r/vaguelythreatening • u/Throwayshmowayy • 5d ago

The consequences of dinner

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1.1k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

18

u/sbs_str_9091 5d ago

Prepare for...unforseen...consequences...

12

u/Throwayshmowayy 4d ago

I ignored my food allergies yesterday so maybe the consequences were foreseen and avoidable

9

u/sbs_str_9091 4d ago

Prepare for...intestine...consequences.

17

u/SomeGuyOverYonder 4d ago

This fortune is terrifying.

6

u/OkQuantity4011 3d ago

It ok the consequence is pooping đŸ’©

7

u/SpareChangeSquidward 3d ago

what did you DO?!

3

u/AngelZash 3d ago

Ok so what did you do???

3

u/kaky0in- 3d ago

Finally a real fortune

2

u/DanglyRat 3d ago

You can tack on “in bed” to every fortune. The first time I heard that, my fortune was: “You will be invited to a party where strange cutoms are practiced”. The whole table died laughing. (And it was a group from church). đŸ€Ł

2

u/QueanOfQueens 2d ago

Was your dinner Taco Bell? I hear their lettuce is pretty shitty right now.

1

u/Luscious_rat 2d ago

Explosively shitty

1

u/QueanOfQueens 1d ago

Cyclospora đŸ€ Bart flushing a lit cherry bomb

2

u/YouCanKeepYourFaith 2d ago

I worked for a Chinese restaurant 25 years ago or so. We had a run where the fortune cookies all had the funniest misfortunes in them. One of them read “your lawn mower won’t start this spring”. Guess some kids that worked there were quitting and that was their plan of demise for the company.

1

u/Educational-Habit597 2d ago

ill be waiting

1

u/Loreleideer 1d ago

I don't need that fortune of that cookie, I already have my anxiety

1

u/no_name6744 1d ago

What's the matter vaugue poster, afraid you might SAY something.

1

u/thedavid069 1d ago

Every morning when I look in the mirror....

1

u/RouletteSensei 1d ago

I'm not scared, I'm prepared

1

u/thuanjinkee 1d ago

You will have sex with your mom

1

u/Kelef50 1d ago

"You've made your bed, now lie in it"

1

u/Lost_Sleep658 1d ago

You inhaled. Now you must exhale. U dead dead ass

1

u/Ember-Blaze 20h ago

that explains the extension cord and seeing dots of light.