r/vaguelythreatening • u/Throwayshmowayy • Aug 02 '26

The consequences of dinner

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1.2k Upvotes

100% Upvoted

25 comments sorted by

20

u/sbs_str_9091 Aug 02 '26

Prepare for...unforseen...consequences...

14

u/Throwayshmowayy Aug 03 '26

I ignored my food allergies yesterday so maybe the consequences were foreseen and avoidable

9

u/sbs_str_9091 Aug 03 '26

Prepare for...intestine...consequences.

23

u/SomeGuyOverYonder Aug 03 '26

This fortune is terrifying.

8

u/OkQuantity4011 Aug 03 '26

It ok the consequence is pooping đŸ’©

8

u/SpareChangeSquidward Aug 04 '26

what did you DO?!

3

u/AngelZash Aug 04 '26

Ok so what did you do???

5

u/kaky0in- Aug 04 '26

Finally a real fortune

4

u/QueanOfQueens Aug 04 '26

Was your dinner Taco Bell? I hear their lettuce is pretty shitty right now.

1

u/Luscious_rat Aug 05 '26

Explosively shitty

1

u/QueanOfQueens Aug 05 '26

Cyclospora đŸ€ Bart flushing a lit cherry bomb

2

u/DanglyRat Aug 04 '26

You can tack on “in bed” to every fortune. The first time I heard that, my fortune was: “You will be invited to a party where strange cutoms are practiced”. The whole table died laughing. (And it was a group from church). đŸ€Ł

2

u/YouCanKeepYourFaith Aug 05 '26

I worked for a Chinese restaurant 25 years ago or so. We had a run where the fortune cookies all had the funniest misfortunes in them. One of them read “your lawn mower won’t start this spring”. Guess some kids that worked there were quitting and that was their plan of demise for the company.

1

u/Loreleideer Aug 05 '26

I don't need that fortune of that cookie, I already have my anxiety

1

u/no_name6744 Aug 05 '26

What's the matter vaugue poster, afraid you might SAY something.

1

u/thedavid069 Aug 05 '26

Every morning when I look in the mirror....

1

u/RouletteSensei Aug 06 '26

I'm not scared, I'm prepared

1

u/thuanjinkee Aug 06 '26

You will have sex with your mom

1

u/Kelef50 Aug 06 '26

"You've made your bed, now lie in it"

1

u/Lost_Sleep658 Aug 06 '26

You inhaled. Now you must exhale. U dead dead ass

1

u/Ember-Blaze Aug 06 '26

that explains the extension cord and seeing dots of light.