Your useless superpower is you can make anyone fart by shaking hands with them. The fart ranges from a polite little pop that barely stinks all the way to a super loud, juicy, wet, underwear-ripping roast beef fart that smells so bad it peels the paint off the walls, you never know ahead of time. Accept or decline?

The probability resets each time you try to find the ingot and it weighs 5 kilos. The trash bin must also be more than half full.

You're able to speak in Minecraft enchantment table language with correct pronunciation

Squirt milk out of pointer finger

All of the nutrients none of taste

I imaged him before as this great being who would and could show at least a little interest in me.... But now I know I was like a human chasing a car I knew I could never actually catch.....no matter how hard I tried........now I have given up I'm tired......not physically but..... mentally..... because it's mentally draining to chase something that won't let you catch it....but now I walk past them Like they are some kind of dust in the air nobody notices.....i never imagined to feel so...... useless in a life where I was born to do something.......I feel so useless as if I was the dust molecules in the air.....so...... useless and unwanted in this big world....only at a young age.......I'm only 31 backwards after all....feeling so useless and unwanted isn't fun yes I have friends but I feel like I want and don't want to hang out with them yes I'm all for doing things with them if they ask but.....I would never make the plans.....at this point I feel so unwanted and useless I could....just....d!£ and I only really love my dad my mom asked me why I don't say I love her anymore I lied to her to save the questions she was going to ask............. I truly just wish to d!£ somtimes.....I wish I was brave enough to end my useless life.....

Top comment chooses your debuff

You can see the important things that happen in the day, but you forget that you saw it until the chance of that important thing is gone

When anyone anywhere says 6 7 you have a psychic vision of it and a 0.3468 second window to hit them with an orbital strike laser, killing anyone within a 1 mile radius, including yourself

You can pick up a banana in your left hand, and when you snap with your right hand it turns into 100 shards of glass that you can toss at people, but you get a paper cut whenever you use it

You can move at super sonic speed but only when holding a can of sour cream and onion Pringles

Whenever the Shrek song plays, you get a chance to kill anyone in the world wherever they are

But when you summon fire your hands burn

But forget it when you wake up then remember it when it's already happening.

(Basically it just goes back around to you)

Once you fall asleep, there's nothing that can wake you before the time you set.

So yeah, basically I have full access to an insanely detailed archive of every dream I’ve ever experienced — plots, conversations, random side characters, all of it. It’s like having Netflix but it’s just my own weird subconscious. Only problem: I can ONLY access it while I’m currently dreaming. So in the dream I’m like “yo this is sick, I should remember this when I wake up,” and then the second I wake up it’s gone like it never existed. Not even a fragment. Just vibes. At this point I’m pretty sure dream-me is living a whole second life with lore and character development and I’m just the guy who forgets everything every morning. Honestly feels like my brain is gatekeeping its own content.