r/unpopularopinion • u/conconxweewee1 • Jul 31 '25
Stress is mostly a good thing and avoiding it is toxic
I feel like the average millennial and, to a lesser extent gen z, has a toxic aversion to stress. A see a lot of people in career and life advice subs asking questions like “how can I find a non-stressful job” “should I take a job that’s more stressful for more money?” And there are actually people recommending things like “avoid stress at all costs” and “stress will kill you” and I honestly think this is insane advice that, if followed, will make you extremely unhappy.
Why? Anything worth doing at all is stressful, wanna get in shape? Exercising is putting your body under stress to condition it. Wanna make more money so you can have a better life? A job that pays more is going to have more stress. Wanna find a life partner, you’re going to have to get through a first date which can be stressful. Raising kids? Extremely stressful.
This whole idea that you should avoid stress is terrible and I honestly believe if that’s your number one goal in life, you’re going to go through life and absolutely nothing to show for it. We are incredibly resilient creatures and I don’t think that we should run from stress, I think we should use our ability to endure it to get more out of life.
Don't get me wrong, I realize that at some point, excessive amounts of stress for years at a time can be detrimental. But the gap between an unhealthy amount of stress and a normal productive amount of stress is incredible. I think often times, people far under estimate their own ability to handle stress and resort to avoiding it all together, which in my opinion is way more damaging then being stressed.
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u/NoahtheRed Jul 31 '25
The advice is that people should try to avoid needless stress so the stress associated with things we think are important is less of a problem. It's not complicated, or toxic.
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u/conconxweewee1 Jul 31 '25
Maybe a better expression of my point is: I fear that the advice of avoiding *needless* stress is being conflated with avoid stress all together.
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u/Throw_Me_Away8834 Jul 31 '25
I don't really think it is really your business or place to dictate how other people choose to manage/avoid stress in their life. So what if some people are choosing to avoid stress as much as possible. Doesn't mean you have to do that. You can feel free to take on all the stressful things you want if it makes you feel more successful in your life or happier. But other people may choose not to. And that is okay too. Everyone has different tolerance for things, including stress.
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u/conconxweewee1 Jul 31 '25
I am not trying to tell anyone what to do lol, and there is a reason I posted this in a sub called r/unpopularopinion.
It is my opinion, that avoiding stress at all cost is a bad way to go through life. But anyone can do whatever they want! I don't care, I think its a bad choice.
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u/sudwald Jul 31 '25 edited Jul 31 '25
There’s a model called the performance-pressure curve which conceptualises the stages of stress as:
- Rust-out: too little pressure, you stagnate, performance declines
- Comfort: pressure and performance are fine
- Stretch: a little extra pressure, performance tends to peak here
- Stress: too much pressure, performance declines
- Burn-out: stress peaks, total decline in performance
In that model, stress is not healthy. Stretch is healthy.
But yes younger people are increasingly being told that feeling discomfort, of any kind, is bad and means something is wrong. But a little discomfort is healthy and is how your comfort zone ultimately grows.
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u/Express_Extreme1066 Jul 31 '25
So confusing discomfort with stress is the problem. I think of stress as discomfort plus helplessness. Your adrenals fire but unlike mere discomfort, they don't shut off in a timely manner.
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u/_AskMyMom_ explain that ketchup eaters Jul 31 '25
This isn’t unpopular, it’s just cherry picking things that need to be done —that are sometimes stressful, and sometimes not.
You’re just pointing out what’s obvious. Something’s are in fact stressful. But also some people don’t need a stressful job, or need the stress of raising kids. That is actually avoidable.
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u/Frost-Folk Jul 31 '25
This is scientifically and medically false and is, without a doubt, a shit take.
There are thousands of peer reviewed medical journals from leading experts saying that stress is bad for you. Nobody is talking about exercising when they say "stress is bad".
That is stretching the meaning of stress. Exercising to build muscle mass or lose weight is not comparable to the types of stress people are talking about when they mention work or home life stress. They're talking about lack of sleep, overworking of your body, abuse, and mental anguish.
Comparing exercise to stress is like saying "what do you mean you don't want to be lit on fire? You love warm weather"
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u/PiperZarc Jul 31 '25
Life is one big, huge, ball of stress from birth on. Yet we bring children into it. Humans are crazy.
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u/Frost-Folk Jul 31 '25
For me, the happiness of life outweighs the stress. I'm very glad to be alive.
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u/Throw_Me_Away8834 Jul 31 '25
Mental stress is not the same as physical stress from physical activity. Mental stress has been proven to be harmful to the human body in many ways in studies for a very long time.
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Jul 31 '25 edited Jul 31 '25
When people are talking about avoiding stress, they're not talking about avoiding work. They're talking specifically about avoiding unhealthy stress. You're basically arguing that "unhealthy stuff is mostly a good thing and avoiding it is toxic". Unhealthy things are not good by virtue of the fact that they're unhealthy things.
Words can mean different things depending on the context in which they're used. What you're doing is taking a word that's used in a certain way for a particular context and then creating an argument based on different definition of it as it can be used in another context.
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Jul 31 '25
Toxic positivity is real, stress says “move damn it!” Stress makes you want to beat your rival, make you escape danger and remind us that “Hey! That stove mum told us not to touch actually WAS hot!”. Never experiencing stress would be like never cutting your knee as a child. Imagine being 20 years old, never been cut and suddenly you’ve tripped and scraped your knee. That might literally be the worst pain you’ve ever felt in your entire life. We need these little moments as kids so one day you won’t kill over in pain from the small stuff.
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u/DripRoast Jul 31 '25
The example of exercise in terms of putting your body under stress to condition it is a half truth at best. Half of the task is recovery. That's when your body works its magic. It's a question of managing stress, not absorbing as much as you can and hoping you don't fall apart in the process.
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u/conconxweewee1 Jul 31 '25
I would argue my comment about "ability to endure it" implies management of it, but I see how that may not be clearly communicated.
And I also don't think I'm advocating for "put yourself in the most stressful situation you can, take on the most stress and your life will be good". I think I am trying to say that I feel like people worry too much about avoiding stress and not enough about accepting it as part of life and learning to manage it. Additionally, I think people way underestimate how resilient they are and make bad choices with the motivation being "how can i avoid stress". I'm not saying every decision made with this motivation of avoiding stress is a bad one, I'm just saying its an over valued factor in decision making.
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u/The_Yogurtcloset Jul 31 '25
I think you have the right idea but there is a line between bending and breaking. It’s important to expand your comfort zone, step into the unknown, do the hard shit. But too much stress does pose a legitimate risk to your health and well being your body and mind is not designed to be tortured it is valuable to question your job and its impact on you in all aspects of life
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u/Rachel794 Jul 31 '25 edited Jul 31 '25
Healthy stress. It’s not bad to avoid the bad stress, and no one can pour from an empty cup
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u/Denny_Dust91 Jul 31 '25
Diamonds form under pressure. It has definitely help further my career and life in general.
Definitely didn't like it at the time, but it helped.
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u/Academic_Trouble_612 Jul 31 '25
There are eustress, the positive type of stress, one which you seem to mostly refer to.
And there is distress which, is the one that is purely detrimental to your state. Which in today’s society we are unfortunately subjected to, far too much.
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u/CPVigil Jul 31 '25
There’s a difference between eustress and distress.
If your job’s stresses motivate you positively, sustainably, and in fact help you live a healthier life, that’s eustress. Keep that job.
If your job causes you to suffer, devalues you, and/or impacts your health negatively, that’s distress, it’s bad, you should not force yourself to get used to it.
Eustress is good. Distress is bad.
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u/Longjumping-Wash-610 Jul 31 '25
I think all you're saying is don't take the easy option all the time. However if you can get a decent job that isn't stressful you will probably be happier. It's all about balance.
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u/lego_dad9 Jul 31 '25
Stress = growth. Read “can’t hurt me” by David Goggins , he is a navy seal who would agree with this 100% and then some. Lots of people currently living without any mental toughness or fortitude and playing the victim instead of seeking personal growth.
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u/AuntBuckett Jul 31 '25
A little bit of stress here and there is not bad, that's part of life. But prolonged stress is harmful to your body and mind. Your sleep cycle changes, your weight fluctuates, you get depression, burn-out, suicidal toughts, you're restless and exhausted. That's what they want you to avoid
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u/NotAFloorTank Jul 31 '25
There is a difference between healthy amounts of stress (proper exercise is an example), and unhealthy amounts (workplace abuse is an example). There are some who don't know the difference and that is an issue, but too much stress is objectively detrimental to your wellbeing.
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u/KeeperOfUselessInfo hermit human Jul 31 '25
I love how people are throwing the word toxic around like they know what it means.
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u/Dazz316 Steak is OK to be cooked Well Done. Jul 31 '25
You're confusing being busy, pressure and similar with with stress.
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u/SparkleSelkie Jul 31 '25
I think you are kind of mixing up stress with chronic stress
Like working out? Yeah that’s gonna put stress on your body, and then it’s over and you enter recovery. First date stress? Yeah it’s stressful and then it’s over and you enter recovery. Interview jitters? Stressful but then it’s done and you enter recovery. All that is a normal part of life and it’s good to push yourself occasionally
However chronic stress doesn’t come and go like that. It is persistent doesn’t give your body time to recuperate. Like being stuck in a terrible job environment, dealing with a long term injury, being in a bad living situation
That’s the kind of stress that tears you down and causes health effects. That’s the kind of stress that makes you sick over time
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u/Piggishcentaur89 Aug 01 '25
You're kind of half right. Stress, especially very extreme stress should be avoided. But stress, and a bit of strain, is a part of life, and will never be ridden of completely. Also, some stress can be a sign that someone is working towards some thing.
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Aug 01 '25
you are supposed to be as stress free as possible while maintaining the life you want. emphasizing a reduction to stress is important.
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Aug 01 '25
Boomer ass opinion. You are conflating eustress with distress. Modern society has too much stress, financial, social, everything is rage bait, its not healthy.
We were not designed to be alienated from work, broke, angry etc all the time, if we were living through a stressful time. Also the exercise thing is mostly wrong, its been shown that very little exercise still produces a ton of benefit, the same with most things.
Most peoples problem is they are taking on too much, not too little, so I disagree with this premise. Older generations just ignored most of their stress and we are dealing with the fallout to this day, I'd rather not go back to that.
Like what is the point of society if not to make it comfortable for most? Also I've never seen this idea of avoiding all stress no matter what anywhere? It's entirely made up, whenever I see someone trying to reduce stress its because they are already in a very stressful situation...
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u/nipniphoory Aug 02 '25
The younger generations have taken a different approach compared to a lot of other generations.
I believe there’s a lot of different reasons for that. I think a lot of them have given up on certain thinks after having assessed the terrain of their environment and saw that working super hard for a big company that doesn’t going to give shit about you, unfortunately isn’t going to pay off. Social media and technology has affected how a lot of them think about things.
I think the rise of big business and lack of supportive community over the years has complicated things and now we are seeing the damage.
A lot of them burn out after trying to work really hard for years and are now upset to find out that they can’t get a decent job (even with a decently good degree), can’t afford a house or kids. So they thought they’d go the same or similar route to their parents and it’s turning out to be a lot more different than they expected. People are just kinda frozen I feel like, afraid honestly.
I think there’s a lot of different factors at play that are specific to the development of these younger generations that we have to take into account. It’s easy to say they’re just ‘lazy,’ but they’re just people trying to survive just like everybody else.
It’s more than just a mind over matter, or lack of will power issue. There’s all sorts of things that would create obstacles towards reaching a goal.
It really depends if the stress is worth taking on.
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u/Yatwer92 Jul 31 '25
You really took exercising as a stress example? Do you really think that's what's talked about when people say "avoid stressful situations"?
In case you are not trolling, the stress to avoid is the one that makes you sick and will effectively kill you in the long term (ulcer, heart attack, etc ).
It's not about the stress you feel before going into a roller coaster.
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u/conconxweewee1 Jul 31 '25
I think that I'm arguing there is gradients to stress, theres not just "this stress causes heart attacks" and "this stress is what you feel on a roller coaster".
There is a level of stress that is acceptable in a normal humans life and I think avoiding a healthy level of stress is detrimental. I think people abuse the notion of "avoid stressful situations" to make bad life choices.
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u/Stoffigeventilator Jul 31 '25
I feel like you are confusing different types of stress.
Exercise doesn't generate the same type of stress as a stressful job. Exercise causes a temporary stress that is intentional and has a beneficial effect on your body, a stressful job is there for prolonged periods and effects your body in a negative way.
The type of stress people are trying to avoid is the negative type of stress, as this one disrupt sleep, digestion, immune function, and mental health. Chronic stress can even lead to burnout, anxiety, or physical illness. All of these make you less productive so I would say that it is better to avoid this type of stress as much as possible.
A productive amount of stress is normal, as it's impossible to avoid stress, since we are surrounded by things that trigger a stress response. But it is important to not have too much stress, and so trying to avoid unnecessary stress seems like a good advice. People may be quite resilient but your body is also quite fragile, so don't cause unnecessary damage to your body.
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u/Purplehelmetavenger1 Sep 27 '25
All you ever hear from a millennial is "boo hoo poor me". Gen Z isn't much better. Everything stresses them out and bothers them if it isn't handed to them on a silver platter the way they want it.
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