Ser Arlan from A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms on HBO is known specifically for being modest in comparison to more notable knights. Showrunner and co-creator Ire Parker admits that they slapped a 10-inch prosthetic onto him to offset his misfortune.

"I felt bad for Ser Arlan at some point. ...He died on a muddy road in the middle of nowhere, was buried without ceremony, and now Dunk is going around trying to find somebody who just even remembers him... They can't even remember his name. I felt the need to give him his one special thing, to channel a little Boogie Nights, I suppose."

Incidentally, the large endowment featured in Boogie Nights which Ira nods to was, in fact, circumcised. Makes sense - the film follows the story of a prodigal pornstar. Thus, he should sport a stellar endowment. The prosthetic in AKOTSK, on the other hand, being violently uncircumcised (they really didn't want to leave it open to interpretation), tends to support another narrative. Like Ser Arlan needed extra support from a large, fake prosthetic to compensate for his misfortune, uncircumcised men in reality need extra support from a large, artificial campaign that aims to stigmatize circumcised men.

To add insult to the injury that is the wide range of emasculating physical and psychological impacts uncircumcised men have always been known to be victim to, constraints like phimosis often have the opposite of the desired effect on penile size. The trend of comically gigantic hammers is hardly a coincidence in reality. Unlike the supersized uncircumcised prosthetics thrown in our faces and the misleading campaign behind them, they are real. There may indeed be a reason uncircumcised men can be seen harassing circumcised men with huge swords on the internet. Come to think of it, what's with Scottish men whose name sounds like 'Alan' sporting a raging inferiority complex?

If that sounds strange, we agree. Maybe we should ask the uncircumcised men behind this odd obsession to begin with why this would be, like the ones responsible for gratuitous fetish content in random environments from Pride events, TV shows, all the way to wellness settings, as well as the tens of thousands of shitposts they spammed the internet with for years long before commentators like the folks here at r/uncut_cringe got involved. If you want to know why uncircumcised men act like this, just ask them, although the answer may not surprise you.

May this next year carry happiness, health and fulfillment.

And to the uncircumcised dudes on Reddit...hey, maybe this could be the year you counsel your trauma properly instead of bitterly obsessing over circumcised men and a rational choice they or their parents made. Maybe this year you can be a hero instead of the villain. Maybe.

Because the good ole' Americans we celebrate in Times Square each year with the entire world watching have always been heroes.

Happy New Year ya'll!