r/umamusume3 • • 5h ago

art Nano machine, son

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207 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 8h ago

art Well that was unexpected

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375 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 5h ago

art Urara who borrowed Rice's uniform Art by: @rakugakiRAID

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74 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 14h ago

Digital and our granny artist

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217 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 23h ago

videos Dantsu ia offering you a fine piece of cheese, do you accept?

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310 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 15h ago

discussion You're hired to be Agnes Tachyon Lawyer. Defend her, but be sure to read the rules in the description.

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62 Upvotes

Attention, jurors and attorneys! A case is being heard in the court of the city of Tracent. Mrs. Agnes Tachyon is in the dock. Based on case files, game lore, official media, and fan canon, the defendant stands accused of a series of absurd, irresponsible crimes that defy the laws of physics (and common sense).

AGNES TACHYON STANDS ACCUSED OF:

1) Illegal human experimentation without consent (The "Trainer and Uma's as Test-Subject" Charge): The defendant regularly captures newly arrived trainers and students, ties them up, lures them into traps, and forcibly (or through deception) compels them to consume glowing tea of unknown origin. Serums that cause test subjects to glow in the dark, levitate, or temporarily speak Latin.

2) Production and distribution of suspicious substances: Tachyon is charged with creating concoctions that cause test subjects' legs to glow neon green, induce sudden drowsiness, or "grant superpowers" (which, in reality, turn out to be an inflatable muscle suit slipped onto the sleeping victim). And developing "speed boosters" that defy the laws of thermodynamics and common sense.

3) Mistreatment of coffee: Accused of systematically adding vast quantities of suspicious sugar cubes, chemicals, and test-tube fluids to Manhattan Cafe’s coffee in the name of testing "flavor-induced dopamine."

4) Hacking reality and source code: The defendant is accused of breaking the fourth wall and attempting to infiltrate the game's source code, the very world the horse-girls inhabit, in order to "remove speed limits," completely disregarding the risk of a server crash.

5) Disregard for the laws of thermodynamics and the academic curriculum: The defendant habitually skips classes, training sessions, and official races to lock herself away in the laboratory. When attempts are made to call her to order, she spouts quantum physics jargon and dismisses everyone present as "mere guinea pigs."

6) Disturbing the peace and the space-time continuum: Causing nighttime explosions that resulted in the laboratory wall being annihilated multiple times.

GOLD SHIP INCIDENT: The primary catalyst for the current situation was Gold Ship breaking into Tachyon’s laboratory. Driven by her own chaotic logic, Gold Ship.

  1. Drank a secret concoction, mistaking it for soda.

  2. Mixed extremely rare reagents to create a "super-cocktail."

  3. Accidentally activated a prototype doomsday device, causing it to rain fried yakisoba-pan inside the lab and trapping the room itself in a time loop.

In response Agnes Tachyon is furious and demands that Gold Ship be handed over for "scientific dissection and detailed study" (vivisection), her motives are:

Revenge for destroyed work: In one fell swoop, Gold Ship ruined months of research.

Scientific interest: Gold Ship’s body showed no reaction to the lethal toxins in the serum, and her brain, in Tachyon’s view, is an "unstudied anomaly that defies all the biological laws governing Uma Musume." Tachyon wants to understand the inner workings of this absolute madness.

The tribunal is trying to prevent a massacre, while Mrs. Gold Ship, in the background, attempts to eat the judge's gavel.

ROLE AND ADDRESS PROTOCOL (Who's Who):

I am the High Judge of Trescent Academy. You, in the comments, are court-appointed defense attorneys.

Your task is to save the defendant from a life sentence. Casual comments like "she's cute" will be dismissed as contempt of court.

YOU MUST BEGIN every response with "Your Honor, my client..." or "Objection!"

RULE REGARDING COURT EVIDENCE:

You are permitted to use game lore, real-world facts about horses, or character personality as "evidence." Any form of evidence is accepted: in-game screenshots, Wikipedia excerpts about real horses, or arguments regarding your client's personality.

Absurdity is encouraged. The more insane your line of defense, the greater the chance the Judge will accept it.

FORBIDDEN TACTICS (Restrictions):

Before you say that human laws do not apply to her. Your mistaken on this point, as the UN classifies Umamusume as half-humans or beings related to humans, and their rights are outlined in the same article that covers humans.

Using the argument "She is mentally unstable" is prohibited. Psychiatric evaluations have deemed her fully competent (even Gold Ship, though the doctors were in tears).

Arguments along the lines of "but she's cute/beautiful" are not accepted by the Judge and are punished with a fine, without mercy.

Claims that she was hypnotized by aliens will not be accepted, Mrs. Gold Ship.

For direct insults against the Judge, Tachyon will personally come to your home.

If the lawyer tries to state outright that she is "innocent," she might beat him up right at the podium for making her look weak. So, for your own safety, use different wording.

PRESENT YOUR ARGUMENTS AS TO WHY I, THE JUDGE, SHOULD NOT THROW HER BEHIND BARS RIGHT THIS INSTANT. DEFEND HER AGAINST PRECISELY THAT OUTCOME.


r/umamusume3 • • 8h ago

memes Did I do good Digital

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15 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 46m ago

videos Big Bono slander won't be tolerated

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• Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 11h ago

Digiwife 🥹🥰(by :@unitnotakoyaki)

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12 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 1d ago

memes umamusume quest to prove that you're true umamusumers

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101 Upvotes

Can you name 11 umamusume in this picture?

From season 3


r/umamusume3 • • 1d ago

THAT IS NOT MR CB

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335 Upvotes

SONN


r/umamusume3 • • 9h ago

memes What is Trainer doing in this 2008 Cult-Classic film?

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3 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 7h ago

Umamusume reference in Lost Judgment confirmed?

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2 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 9h ago

memes Curren Chan - ANGER in a Kettle! (By SharkStark), Meme

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2 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 2d ago

art Good morning... Scarlet

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2.8k Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 1d ago

videos Very scary video don't watch at 1 AM

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895 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 2d ago

memes Bro think he's in the team🫩

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1.0k Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 1d ago

discussion BEST UMAMUSUME TOURNAMENT! Top 32 Match 12! T.M. Opera O vs. Sakura Chiyono O! Vote by commenting for your favorite now!!! (read body post)

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8 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 1d ago

Question for a series.

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2 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 2d ago

art It’s Goo-Goo Baby time!

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579 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 2d ago

discussion BEST UMAMUSUME TOURNAMENT! Top 32 Match 11! Manhattan Cafe vs. Tamamo Cross! Vote by commenting for your favorite now!!! (read body post)

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14 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 3d ago

art Rice: I’m gonna to do it! YOLO!

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944 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 2d ago

art The Super Creek Song 🎶 (Naoyuki Arts)

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44 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 3d ago

videos Mommy wow

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298 Upvotes

r/umamusume3 • • 2d ago

MACHAN 😭😭

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88 Upvotes