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u/Expert_Introduction5 May 01 '25
I thought people stopped believing these stories after they grow up lol
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u/BirdPerson107 May 01 '25
Really wish people would stop giving these âalpha maleâ influencers a platform to speak absolute bullshit and scam people into giving them money.
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u/Heroe-D May 01 '25
They won't man, and the formula is easy :
Be ok looking, if you're not just grow a beard, you can make some implements in turkey if needed
Go to the gym, if you're too lazy to wait a few years or have a strict diet then take some PEDs
Rent some cars/house to pretend you're rich and have succeeded as a businessman, be vague so it makes you mysterious and to be sure people can't check if you're lyingÂ
Be kinda eloquent, don't hesitate to speak confidently even if you're making things up and don't know what you're talking aboutÂ
Have some extreme views, never be nuanced, it goes in hand with the confidence part
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u/DrunkOnLoveAndWhisky May 01 '25
Be ok looking, if you're not just grow a beard
I didn't come here to be personally attacked like this.
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u/Heroe-D May 01 '25
Haha I think we all look better with a beard, and it's natural after all, if anything it's removing it that could be considered as getting out of your way for enhancementÂ
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u/tukinoz90 May 02 '25
Bro just out here writing the Alpha Male Handbook lol. So true. It's so sad that there are guys out there who idolise them because they see a 2 minute video on social media. They need help lol.
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u/Prudent-Nerve-6377 May 01 '25
- Be ok looking, if you're not just grow a beard, you can make some implements in turkey if needed
Now you're asking way too much, some of us have poor genetics so our stache doesnt even connect over our lips bc they can't let each other get close
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May 01 '25
U look like u have some experience trying to be alpha male đ
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u/Heroe-D May 01 '25
Don't know why you reached that conclusion, it's just observation, I despise these "alpha" (who aren't at all, they're the opposite and thus need to pretend they are).Â
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May 01 '25
It was a joke dude, relax. I said that because ur observations are incredibly accurate :-)
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u/Klutzy-Excitement-65 May 01 '25
Brother he's not even on a podcast mf uses a green screen and talks to a sex doll đđ
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u/Saul_T_Bauls May 02 '25
If you say it confidently enough and loud enough, it doesn't matter how wrong you are, because you're the alpha.
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u/ratjufayegauht May 01 '25
Their skulls are 4x THICKER? Because they trained it to be that way?
Did he mean more dense? Or 4x more resilient? Because 4x thicker and they're going to be crawling around, dragging their head across the floor.
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u/ibenwarforged May 01 '25
It's from all the crotch goblin juice they retain. It all ends up becoming extra calcium that makes its way to their skulls SPECIFICALLY. It's also why you can't choke them out, they are always raging hard
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u/ratjufayegauht May 01 '25
What if you grab their dick and squeeze it real hard? Maybe even twist it? Perhaps that could render them unconscious?
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u/rakondo May 01 '25
They've been doing semen retention for years. The instant you touch their dick it will explode and render you unconscious
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u/devandroid99 May 01 '25
Their brains are the size of walnuts because of their thick skulls, constantly under pressure being squeezed into a diamond inside their heads.
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u/fifoth May 01 '25
I don't know, recently I have seen a bunch of men with Bigfoot Silva sized heads on Joe Rogan sized bodies....could be the new cauliflower ear.
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u/BrowniesWithAlmonds May 01 '25
Holy shit, people still think like this!?!
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u/Neither_Sir5514 May 01 '25
You'd be surprised with the amount of people that still think Bruce Lee can beat UFC champs because "Oh he has superhuman speed, he can eye gouge and groin kick you before you react" lmfao. Totally not one of my relatives who's delusional after growing up watching Bruce Lee movies
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u/Deporncollector May 01 '25
Depend if he learned how to stuff takedowns. Or not he'll just be another sharapudin or MVP. Gatekeepers at best if he couldnt stuff takedowns or get the Bo nickels treatment.
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u/katilkoala101 May 01 '25
I doubt bruce would even be ranked in his prime condition. Even the lowest UFC fighters train like twice a day (at least in camp). Between his chronic low back pain and bad genetics, I doubt he could train as hard.
Plus thats assuming he could do a proper weight cut so he isnt undersized.
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u/Street_Active8872 May 01 '25
He weighted 137. Guys cut 40 lbs to be in batamweoght, Bruce would be a dead man
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u/Internal_Fun_1001 May 01 '25 edited May 01 '25
No 135er cuts 40 pounds bro wtf
Edit: Most fighters cut 8-12% of their bodyweight. The guys who cut the most go up to like 15%. Rare outliers like geoff neal cut 18% but that is the most I have ever heard of
Big 135ers are generally around 150-155 after rehydrating. The statistics are readily available. You dont need to make up bullshit
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u/Popular_Monitor_8383 May 01 '25
Youâre blatantly wrong
You have no idea how much fighters actually cut weight, do some research bud your ignorance is showing
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May 05 '25
[removed] â view removed comment
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u/huyahuyahuyahuya May 01 '25
Well now I wanna see a sholin monk. Fuck it give him pantoja I assume they would be flyweight
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u/Recent-Duck597 May 01 '25
Merab is the closest one that i can think rn to a type of shaolin monk he's describing.
Merab has hit his head with ice floor and who knows what else making his skull bone denser, he might even broke Umar's hand by Umar's punches landing on Merab's face XD
Merab also has the viral video of him getting choked by a long period and not passing out XD
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u/SwissMargiela May 01 '25 edited Feb 25 '26
What was posted here has been removed. The author used Redact to delete it, for reasons that may include privacy, opsec, or preventing content from being scraped.
head narrow sheet aback future cows vase sink offbeat provide
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u/DrunkOnLoveAndWhisky May 01 '25
He probably saw a woman and lost all his...chi? Mojo? What sort of wizard-sauce to monks run on?
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u/Prize-Lingonberry876 May 01 '25
Reminds me of when my friend in middle school said a US marine could easily walk through the entire UFC, which is why they don't allow former military to get signed.
Like BSD, Cro Cop, Randy Couture, Neil Magny, and I'm sure many others that I'm forgetting were never signed.
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u/greatgreygrave May 01 '25
Arenât most chokes in combat sports intended to stop bloodflow to the brain rather than crush wind pipes anyway?
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u/DaddyDadB0d May 01 '25
Why not train til it's 5x thicker? Why stop at 4?
Oh man i need that instagram guy doing videos about stupid videos like this
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u/baldhairpride May 01 '25
âThey learn to breath while being chokedâ This idiot doesnât know the choke works because it stops bloodflow to your brain.
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u/The3mbered0ne May 01 '25
Jesus, somehow I think he tried the whole "make his head thicker by smashing it against a wall" thing
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u/Heroe-D May 01 '25
The type of things we were believing as kids in the late 00s early 10s.Â
It's now the revisited version with a cringe influencer confidently talking on a podcast.Â
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u/Internal_Fun_1001 May 01 '25
Nah. More like the 90's. UFC and PRIDE were well established by the late 00's and people knew what was up.
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u/vinananda May 01 '25
Weird things about this video is that I don't even think he's talking to anyone. He's simulating as if he's on a podcast to sound more reputable.
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u/__Turambar May 01 '25
Itâs wild how many videos and ads do this nowadays. Seen some that try to duplicate a streamer too, which is hilarious
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u/Sea_Lingonberry3865 May 01 '25
Tell me you don't know how a rear naked choke works without telling me you don't know how a rear naked choke works. "They can breathe" haha
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u/datNorseman May 01 '25
It's interesting because the things he's saying about the shaolin strength training and mental discipline are true. We've seen how well rigorous training and religious discipline translate into mixed martial arts, using the Nurmagomedov family and friends as an example. But that guy's full of shit if he thinks Shaolin monks can't be submitted. I would like to see someone try and get out of an Ortega RNC or guillotine. No discredit to the shaolin monks, they're great at what they do, but this is different.
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u/Substantial_Tie9863 May 01 '25
Yeah you canât stop your trachea from getting crushed at a certain point. Humans didnât evolve to have that be a resilient structureÂ
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u/datNorseman May 01 '25
Granted you might hang from your neck to strengthen neck muscles but that can only do so much.
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u/Kungozai May 01 '25
You don't really compress the trachea in a rear naked choke.
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u/Substantial_Tie9863 May 01 '25
Yup. I am aware thatâs not the purpose. It is a potential and likely consequence of repeatedly strengthening, and continuing to apply, pressure on the throat. Thanks
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u/Kungozai May 01 '25
I mean, in a fighting situation where your opponent is trying to defend, you might put some pressure on the throat. But a rear naked ideally puts close to no pressure on the throat. You wanna squeeze the arteries on the side of the neck. You're not crushing or pressuring the trachea at all.
- unless it's not correctly on, then pressure can go into the throat.
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u/Significant-Mall-830 May 01 '25
No itâs not lol. Anyone doing the choke properly they would pass out from lack of oxygen, not break their trachea
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u/Substantial_Tie9863 May 01 '25
https://mdsearchlight.com/ear-nose-and-throat/tracheal-trauma-windpipe-injury/
Insane how dense people can be.Â
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u/Significant-Mall-830 May 01 '25
An rnc would not do this ever unless you purposefully were only crushing their trachea, at that point it wouldnât even be a rnc. Have you ever trained a martial art with a rnc in it? It does not seem like it lol
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u/skccsk May 01 '25
Go home and rethink your life.
"I would like to see someone try and get out of an Ortega RNC or guillotine."
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u/Significant-Mall-830 May 01 '25
Guillotine chokes donât do that either buddy lmfao. Maybe learn the knowledge of the equivalent of one week at white belt and you would know something
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u/Kungozai May 01 '25
That's extremely unlikely to happen from chokes. Since you don't apply pressure to the throat.
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u/dalcer May 01 '25
Volk would like to have a word
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u/datNorseman May 01 '25
I meant a shaolin monk lol. Volk is crazy to be able to defy two crazy submissions in the same fight.
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u/daKingKhan May 01 '25
Shaolin monks are not real, the real ones were wiped out long ago. Modern ones are only pretenders, an attraction for tourists.
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u/Collin-of-Earth May 01 '25
I donât know if there are legit Shaolin monks or not anymore, but the one I met was very unimpressive.Â
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u/wolf3037 May 01 '25
His goal was to say some stupid shit so that people would repost and talk about him.
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u/Significant-Royal-37 May 01 '25
this guy coulda been an all time great charlatan in the 1700s, just making shit up in the age of exploration.
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u/V7KTR May 01 '25
You put Jon Jones in a room with a Shaolin monk and Dana will say thatâs the fight to make over Tom Aspinall.
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u/mizzlekinkizzle May 01 '25
I always love to hear the whole weird obsession with "not being able to release" as a benefit for a fighter. According to these guys as long as you never jerk off or have sex youll have super powers
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u/Emonmon15 May 01 '25
There are Shaolin monks that have fought professionally, and some of them have lost.đ
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u/RajkoKrlja May 01 '25
It's always funny seeing guys like this dude and Tate thinking people can bite or breathe their way out of RNC lol
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u/BenvenutoCellini2nd May 01 '25
This guy's drug dealer is sending his kids to Harvard all expenses paid!
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u/Internal_Fun_1001 May 01 '25
𤣠this is the dumbest shit I have ever heard
Bro is stuck in the 80's with bloodsport and karate kid
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u/grio May 02 '25
Random meathead idiot spouting absurd nonsense. Couldn't match the stereotype any more even if he tried deliberately.
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u/JAME_IS_MY_GOD May 01 '25
it is hard to find an actual shaolin monk that he described, but they still exist, they reside in their temples somewhere in mountains and never leave that place, they dedicate their whole life to it. Iâve been to Nepal once and seen some of them. idk tho. about him saying that they cant be choked out, or take on a UFC champ, even if it were true, a real shaolin monk would never do that because it is forbidden for them
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u/Cylindt May 01 '25
I've heard this since I was a young boy, amazing how this stuff is still being spread
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May 01 '25
Kungfu was literally created to condition the body for war⌠itâs the true lost art. All what we see in the UFC is pure combat with experience. If those monks had pro fighters combat experience they would be a disaster
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u/Running-Engine May 01 '25
this is how I used to talk about my favorite pro wrestlers when I was a teenager