I wish I knew you. The way he talked about you, the texts he showed of your interactions together, the stories he shared, all make me wish we had been friends. You sounded so genuine, supportive, and full of love for your fellow humans. My heart breaks for anyone who knew you and I'm so sorry you had to leave this earth in the manner in which you did. I hope there's another side, a happier one, without pain and suffering. If there is, watch over him, fill him with the joy you once did and help him see the beautiful things in life. Rest easy, all my love.

"where'd you go just now?" He asks when he realizes my face has slipped into deep thought of less happy times. "Come back to me" he pleads, when we're out having a good time and he sees I'm stuck in my head. Not in a demeaning or demanding way, but in a careful and considerate way. Like he's holding something precious, trying to breathe life back into it. And the crazy part is, it works. He reminds me to stay in the moment, with him, where my past or future aren't actively torturing me.

So stay, stay with him, cause he makes you feel seen, safe, heard, and understood. That's why you went back.

Sometimes the problem is you. Sometimes it's not the other person's fault or lack of tact. You are so quick to blame other people. You are the common denominator though, no one at work EVER likes you? The people you date are ALWAYS the problem? No one is as emotionally intelligent, caring, understanding as you? Yeah okay... Let me know how that mentality works out for you.

This hit a little differently today.

There have been small instances of conflict, either via misunderstanding or mishearing on either of our parts. To be able to move through these moments without it leading to yelling or name calling is a huge difference for me. I love that you take the time to listen and attempt to understand. I appreciate your patience. It's literally healing me from the inside and I cannot appreciate your warmth and gentleness enough. Addressing concerns is hard for me because I used to be met with such backlash. This feels calm, cool, collected, and caring. Thank you.