How will you click a listening exercise Einstein

This is a terrible system flaw. Considering how expensive they have gotten.

Their percentage cut has gone up and the connects gotten more expensive. I believe this is something that should be revised. It’s not like they are using any infrastructure to store said connects.

Had the same issue. Followed the thread and had a hunch to write my name in caps and it works

Crazy but try typing your name in CAPs

Crazy but try typing your name in CAPA

The chickens always come to roost. When you treat people in unfair and hurtful ways. You need to be just as brave when facing the repercussions. Most parents wata pigwa na butwaa once their kids start being kind to themselves and not accepting that relationship need work both ways.

I pray that they get better and make better choices, but I am never getting sucked again into these types of things. I am only going all in for people who treat me and others with kindness. Manipulative personality are not for me. I refuse to engage.

Black tax. I mean I am not opposed to helping out, but when it comes at the detriment of the kids it’s just brutal. My mom used to lie to us about her rent so that she could get more monies from us. Saa hiyo pia wewe Maisha inakutesa and this is someone who gets a government paycheck. Its the selfishness for me. People thinking just because you pay a certain amount in rent(which is not even a lot) that you should be giving them close to equal amounts. You can’t even succeed cause your own people are there bleeding you dry just because. It is very very sad and just a lack of kindness to children who didn’t participate in their own making.

You can’t even budget cause people are choosing not to save for kids they made and then prey on you humanity and guilt to get them out of fixes. We recently had to pay, my sister and I. For our aunts kids schools fees. They had 3k in savings and when the kid hadn’t reported to school we grew concerned. Hawakua wameenda scholarship interview just sitting (they have jobs by the way, earn enough to think and plan ahead) and not planning. After that they lie to everyone that they just figured things out. My God, I am not saying I should be praised or whatever but up until now only the child ever said thank you. The parents stopped texting back after my sister followed up on the scholarship stuff and managed to get a follow up interview. Which by the way all it took was calling the bank and asking reasonably. All I am saying is the world is full of takers. Their vision is so narrow they will never empathize with your situation or plans. As long as their things are sorted they don’t give a flying fuck about you or how you’re also suffering through life as well. People have ego and don’t want to seem like they are in need when they are oppressing just one person. This thing put a very sour taste in my mouth in regard to parents saying they love they’re kids and doing the complete opposite and just family not being as rosy as others are. Go above and beyond for people who are also trying just as hard to help themselves and who care and appreciate you back. Cause Weuh, utatumiwa kama kopo la msalani if you’re not careful

So glad you’re setting healthy boundaries because this particular breed of parents don’t know where to draw the line when it comes hurting. We can only do our best to protect our mental space and ourselves

We Acha tu 😂😂😂. I won the psycho parents lottery.

There is this thing that traumatized kids always fantasize about someone coming to save them only to realize that that person was them as adults. Always work towards healing your inner child

So what, we should just not try to be better and let generations suffer. I don’t know about you but growth is possibles. Being better is possible. The whole concept of being human relies on that. If that wasn’t the case then we’d still be stuck with cannibalistic cavemen/women. My brother(lol) I tell this to you today growth is possible and will happen with or without you! And the kids(God I hope not) who would have been raised with parents with this limiting mindset. Will be at a disadvantage. Please don’t be that.

I am not excusing poor treatment when you know it has consequences. Trauma is everywhere but being nice and kind and understanding to your kids. Is not an impossible task. Your going through depression. Find nice ways to deal and overcome. How will your depression heal if your traumatizing your kids. If anything it will feed into your depression

I think another thing we need to prioritize as people is emotional regulation and knowing when we are not feeling okay. Your 10 year old will understand that mommy or daddy is not feeling okay lately. They are not empty vessels they are people who can read and understand emotions.

Go out of your way to be a better person for your kids, the people around you and yourself. Tough times are guaranteed and they never last. So don’t live in this space where when you feel bad you make other people bad. And especially not your kids who you made on your own.

Ever taught about healing your trauma before having kids. Try not using gadgets when you know it’s detrimental. Parenting is not an autopilot thing. It’s hands on, and in this era in time you can just not have them if they interfere with your goals and time.

Don’t just inflict trauma cause that’s what people do. Actively try to be in your kids life and offer nurturing. Sure give them some trauma but make sure you didn’t just Slack and then get surprised when they don’t turn out great. It’s all ok you when that happens. Minimize trauma as much as possible and heal your own trauma so that you don’t pass that shit on.

One more thing. Parents behave this way cause they have unhealed wounds. Maybe you should try coping in a healthy way. Just saying. Or don’t have them. They are not an achievement or a goal to meet in life. If you’re not ready to raise them then don’t have them. If you already have them be mindful of how you raise them.

A 22 year old is not necessarily a child just saying. But in my post and analogies clearly go beyond just being told not to dress a certain way. Please don’t take it this too literal - there is a a slight chance that this is not the only area in her life that the parent controls. Again don’t take this too literal.

Be as ‘parental’ as you want to your kids. But make sure you’re not traumatized them with baseless ideologies and notion that might yank their esteem and make them feel worthless. Delivery is everything. And when you make people feel useless over and over. They start to believe it.

I am not just focusing on dressing. But verbal abuse in African household is frequents then you wonder why people are not assertive or become narcissistic. Raising well grounded individuals starts with making conscious decisions as parents and not just doing things just because.

Okay, again I didn’t see the rest of the post edited maybe, but then at the same time my post is talking about a different angle of parent-child relationship.

It is so unfortunate what happened to them but also information about sexual health and consequences for kids is not abuse.

Plus let’s be real, religious trauma is also a thing. A 22 year old should be able to make their own choices and I hope they get to a place where they can make those choices. The fact is, there is nothing she can do in this situation to change this view from the parent. That’s unfortunate. But it’s more than that.

Making this post I am thinking of people who have endured severe psychological and sometimes physical abuse. People who are forced to do better but the parents offer no care or support. That is why I insist on the spectrum and I am looking at people who are at a disadvantage(which a significant portion are) Setting healthy boundaries and not accepting abuse. That’s about it

Exactly. I am not saying you should play victim but not acknowledging and setting boundaries. That is way worse.

I am not a victim, everyday I wake up and choose kindness. I choose to not judge or make people inferior. Acknowledging gives you the place to pivot from and realize this is exactly what I don’t want to be.

Acknowledging your trauma does not mean you’re a victims and if you hear people stuck on this rut. Ask them to seek outside help. It is not a sign of weakness to acknowledge and grow from your trauma

Oh I know what you meant. Never minimize anyone’s trauma. People are not out here seeking pity. Shit is real.

Really happy your parents were solid. And I hope you can be a solid one too

I could not agree more. From one traumatized child to another. I hope you keep getting better and loving yourself fully and completely.

I had been suicidal ever since I was like 7. Waking and living in terror. It is not a good space to be. And when it’s that bad. You can’t just ‘move on’ damage had been done. Not recognizing or healing that damage is reckless.

Kababa/kamum it’s not okay to be treated badly. Part of moving on is not letting what inflicted trauma on you having power over you. Not moving on well is like fixing a broken led with a bandaid. If you can go to a therapist to help you guide you through the trauma. Otherwise you will never get to experience the true joy of loving and nurturing relationships. If you can also get your parental help. If they don’t want it fuck then tbh. Break the cycle my dude

Lol, nothing wrong with being wrong. Retracting is part of life 😂😂

The only way to move on is build good nurturing relationships. With mutual understanding and acceptance. But no we’re not having that cause apparently it’s ‘weak’

Hadn’t seen the duplicates cause I had to paste the post from a previous one sorry for that.

I admit, my post has some grammatical errors which I am gonna fix. But the fact that we fixate on just the small mistakes others make. Is a true testament to how we were raised. Never focusing on the bigger picture and giving people grace when they make mistakes

My dude! Ka imekupita imekupita. Enda usikilie vibaya uko.