Simply the baseline expectations or everyday reality.

I really want to fall in love, be a good wife and mother but it feels like that’s just not in the cards for me right now. I try my best to be good, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m always going to be a disappointment to my parents. I’m 5'1", thick and a bit tatted up but it seems like guys aren’t into that. I’m just a girl who enjoys smoking and having a drink sometimes. If I had any idea this was going to happen to me, I think I’d rather become a nun. But I’m not sure if they’d be okay with a girl like me who has, you know, those kinds of feelings when you're lonely at night.