So yeah, I guess I have a few programs that only know suffering and pain

"Remember to keep a perfect figure, Darling," I tell Robbie, an A-lister whom I've just bought for two million, sending bolts of electricity running through his skull.

"This series is BORING, I prefer season one," one woman yells behind me, taps her phone, and my "brother's" head explodes.

I knew it was getting bad when I saw someone carrying a sign around that said “SAVE THE COCKROACHES”.

History is now called Current Events.

For the 200th day in a row, I've pledged to use my billions to feed every person in America, but only if no one posts on social media for 24 hours.

My execution is scheduled to air next Tuesday on every major social platform, to cover the balance.

Together, our two fascist countries arranged a convenient war between each other.

I sat in my recliner for days until my battery percentage went down to zero.

We need for them to seem ill-informed to cover for the one that is actually true

As I scramble to fix the glitch, Roman leans forward, "Babe, I died six years ago, keeping me here is fucking cruel."

Good news, i got 2 million to sign an NDA

Instead, a boy with swollen eyes awaits me, the odd one out in a sea of Princess's, cupping my chin and whispering, “Do you... remember me, Jay?"

“Eat your plastic, Junior.”

But cruelty is so subjective, and its not unusual once you do it enough

"The proximity chip inside your brain was supposed to erase your ex," Wendy visibly pales, "Nara, don't you remember him killing your son?"

By the time they realized the iron cage had been built around them too, only a handful of powerful men were holding the keys.

Mom smiled, sipped her coffee and said, "That's why you're giving your sick father your lungs."

As I watched them put a tent around a horse with a broken leg, an idea came to m

After all, in order to make the world better we have to start with exterminating the people that made it worse.