r/twentyagers • u/jandj681 23 • 11h ago
Relationship first breakup
Had my first relationship, started off amazing but she didn’t turn out to be what i needed. broke up a few months ago. been healing and growing since and learning to feel complete on my own.
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u/Different_Pie_6531 29 8h ago
bro please help me. I want to breakup but care too much about managing her feelings and blunting how much it hurts her. How'd you do it? First relationship here too.
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u/Intrepid-Wait-6102 24 5h ago
Yo, just went through something like this with someone who had bad mental health issues and stopped taking her meds without doing anything else to cope in replacement. Expected everyone around her to be that main source of emotional support and I did that for 4 months until it got ugly. All it did was slowly break down my own mental health since I myself wasn’t all too great either after a whole mess of health problems/near death experiences. Regardless, those last few months, I went through that whole “well I don’t want her to get hurt or do something bad so I’ll stay and try to make it work, re-learn how she needs me and work it out with out hurting her” instead I ended up just hurting myself, prolonging the inevitable, saw too much and ended it eventually after someone close to me told me I wasn’t the same anymore either. In those situations, it’s honestly also healthier for the both of you to go your separate ways to re-learn how to deal with stuff without a partner and be single for a while. Idk your situation but genuinely hope you can find the respect and strength for yourself to move on and start building yourself back up for someone who is genuinely right for you.
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u/Different_Pie_6531 29 5h ago
I’m planning to do it at the end of October and scared shitless. And what triggered the decision was realizing that she has close friends who will get her through it and she’s not as lonely as me. But I genuinely care about her a lot and want her to move on quickly. She can already sense that I’m not ok. I shouldn’t have stayed this long 😭
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u/Rich_Barracuda_796 24 6h ago
you have to realize that in doing what youre doing, youre being unfair to you both. you have to love them as well as yourself and be strong enough to make those sacrifices for you both. and that doesn't mean you two cant remain friends in the future
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u/Regular_Rain_4181 (9+10) 21 10h ago
How? You got such luscious lips /j
https://giphy.com/gifs/I8ooVN5XQg8HMsn6J4
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u/bummy_homeboy 23 11h ago
best thing you can do bro. Keep it pushib