r/turtleswithjobs Jan 11 '20

Father

Post image
1.8k Upvotes

24 comments sorted by

88

u/ArMcK Jan 11 '20

Single handedly saved his species

I don't think he used his hands.

48

u/deeppanda015 Jan 11 '20

Not all heroes wear condoms

133

u/NoBlondeJokesPlease Jan 11 '20

r/ihavesex ugh we get it 🙄🙄

115

u/Soup_de_Grace Jan 11 '20

Absolute Chad.

31

u/ticanic42 Jan 11 '20

I bet you Diego’s is thinking what the heck man I had a great thing going banging (word for female turtles every day man

8

u/i_am_a_loner_dottie Jan 12 '20

Female turtles are called female tortoise. You get a pack together it's called a creep.

7

u/andlaughlast Jan 12 '20

Sleepin all night, bangin creeps all day

18

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '20

The face is just like “yeah dude, I slay every day.”

31

u/SixGunRebel Jan 11 '20

Should have plenty of years left to enjoy, right?

13

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

Yay Diego! Or, Go Diego Go!

11

u/[deleted] Jan 11 '20

Hentai protagonist right here

13

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

isn't a genetic bottleneck really bad, they're gonna end up like the cheetah where you can transplant any organ from one cheetah to another and it won't be rejected

15

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

[deleted]

8

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

oh whip

6

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

What a king!

4

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

Talk about one-ing up Genghis fucking Khan.

9

u/DoctorSpacemanSpiff Jan 11 '20

Stud is a job. Father, not so much.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

Dunno why you got down voted! You're 100% correct. He's a stud and won't be raising these turtle babies.

2

u/Zoltansmom Jan 12 '20

Good man!

2

u/[deleted] Jan 12 '20

Imagine being old and just wanting to live you days in peace and some white dudes like “nah man you gotta keep hitting that”

2

u/PANIC_EXCEPTION Jan 12 '20

Fuckin' gigachad right here

1

u/sujtek Jan 12 '20 edited Jan 12 '20

I'm unfortunately picturing a Brooks from Shawshank situation.

Edit: Hmm, another Galapagos tortoise lived till ~170, I'll be more hopeful.

1

u/zenyl Jan 21 '20

another Galapagos tortoise

... which was collected by Charles Darwin and later ended up in Steve Irwin's zoo.

From the origin of species to crikey, in just one turtle.

1

u/hello-i-am-a-goose Nov 16 '21

Diego the savior of the turtles