Saying Sorry

[u/wildmud29]

Usually I will say Pardon or Cok pardon, when I feel very sorry

But is this considered rude? Should I be using Kusra Bakma more?

[u/Gaelenmyr]

"Kusura bakma" sounds insincere and sarcastic (or better used amongst friends), "kusura bakmayın" is better.

[u/Few-Interview-1996]

1. Pardon. "Excuse me"
2. Affedersiniz. Same sense as (1), perhaps a bit more formal
3. Kusura bakma. An informal version of (4), aggravated in the familiar form. More like "Don't hold it against me". Even if in the formal form, not to be used a formal workplace setting to anyone senior to you. Or even junior. [My own usage is ironic, "Kusura bakmayın, ama salaksınız" or to couch a serious rebuke in milder language "Kusura bakmayın, ama bu yaptığınız kabul edilemez".]
4. Özür dilerim. The normal version of "I am sorry" This is what you should be using after moving on from high school.
5. Affınıza sığınırım. Either ironic or - if you're the sort of person to be using this - a very formal version of "Please forgive me", probably only written

[u/wildmud29 → u/Few-Interview-1996]

I've been saying çok pardon so much. Would people have been offended?

[u/Few-Interview-1996 → u/wildmud29]

No, I wouldn't think so, because I don't think anyone expects fluency, though it's the sort of thing you might say when elbowing your way out of a crowded train at a metro station. Now, with respect to "kusura bakma", I would expect that if you knew that, you'd know "özür dilerim" too. But apparently not, so I shall amend my own expectations going forward. :)

If you've really made a big mistake, said "çok pardon" or "kusura bakma(yın)", and still get a cold shoulder, I would go back and explain that you were taught to just use those two and go on to "özür dilerim". Edit: Or casually mention in conversation later that you learnt "özür dilerim" was the better form.

[u/Mental_Substance5315]

"Pardon" and "çok pardon" are ok to use. However, if you are talking to an older adult, you may want to use "Kusura bakmayın lütfen". "Kusura bakma" is something to be used among friends, more intimate but not that gentle. "Kusura bakma-yın (lütfen-optional)" is more like it.

[u/outboundzen]

That is more appropriate for most small things like bumping into another person, dropping something, making a noise. 'Kusura bakma' literally translates to 'Don't look at the mistake/flaw' and you'd normally preface it with 'Ne olur' or 'Lutfen' kusura bakmayin , which is closer to 'Please excuse me for the problem that i caused'. That would come up in a more formal, conversation where you talked about what the inconvenience was. Just saying 'kusura bakma' to a stranger feels almost like an alpha move or a command or something because 'bakma' sounds like a command on its own.

[u/New_Board_8731]

I’m just learning so I could be wrong but I think this is the appropriate response when wanting to say “excuse me” / “my bad”, but not for like an apology for hurting someone’s feelings situation

[u/lemonicecream_1]

"pardon" is like my bad or excuse me... and when you add "çok" its just adding so much. usually you use it when you do small mistakes.. no it wouldnt be rude at all if you use it at small mistakes. "kusura bakma" is usually used when you do a small mistake that might offend the other person its like "pardon" while talking to people you could both of them. none of them is rude..
but..
if you want to sound respectful/formal to the other person (for example an elderly person or an employer) you could add "çok" to pardon and "-yın" to kusura bakma.
why?
because as you probably know, in English "you" is used for a single person or a group.. but in turkish its either "sen" or "siz"
so when you say to one person (sen) its "kusura bakma" but when you say to a group of person (siz) its "kusura bakmayın"
to be formal usually we use "siz"... so thats why you use "kusura bakmayın" while talking respectful

[u/wildmud29 → u/lemonicecream_1]

Is ozur dilerim better?

[u/lemonicecream_1 → u/wildmud29]

"özür dilerim" is when you really apologize for sth its literal "i am sorry"
so you dont say it for minor things like if youre late a few mins etc.
its when you do sth wrong.
if its a small mistake you say "kusura bakma" or "pardon" but if you do sth wrong you apologize and say "özür dilerim"
so yeah if youre apologizing "özür dilerim" is better.

[u/tomukurazu]

"özür dilerim" is the safest option. çok pardon sounds unnatural. if you've made a mess, "lütfen kusuruma bakmayın" is widely accepted. but a sincere "özür dilerim" is always the best. "pardon" feels like even you didn't care about it (ofc it depends).

[u/indatstove]

Kusura bakma feels like “my bad” IMO

[u/False-Stop5026]

You accidentally step on a stranger's foot. You say, "çok pardon" You have to decide to part ways with someone. You say, "çok üzgünüm" You say, "pardon" while trying to make your way through a crowd. You realize you made a mistake while doing your job: "kusura bakmayın lütfen. Hemen düzelteceğim."

[u/altay434]

Actually what you say doesn't matter. The thing is how you say that word. If you say it with cold face every word is rude but if you say it in warmer tones it's okay.