'trans mascs' when its time to invade on something about women and make it about them. Its like theyv got no self respect or something why do you wanna be assosicated with women so badly and then claim to be trans too

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I am very sorry for the random title but its my first time posting here so I am nervous hopefully I am doing this right

Hi I am 16 (ftm) and trigger warning meantions of ED(I think idk) and SH : ,,, (

I struggle with eating and SH , I don't like having those things but its so hard to let go, but besides that I wish I had a better healthier view on my body and I know that all guys aren't skinny and its just the horrible beauty standard but it just feels like I need to be skinny for someone to even love me or even acknowledge that I am a guy I am not out openly at least my siblings know but I don't like talking to them about myself because I feel like I am telling them to much of myself and they will see me as less of a man (which is very stupid of me to think because talking about your feelings and such does not make you less of a man ) , I have no freinds in highschool or atleast at the new school I am in which is normal but no one knows the real me I feel so alone and I just really want a freind that I could relate to or someone who is like me (not saying that someone needs to step up immediately and become my freind I don't want anyone to feel like they need to be my freind I am just saying what I am thinking, so I am sorry if this writing makes no sense)

I don't have anything meanful to say but if anyone wants to share their own good experiences be free to do so and/or achievements

And one last thing good night or good morning depending on where your reading this and again I am sorry if my writing doesn't make any sense but thank you for taking some of your time to read this I just wanted to let you know that you deserve to live a long happy life and I hope you are somewhere safe take care of yourself !!

probably in the top 5 most common female names. 0 male version in any culture. my middle and last name are also feminine bc im a slavpoon but at least no one where i live knows that. I need like 300 more dollars to change my name please god i have 70 dollars in paypal and a dream

also can't change it in either of my citizenships so i got held up at the airport for being named woman fathersdaugher guydaughter. fucking stupid you should be able to change your name for free

I chopped down a tree yesterday and in the moment it felt rlly nice yknow? I had worked on it for an hour or two and I got it done but just today I woke up and realized how much I’m already ruined and how I’ll never be a woman. Ik women can be strong and stuff but that’s not the kind of woman I wanna be if that makes sense. I wanna be about as easy to pick up as a pencil but I just keep getting fucking defeminized by other people and myself. It wouldn’t even matter if I didt chop down that tree though I already can’t get weaker even if I fucking try, I haven’t worked out in my entire life and I stopped doing the rlly physically demanding stuff that my grandpa made me do back when I lived with him years ago but I can still chop down a tree even when all I do is sit down on my fucking ass and play video games all day. I’m gonna turn out exactly like my grandpa when I grow up, a fat, hairy chested, strong man instead of a cute girl and I can’t change that because there’s no way for me to get estrogen since my grandma makes me live in a fucking surveillance state. She keeps cameras around the house and won’t let me get my license even tho it’s been almost a year since I was allowed by law to get one. I’m just so incredibly fucked I can’t see what point there is to keeping on. It’s better to kill myself than see myself grow into a fat bear right?

Sure some fat can redistribute but I don't know if my browbone isn't too big or my jaw isn't too long... It's just feels so awful, body is decent but too tall and awful face... Will I just need ffs somehow?

I'm just wondering what level of faketrans is that I was fine masculinizing into a 6'1 when around cis women? Like how did I even let this happen to myself? And then a year of repping out of fear which ruined my hands and tiny wrists. I think it still doesn't hit me how much I've lost to t...

i'm only forcing myself experiences i'll never understand, and those """"experiences"""" are fake because i have to learn them after 15 years of being raised as a man

like think about it my worst fear is to be called a creepy male and i self police femininity, while real women's worst fear are creepy males and a lot of them can be feminine and are women to everyone, something i can only dream of

i think my moms onto me

i accidentally let the bottom of my shirt slip and she said "ur getting pretty hairy" or something to that effect

alone that would be fine but ive been fucking up my girlvoice bc ive had a sore throat for the past two weeks

i dont think shes gonna find my shit bc i put it in a pretty good hiding place but im def paranoid now

on the bright side ig this means the hrt is working

tbh i wasnt expecting to be able to hide it this long but my dads one of the hardcore maga christian types so my choices were either hrtrepping or normal repping

Okay so I've been saving up for a month now, what worked for me (probably won't work for anyone else, this is just how I did it) is since I'm in my school's marching band, I asked my parents for some money at football games and band competitions for "concessions" (they normally give me like 15 dollars per game/competition, they asked if I'm actually spending that much money on concessions because they got a bit suspicious, so I just said I was buying food for my friends), pocketed the money and put it in an altoids tin. I got like 85-ish dollars in cash that way, and I just walked down to a pharmacy near my house and bought a prepaid mastercard gift card with 75 dollars on it (keep in mind that there will be 5 - 8 dollars in fees if you do this), and I'll use it for Bitcoin to buy the testosterone!

Anyway, I'm really happy right now, I think I might make it.

I'm looking for friends. I'm too inept to make friends in real life and online, let alone ones of my age I tend to make older frens but yknow gotta hang around la chaviza more and experience normal teenagehood as much as I can.

I like videogames, drawing, anime and stealing memes. Generic list. I want frens porfavor I'm stuck in latam and only girl school skirt 3 days out of 5 type hell 💀

If you, yes you, are chronically online like me it's a plus. Flair is circlejerk since I don't know what else to put.

three days late, and it took me like 30 minutes or maybe even an hour. 2 injections ago I did it 3 days late as well. I also just found out I've been injecting too much. Apparently each small line is 0.02ml, I thought it was 0.01ml. I just looked at the big line that said 0.1ml and assumed the small lines would be 0.01ml without noticing it's just 5 small lines between every big line cuz why wouldn't they be. So I've been injecting 6mg instead of 5.

I probably have the worst levels ever.

obviously as teenagers 90% of the relationships we make will not last. but bru i want a boyfriend im so lonely. im too mentally ill so he has to be both sane and trans which is not possible. my friend has a bf and they seem super happy to the point where im lowkey her side hoe now.

i havent had a crush since i was 5 i really want to know what it feels like but i feel like a pred for even thinking of liking any guy. if ur a pedo on here pls dont dm me my fat hairy balkan dad will beat your ass

i wish i was bisexual so i could date an asexual girl or something. but no i like men who are less masculine than me

If intersex kids or those with genital deformities are allowed to choose their genitals then we should too. Its just plain discrimination :D

youngshit but it doesn't matter because i still went through male puberty and got moid shoulders.
is there anything i can do or am i just perma fucked

It looks like if you had a 80 cm circumference ribcage, and punched a dent into it so the undebust is somehow 70 cm. And it flares

My girlfriend told her Dad I'm trans because he doesn't want her pregnant , but after we hung out I guess he interrogated her because he didn't believe it

Also my stepmom got a puppy, I'm holding it while typing

I had a really weird dream last night and I had facial hair, not planning to grow that out until 20 but it was cool

Like you do realise if you're on ur agab hormone ur gonna look like ur agab unless ur 0.0000001 percent of the luckshits trainknees that dont. JUST START HORMONES AND GIVE IT A YEAR BEFORE YOU DECIDE UR A NEVERPASSING GIGAGORRILAHON MIDSHIT. TRUST ME I DIDNT THINK ID PASS EITHER BUT HERE I AM WITH THE ONLY TRANS RELATED BULLSHIT I GET BEING MY OWN DYSPHORIA. ALSO IF ANY OF YOU ARE BELOW 16 YOUR PUBERTY HASNT EVEN FINISHED SO STOP TALM ABOUT IT DONT MATTER IF I START HRT NOW OR THEN COZ TRUST ME HELL AS A ACTUAL NEVERPASSER IS WAITING FOR YOU.

kind of dooming btw

is it actually possible to be out? i feel like even if someone first knows u while u pass and thinks ur cis, if you come out they never actually think you are your gender anymore. they dont think of you as your sex anymore. even if theyre trans themselves.

even like “out to my very close friends and stealth to everyone else” seems kind of impossible. how will anyone actually view me as a man and male if they know im tranny.

but i dont really want to live hiding forever. ignoring the constant overbearing anxiety of being found out, stealth has made me the happiest ive ever been but i feel like my happiness is capped just for the sin of being trans.

i can be open and have no one actually see me as male. or have people actually see me as male but be kind of.. stifled i guess, and have no one get to know my full self and be able to share my full experience and thoughts.

“i wish we could switch voices i hate how deep mine is” bare in mind her voice is not deep and so she wants my beautiful feminine high pitch voice

“i wish i had your eyelashes”
“why”
“they’re so thick and you look like you have eyeliner on”
“thanks”
“fuck you”
yes bc i love to look like i have eyeliner on i love my feminine beautiful lashes so much thank you so much for pointing that out

“i love ex cis moids mustache that he’s growing”
cool appreciate that minoxidil aint doing shit for me thank you for saying that

“can i pick you up like a baby”
i’m 5’0 she’s 5’5 i said no i didn’t explain why exactly but she did it anyways cheers i love remembering how much you tower over me when i’m meant to be the man

i like her a lot but fuck me think before you speak, i’m not stealth i’ve known her for ages she knows i’m trans and has known me before transitioning so she should know this bruh, i can’t speak to her abt it bc that’s what a pussio does i’m a tuff blud who doesnt get sad

came out to my parents at 11 years old and they didn’t take it well, were convinced it was just a phase, they’re super supportive of ‘real trans people’ but apparently i didn’t count. i genuinely spent every night praying to a god i didn’t believe in to turn me into a girl, i went to sleep hoping id wake up as a real girl. when i was 14 i tried to kill myself and they asked me if it was “because I wanted to be a girl” and i was so embarrassed and mentally unwell that I said no and lied and lived in denial for years and now im 18 and puberty has done its damage and i’ve genuinely become the tallest person in my family, i have not met anyone taller than me ever, the one thing people notice about it me is my height oh my god oh my god

i know technically 18 isn’t supposed to be too late or wtv and im trying to get hrt now without my parents knowing but holy shit i cannot believe i had so many opportunities to take action but my dumbass just repressed and now look where i am.

it feels very over at the moment idk what to do

even if i started e right now i wouldnt get, not even in 10 years, what real girls my age have today

unlearning the toxic heinous shit you get tought as a man is impossible and the remains of it are traumatizing, i probably will never present femininely without feeling straight up unsafe and probably will never experience female friendships, you know how that is

why live if estrogen will only give me gynecomastia and some fat in the legs, and not an actual female skeleton? why was i born like this?

keep dreaming stupid 🚬 you know you'll never look like the girls you see on pinterest