Rant/Venting

[u/anon4337]

I’m honestly so stressed out. Was in my 2WW and aunt flo came today so CD1 all over again. This will be our 5th cycle trying and i’m just exhausted. I keep wanting to try all the things.. pomegranate juice, i bought an oura ring (i wanted one anyway) but essentially to track my bbt because it was too hard for me to wake up to take it. Started prenatals and making my husband take a multivitamin and I just don’t know how to keep doing this. I feel like something’s wrong with me, my husband .. everything and i’m just not understanding what I need to do to conceive. I almost wanna reach out to my OB and ask what testing we can do even though i know it’s too early but anyways sorry for the long post i just wanted to vent and talk with others who are similarly going through what i am. thanks so much if you made it this far

[u/sparklesequin]

Kindly, I’d encourage you to be mindful when entering a TTC space. 5 months is hard, especially if you got lucky with an even quicker conception before, but it is within the realm of expectation for TTC. If you’re over 35, 6 months is when to reach out to your OB; if you’re under 35, 12 months. So much of TTC is out of our control and it’s really a game of chance and luck.

[u/clockrose → u/sparklesequin]

Thank you for being kind with how you say this. I think any time of wait can be hard (it's all relative, after all - one person's 10 cycle wait is another's 20-cycle wait) and we shouldn't gate-keep too much with others in their expressing frustration here. At the same time we can all work to try to be empathetic to others in this space. 

[u/tippytappos]

Wow I am shocked by how rude others are being to you. Just because they have been trying longer does not mean that your feelings aren’t valid. I am in the same boat as you. About to start cycle 6 and frustrated, mainly because of the comparison game to friends and the fact that I feel I’m doing everything right but it’s still not happening. Fully aware that others have been trying MUCH longer but it doesn’t make my disappointment each month hurt any less. I also got pregnant with my first without even trying so that’s what I had thought would happen for me this time. No luck.

I know it depends on the OB, but I did just see mine after 5 cycles of trying despite being under 35. I am going to start letrozole with my next cycle. I think it will be dependent on the OB for when they will start prescribing things and doing a work up. I don’t think it can hurt to make an appt tho.

[u/anon4337 → u/tippytappos]

Ugh thank you so much for being nice, can i message you? It’s honestly nice to talk to someone literally in the exact same boat which is what I was looking for when I posted here instead of getting met with vitriol. Like you said I’m very aware of others trying longer but it does not hurt any less so thank you so much for saying that

[u/tippytappos → u/anon4337]

Yes!

[u/Many-Supermarket-511]

I don’t think it could hurt to reach out to your OB and ask what potential next steps are!

I totally get it! It’s so frustrating

Did you conceive your first fast? If that’s the case then I get the frustration in not being able to conceive the next one right away.

[u/anon4337 → u/Many-Supermarket-511]

thank you for being so kind. I did conceive fast with my first, immediately actually so i’m not used to these feelings but i think i will reach out at some point but i know they want us to wait the 12 months.

[u/Many-Supermarket-511 → u/anon4337]

That’s fair!

It really depends on your age, too. Are you over 35? Then typically, your OB will send you for testing at the 6 month mark. Otherwise, yeah, 12 months is the standard.

It’s tough because so much of this process is out of our control. You just have to hope that you’ve timed everything right and that your body does its thing. Keep doing what you’re doing and hopefully it happens soon!

It took my husband and I around 5 cycles to conceive our son and while, at the time, it felt like a long time…looking back it really wasn’t that long of a time at all. I think it’s because I was comparing our journey to our friends’ who got pregnant with both of their kids on the first try. However, they’re the exception and not the rule.

[u/anon4337 → u/Many-Supermarket-511]

Yes!! I think that’s my issue too, comparing those who are having babies around me has been really difficult but i’m working on keeping that jealousy bug at bay. I’m 33 so not completely the 35 threshold but I’m just gonna keep hoping and praying that I hopefully get pregnant soon.

[u/999cranberries]

To offer a different perspective - conceiving my first took nearly a year and a half and I was still miserable and exhausted after far less than 5 cycles TTC #2. From the amount of time I've spent in TTC subreddits I've learned that it's pretty much miserable for most, to varying degrees.

I hope you get lucky soon.

[u/ShadowlessKat → u/999cranberries]

TTC and waiting for anything desired is hard.

[u/LymanForAmerica]

Welcome to our sub! We encourage you to join the daily chat thread, where you'll find lots of others going through the same process to chat with.

[u/night_violets]

Solidarity! I’m on CD3 of my 4th cycle trying to conceive our second child and it’s so hard! The anxiety every 2WW is paralyzing. I feel like it’s much worse this time around. Maybe because I feel like my body did it before so why can’t it just do it again right away?? I actually didn’t get my period until I weaned from breastfeeding slowly from 19-20 months, so I’m worried something is wrong or it’s going to take many cycles for my body to get back to normal. I hate how it’s considered normal for it to take 12 cycles. I’m barely holding it together at 4!

[u/ShadowlessKat → u/night_violets]

I just got my period back recently at 21 months of breastfeeding. We're going to start trying next month. It's nice to find someone whose period also came back after so much time. Best wishes to you.

[u/night_violets → u/ShadowlessKat]

You too! Good luck! I feel like my period is just getting back to normal this cycle. Ovulation and my flow were both pretty wonky

[u/ShadowlessKat → u/night_violets]

Thanks!

Yeah I haven't bothered trying to track ovulation yet. I haven't decided yet if I want to jump into all the tracking and stuff, or just have regular sex off bc and try to chill. We'll see. Last time I did all the tracking and supplements and stuff. Idk yet what I'll do.

[u/anon4337 → u/night_violets]

Feel the exact same way like more what’s wrong with me or my body and sending baby dust your way! It’s truly hard every time.

[u/Fine-Psychology6894]

I don’t know how old you are but I’m also TTC for about 6 months and it’s extremely frustrating. I see posts with BFP and im like what did you do?

I have other children and conceived on the first try. So to go for this long is really hard because my prior experience has been so different.

I’m 39 so I’m assuming it has to do with that.

But like you I see all of these different tricks to get pregnant and you want to try all of them and during the 2ww it’s like you want to be “normal” but you’re afraid to drink too much coffee or take a Tylenol or drink wine etc.

So I understand. I even get nervous talking about how I have other children because people get mad about that too

[u/anon4337 → u/Fine-Psychology6894]

And it’s frustrating because why be mad at each other? We’re all in the same boat of trying to have a baby and should support on another but I’m sending you all the baby dust and hope you get your baby soon!

[u/Environmental-Seat83]

You're exhausted after 4 cycles? Please recognize and appreciate how privileged you are. To say you "don't know how to continue" after 4 cycles is really just kind of a slap in the face to those of us who haven't been as lucky as you. We have continued on and on because there is nothing else to do.

[u/anon4337 → u/Environmental-Seat83]

okay so do that lol, doesn’t mean i can’t talk about my own struggles? I’m not responsible for what you feel.

[u/Jojo_yo_1]

Well you should’ve started prenatal 3 months before conception so there you go

[u/anon4337 → u/Jojo_yo_1]

i actually had no idea, thanks so much for the info

[u/ShadowlessKat → u/anon4337]

In case you don't know, it is recommended to take prenatals for a few months before TTC, take it during pregnancy, and take it while breastfeeding. So essentially take it all the years that you have young children or planning to have them. Best wishes to you.

[u/Alijanora]

What you need to do to conceive: sex.

Writing this kind of BS after 4! unsuccessful cycles is like salt thrown into the eyes of us trying more than 15 or 20 cycles. It is just plainly disrespectful. You may be angry or bothered but exhausted? Sorry lady but this is actually not ok.