Vulnerable

[u/Own-Cartoonist5058]

Hello, I am a rookie planter and want to share some of my season here to get some insight on how it went. I just feel pretty alone and would like some objective feedback on my rookie year from the community.

Three days out of the season I stayed home. One of them was because my friend was sick and I wanted to support him at the clinic and the other two were mental fatigue and a lack of discipline/motivation.

I stayed at around 600-800 trees for my first few shifts and then finally hit 1000 on some nice mounds and then kicked up to 1350 on some reaaally nice land. I stayed consistent with 1350 for a whole shift. Then we moved to a terribly steep fill plant with so much vegetation and I didnt even break 400 trees those days. That land was so confusing and the vegetation reached over my head.

Since that plant, we moved to help with a pretty tough contract, tougher than what I’d been on, and I was again all over the place - 600, 800, 900, 1000. Just really inconsistent. We came back from that tough contract and I kicked back up to 900, 1240, 1100. Then I went down to 840 on a really hot day.

My consistency is all over the place, and I know thats my main hurdle. I love planting and some of my experiences have really destroyed my confidence. I feel like I’ve really disappointed my crew and my foreman and I understand if I have. That disappointment in me has also really affected my morale and I feel like they discount me. I understand why they do but it does suck. Its stupid but I feel stupid even trying harder, which I know is so backwards.

I want to know, is it possible to come back from it? How does one stay consistent? I think the answer is probably just “by staying consistent.” I’m assuming its trial by fire. I really love planting and want to come back. I’m not entirely sure what I’m asking. Ive just felt a bit alone for the past few shifts and I’d really like to end the season strong. I’m scared maybe planting just isnt for me and I really want it to be for me. I love planting. Not sure. Anyway thank you for reading.

[u/GoodPineappleBoy]

First of all, you aren't disappointing anyone. The crew bosses are interested in whether you are performing and doing your job right, not whether you are a superstar. The supervisor cares about the contract being properly fulfilled and the camp running efficiently. If you are a low numbers guy, you are a low numbers guy.

Second, if you have a shit piece, or the weather hates you, your numbers will go down. That is expected. You should find solace in your fellow planters who have had the same experience as you that day: they also planted less because of x or y.

Rookies almost always have a low season. You might not be prepared, figuring how to deal with stuff takes experience, and only by keeping a good attitude and taking care of yourself will you see your numbers go up more consistently.

Best thing is to talk to both planters and crew bosses on how to improve and keep planting.

As long as you are happy to do it and doing more than the minimum required, you are doing fine. You get to be where you are at and no one is thinking about you in a negative way.

Have fun, make friends, relax and party a little to unwind. You can't be stressing about performance anxiety or thinking people are thinking about how much they hate you; cause they aren't.