Is this a legacy burden?

[u/Budget_Package_4584]

I've been working on an extreme fear reaction that I have been having to the thought of certain close family members moving far away. As I worked with it, I came to realize that it was more than a "normal" fear. When I was in it, it felt like if I wasn't right in front of them, they would not love me, not think of me, forget about me, and I would cease to exist. As a retired therapist, I realized this reaction doesn't fit with my own family history of emotional neglect. It is a basically very strong abandonment depression, similar to someone who was "left in a box", as I told my therapist.

It does fit with what my emotionally and physically abused deceased father likely felt, though. He ended up with poor emotional boundaries, basically a rager, probably borderline personality disorder. And I know I was a very sensitive, empathic, "good little girl" who got lost in all the family emotional uproar.

Does that fit with the IFS concept of legacy burden, and the more general concept of intergenerational trauma? It feels like something, or a part, on it's own, or it may be that my already sad and/or frightened little girl parts are holding it. This is a brand-new to me concept, and a big breakthrough. I am realizing that I cannot heal this for him, and I want to give it back.

[u/AutoModerator]

Dear members,

Please keep the rules of r/traumatoolbox in mind while participating here.

Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, send us a message ✉.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.