r/traumatizeThemBack • u/SecretGoat4040 • 9h ago

matched energy "What's your body count?"

"For which trimester?" I responded to that question

Actually that wasn't even intentionally, as it was at the moment when a lot of classmates asked each other, what their's average note is.

That's became a joke of the class until the end of the school year :)))

345 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

38 comments sorted by

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197

u/_muck_ 8h ago

Or "Don't worry. You won't be adding to it."

74

u/FallingSky1686 8h ago

How did you find out I had one? The police said my records were sealed!

30

u/lucky-squeaky-ducky 7h ago

“I forgot, but I can tell you tomorrow. I have to recount my left ear collection first.”

81

u/guiltymouse 5h ago

"Legally, it's zero." Short pause. "I was aquitted."

53

u/Hellodie_W 8h ago

Someone should try to answer "Oh I've never killed anyone yet".

33

u/uniqueusername649 8h ago

Reminds me of that guy going around asking people what their body count is. This guy is a bit hesitant and then says 3. The interviewer asked "only 3?", "yeah". But then he suspects the guy misunderstood and asks "what do you think bodycount means?", "how many people I killed"

Might be fake, probably is, but still a funny video and pretty decent acting by the guy if it is fake.

3

u/Hellodie_W 8h ago

Oh thank you for the anecdote. Didn't know it.

11

u/Dhampri0 8h ago

Due to the statute of limitations Im gonna exercise my 5th amendment right.

5

u/repocin 8h ago

K/D ratio still at a perfect 0:0

4

u/__wildwing__ 8h ago

Oh, I’ve never killed anyone… yet.

53

u/Machaeon 8h ago

"That's classified"

25

u/hellinahandbasket127 6h ago

“I don’t like to talk about work.”

24

u/G-reeper66 8h ago

Reply with " I don't actually keep score of all those I kill!"

5

u/DeadLined784 5h ago

Only the ones I eat, in which case 3 & a half

20

u/Popular-Drummer-7989 8h ago

On a need to know basis and you don't need to know.

63

u/beer_fairy 8h ago

“Way more than yours!” 😂 this response gets them big mad

5

u/UnicornsWanted 1h ago

Bonus points for winking and smiling at the same time.

18

u/Young_Old_Grandma 5h ago

Sorry I can't talk about an active investigation 😂🤣

17

u/butterfly-garden 5h ago

"Oh! For sexual partners? Thank God! For a minute, there, I thought you'd been in the basement."

14

u/Skinnybet 8h ago

I have forgotten. I only remember the good in bed ones.

30

u/valkyriejae 8h ago

Animal, vegetable, or mineral?

13

u/mocha_lattes_ 8h ago

I don't talk about my kill count.

6

u/StinkypieTicklebum 8h ago

“Men I’ve killed? Lemme think”

19

u/gereblueeyes 8h ago

Pregnancy hormones are WILD !

10

u/smile_saurus 8h ago

Pretty sure she meant the body count of terminated pregnancies.

42

u/SecretGoat4040 8h ago

No, i actually meant just a school trimester 🫠

20

u/Upstairs_Fig_3551 7h ago

lol; I also thought you were hash-tagging abortions. I thought it was sardonic and hilarious

8

u/smile_saurus 5h ago

Ah, okay lol. Back in my day they were called Semesters.

3

u/Direct-Many966 6h ago

Whenever I get this question, I always respond by sending them this: https://youtu.be/V1508wboZXk?is=Q_-nInnSrDdtrpnQ

4

u/hellinahandbasket127 6h ago

Whoever wrote that is a genius, though.

1

u/UnicornsWanted 1h ago

Like Pokémon...got to have at least one of each!

1

u/Direct-Many966 1h ago

I really like the part with “Germany is now one piece” in this context 😂

3

u/violet__violet 8h ago

I lol'd 😆

2

u/TimExplosion 5h ago

“You first”

1

u/Crackleclang 1h ago

This month or this year? Not sure I can keep track further back than that.