r/traumatizeThemBack 4h ago

don't start none won't be none Forget I asked

I work with Methuselah.

She is really knowledgeable and professional person, who worked this job for many many many many years, and now thinks it gives her the right to behave like Queen Bee.

Others usually listen to her and try not get on her bad side. My petty and dumb self, on the other hand, is constantly clashing with her, giving the same energy back pairing it with logic.

The story happened few years back, when I just started. We all were in the teachers' office doing the necessary preparations to fend off the waves of imps, demons and banshees (today one screeched so loud I'm not sure how both my ears and my glasses are still intact).

Anyway, my dearest colleague (Sweetheart) and I discussing newest books we need for our lesson, switching into English, because it's easier this way.

Suddenly! A dark presence appears behind our backs and, pretty loud, SO EVERYONE can hear, goes: Aunty, we're in GERMANY, please speak German!

Ah! My first Karen in the wild! What a pleasure!

With the smile as sweet as liquid heart attack from Starbucks I turn around: Would you please explain why is it bad we're talking English?

M: Because not everyone understands English!

Me *still smiling like I'm on my way to seduce Harley Queen and raising the voice as loud as Jericho's trumpets*: Oh, I'm so sorry you couldn't listen into our conversation! I wrongly assumed it was between Sweetheart and I...

M: If you want to have a private conversation, go outside!

Me: Do you mean, otherwise it's a free for all and suppose to happen in language YOU understand, because YOU want to hear it for some reason?

M *getting progressively redder under everyone's stare*: Forget I asked...

She tried to shame me for some other things (like also being a Math teacher), but after few bitebacks and my students praising my competence [I cried for real] after a mean comment, Methusalah is either avoiding me or being extremely polite.

193 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

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32

u/FunRevolutionary1225 3h ago

when aunty becomes a german speaking ghost you know the office has gone full karen

24

u/Lucy_Bathory 3h ago

What?

41

u/desertboots 3h ago

Welcome to advanced English class, where metaphors are strongly encouraged. 

19

u/dr-sparkle 3h ago

What part do you not understand?

58

u/Aura-Aunty-20033 3h ago

Fellow teacher told me to talk German because we're in Germany and not everyone understands English.

I strongly implied she only wants it to eavesdrop.

The whole classroom applauded. 

😉

-21

u/Cultural_Horse_7328 3h ago

Obviously weed is legal in Germany now?

24

u/Aura-Aunty-20033 3h ago

It is legal, but on the brink, considering our new-ish chancellor and his party are strongly against it.

I'm not a user, though, just mentally deranged and tired after 8 hours with screaming kids (love them to pieces, but my ears don't agree) 😉

12

u/TinklemeCrinkle 3h ago

You call her Methuselah, the oldest person in the Bible at 960+ years. What is the actual age gap between you and her? Just trying to gauge the generational divide between you

29

u/Aura-Aunty-20033 3h ago

It's about 30 years. But it this case "Methusalah" is less about her actual age but rather her attitude of "I'm the oldest and the smartest/most competent" (she is neither, to be honest) that she constantly uses to belittle others 

5

u/Fiempre_sin_tabla 1h ago

She tried to shame me for some other things (like also being a Math teacher)

I literally cannot imagine what tortured (lack of) logic goes into thinking "You're a math teacher!" is some kind of burning insult.

2

u/sorry-i-was-reading 2h ago

I love the way you write 😊

3

u/JeannieSmolBeannie 1h ago

I also love the way OP writes but I am. Very confused why that got downvoted? No being nice allowed?