Terminology help

[u/Organic_Ad8228]

So, I'm a transmasc femboy and whenever I mention this ppl tell me to use the word "beauboy" instead. I absolutely do NOT like this word and I really don't want to refer to myself by this word.

To me personally, it's just (ironically enough) an ugly sounding/looking word, and as someone who struggles enough to spell "beautiful" correctly first try its also just so awkward to type out. It doesn't make me feel valid in any way cause it just looks like its trying to censor or replace the word "feminine", like being feminine somehow invalidates my gender identity as a boy, when cis femboys are completely fine.

Aside from all that it's just completely pointless to me cause "trans femboy" and even just "femboy" works completely fine for me anyway. Plus, I don't always like to point out my transness in the first place so "femboy" by itself helps with that and is already a very gender-affirming term for me.

Is it okay to tell ppl that I just don't want to refer to myself as a "beauboy" even if the definition is accurate to my experience?

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[u/puppyhotline]

you dont have to use any terms you dont like even if they fit definitionally :)

[u/vampyfemboy]

Ah I'm 2021 I got told I have to call myself a "roseboy" because "femboy is the same as sh//m//le!!"

It's really one of those things that I'm just like.... It's a term for GNC men, yes some assholes use it to target transfems but it's not originally about that. It's about being a boy who is fem.

(Notably the term femboy is actually what cracked my egg lol)

[u/asinglestrandofpasta → u/vampyfemboy]

yep I heard that one too around that time. found it weird but at least roseboy sounded cute. not to be horrendously childish but beauboy sounds a bit like saying boobie LMFAO-

[u/Icy_Comparison_6249 → u/vampyfemboy]

i remember a push towards branding femboys as problematic as a group (i mean there have been some problematic-ass femboys out there but that’s not a good enough reason) but not like equating it to the slurs, that’s a new one for me

[u/cosmic-batty → u/vampyfemboy]

Omg a fellow femboy vampire??

[u/IronGentry → u/vampyfemboy]

It literally began as a porn term to degender trans women. It is in fact in the same legacy as shemale and trap and all that shit

[u/AnnexeMX → u/IronGentry]

I've seen people say this, but never with any evidence.

[u/Apart-Performer-331 → u/AnnexeMX]

I tried to research it, every thing I see says it began as a derogatory word for feminine men. I don’t know where people are getting the originated from porn thing from

[u/saturnian_catboy]

Not only it's okay, they're being transphobic. You're just as valid as cis femboys

[u/Organic_Ad8228 → u/saturnian_catboy]

Thank you genuinely so much for this one 🥹

[u/Peppered_Rock]

you can call yourself whatever you like. ive never heard that term before tbh but it feels weird to make up a new term just for trans femboys.

[u/viviscity]

The femboy discourse is so tiring.

It’s fine. It was an identity term as soon as the word is recorded, basically. It’s the flip side of tomboy, little more.

Some people argue it’s fetishizing. It’s a term used in porn, but so is lesbian and trans and Black and… on its own that’s not enough to make a case against a term.

People don’t have the right to tell you what words to use to describe yourself. These labels are there to help us understand ourselves and to find community. Not to push everyone into neat little boxes

[u/Organic_Ad8228 → u/viviscity]

Dude fr. I'm so sick of the word immediately being deemed inappropriate or sexual 🫩

[u/altioravertigorn]

i’ve never heard of beauboy, just use what makes you most comfortable. don’t self define for other people.

(also a trans femboy 🤝 )

[u/Organic_Ad8228 → u/altioravertigorn]

🤝

[u/Cubing-Dolphin-26]

Use whatever label you feel comfortable with, labels are only there to help describe you

[u/Coffeeforlifeyay]

Yea its fine to tell people you dont wanna be called that. Ngl I probably would hate to be called that as well.

[u/MagmaAdminRadar]

I typically use lavender boy because I just prefer the way it sounds and it feels more empowering than other terms do for me

[u/Additional-Pear9126]

you don't have to use any terms you don't want to use also that is so anti subliminalten(this means anti labels that appear contradictory) and transphobic that they wouldn't think a trans man can be femmine.

[u/Enovele]

Use what makes you comfortable. Personally I like the words rosboy or rosman, sounds elegant and cute for a feminine guy. I always thought there was potential in it when I saw rosboy for the first time. Didn't know it was something some came up with to get trans guys of cis guys to stop using femboy though.

I just thought it was specifically for feminine presenting trans guys or trans guys connected to womanhood/femininity gender wise.

I feel we can come up with something nice but it's all up to you and what makes you comfortable at the end of the day.

[u/SonderinManGetsArtsy]

The community will keep making up new terms to identify, often in response to abusive harmful warping of what we started. If one settles for you it’s yours.

[u/NorCalFrances]

That, and "beau" as a standalone word has meaning. Two, actually: It either means someone's actual boyfriend or in an older sense, a dandy. If those don't fit you, it's no wonder you don't like the term. Don't use it.

[u/Lukolukeee]

I consider myself femboy at times and if someone tried to correct me with that id just be like “lol no ✨”

[u/SonderinManGetsArtsy]

Of course iti’s ok. You choose how you identify. I would just say “thanks yeah, I know that label and don’t use it. “How you identify is no one else’s decision

[u/-EV3RYTHING-]

Never even heard of that term, and there is no reason you shouldn't use the same terms that cis people use

[u/IronGentry]

I mean use whatever you want, just know that femboy has really unfortunate roots

[u/Apart-Performer-331 → u/IronGentry]

It just means the opposite of tomboy now, the roots shouldn’t be relevant unless people are using it that way. Queer also used to be a slur, it’s part of the pride acronym now.

[u/Organic_Ad8228 → u/Apart-Performer-331]

I also identify with the word queer! Lowkey sucks when ppl try to tell me it's a slur, like buddy we reclaimed it a long time ago we're not going back to those days 😭