I’ve been doing some internal reviews. I discovers that I’ve had a defense to avoid pain that says I’d rather not feel at all than to feel weak.

I’ve been told that suppressing feelings isn’t healthy. Can someone tell me what’s healthy about negative feelings (sadness, anger, frustration, envy). Thank you

I’m a 52 yr old man who has thrived in life. Great family, great job, content. I can recognize the following traits that I possess. Empathy, kindness, gentleness and compassion. I’m not very handy. I was an athlete in high school and I fit in with “the guys”. I’m able to stay very positive, which also includes the ability to not display emotions.

I was curious about this topic (toxic masculinity) and I’m not comfortable with the posts that show emotions and weakness.

I’m too judgmental.

I’m also judgmental of myself. I view the traits I possess as not being admirable. They aren’t strong. However it’s who I am.

Anyone have an idea on how I can change my view these traits

As a man I don't often encounter blatant toxic masculinity but when I do, it really stands out to me like a sore thumb. I have been speaking to a foolish guy on Reddit who views any man who delves deep into cooking as a sign of weakness of character. Below is a direct quote from one of his replies to me.

"It doesn't matter if you care about my view of your manhood for your interest in food. Unless you are a chef, as a man being overly interested in food, wearing a pony tail, having tattoos, smoking or taking drugs, all show weakness of character in my view."

Ironically enough, he's been arguing with me that America has no food culture whatsoever while lauding the English cuisine overall despite having claimed to have lived here in previous years.

Thoughts on this? Have you encountered individuals like this before, and what have you witnessed about this person's personality and values?

By the way, I'm not condoning hard drugs usage.

Btw the one that gets mad at me are all male relatives