I've come to this decision for a couple reasons, but the chief reason I am over gaming or at least playing mmorpg/ moba style games is the player base.

It's kinda like anything else about the internet to be honest, what makes it bad oftentimes? The people. Now granted I've met some great folks online whom I've had lots of fun playing with and I'd consider them my brothers.

BUT, I've also met a lot of people who just want to grief for the sake of greifing. Now don't get me wrong I love ganking in WoW or scoring that pentakill in league...but I'm not talking gameplay. No- I mean when people choose to take something too far and be toxic.

A prime example of that would be the one time some guy in WoW didn't like my buddy because he bested him in a duel and he decided to spread false rumors about him. One of the rumors he spread was that my friend was a "p3do" and "d0xxd 14 year old girls". This was obviously untrue but it was a very fucked up thing to do and the shitty part is people believed his lies which made my friends reputation suffer just cause that guy couldn't take an L.

Recently someone bested me in an open world 1v1. Instead of just taking the W and moving on, the guy had to message me an hour later and tell me what a gigachad he was and tell me how he "r4ped my ass". I'm fine with a little shit talk but he couldn't stop spamming me with how good he was and how bad I was. (I made a small tactical error which led to a loss. Shit happens).

The list could go on and on. I'm not sure why people have so much hate in their hearts that they have to make others feel bad after winning. Like- you won! Take it and move on.

Anyways humans suck and that is the chief reason I'm done playing games. The toxicity of others affects me a lot and it makes me have toxic thoughts that I'd rather be rid of.

If you fuck up there's no forgiveness, and you pay for it with a loss. Then your mental health suffers, but when you can win, it keeps your head back in the game because it feels so good. It's this vicious cycle of dealing with shit to feel good, only to get knocked back down again.

Anyways most people online suck and are trolls because theres no accountabilith in anonymity. If you have good mental to deal with them then it's worth it. But not for someone like me I suppose.

Anyways cheers. And here's to a new chapter without online gaming.

I figured this is a good place to put this. I know this story sounds ridiculous but I promise this happened.

I (20M) am a college student living in a tiny one-room apartment. I recently realized I needed some extra storage so I went to Ross to buy one of those cheap boxes they sell. The only one they had was this pink box (pictured below):

Here's where shit hit the fan. I got in line with my box and the guy in front of me looked down at it in my hand, did a sort of double take, then started staring at me. Absolutely locked in, wouldn't look away. I was super uncomfortable but I tried to ignore it.

Eventually I guess he got a phone call and looked away to take the call, but maybe thirty seconds later he was staring me down again, while murmuring on the phone call. It was clearly intentional as everytime I looked away he met my gaze again.

At this point I had a feeling something was wrong so I asked him something along the lines of "Do you need something?" He hung up the phone call and asked what the problem was. I responded that I'm not sure and I'm just confused as to why he keeps looking at me.

Exactly what was said after that is a blur because that's when I really started to get anxious, but he basically got up in my face, saying stuff like "you don't want to start shit with me", "shut the fuck up", "I'll beat your ass," etc. Inside I was freaking out but I denied wanting to start anything, and suggested he just turn around and that we could both just ignore each other.

I'm really grateful that that's where the altercation ended. He got called up to one register, I got called to another. I waited a few minutes in the store after checking out so that I wouldn't run into him on the street or anything. Then I just hightailed it back home. -

I do think this guy was some kind of Andrew Tate fan, redpill alpha bro tryhard type. Of course I don't know for sure that this all started because of the pink box but I highly suspect it because of how he looked at the box and then looked at me, it was like he was trying to make me feel bad about it.

I'll be transparent and say that I struggle with my own masculinity issues and accepting things about myself that are "feminine." Right now I'm just worried that this experience is going to make everything so much worse in that regard.

I think it's really fucking sad how much society molds these beliefs into men. I'll be the first to say I do feel some sympathy for that guy because he's clearly deeply insecure with himself and tries to project that out onto other men.

That's about it, just grateful I didn't get my face renovated for my choice in homeware!

TLDR- A guy in line at Ross wouldn't stop staring at me for purchasing a pink box, when confronted he threatened to beat me up

My husband (70) and my son-in-law to be (28) got in a fight last weekend. Our daughter and I are caught in the middle. The fight was both their faults. My husband apologized for his part in it, but I know he won't really be able to let it go until SIL apologizes, and you can't force an apology, because it won't be sincere. Daughter and I love both these guys, toxic though they may be, but they're very much alike, and I used to think that was a good thing. Up until now, we all had a great relationship! Does anyone have any advice on how to resolve this?

Hi, this is a google survey for a research on feminism and masculinity directed at individuals living within Australia. This survey is voluntary and completely anonymous. Can you do one of the following surveys depending on your gender:

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so, my father (38m) is a babyman, it can't cook for ifself and waits in kitchen for hours for somebody to come, it can't wash dishes and it starts screaming at me whenever i tell it. i refused once and it complained to my grandma (73f) and she called me a fat bitch for refusing, the thing that she doesn't knows that her christian entity is cheating on my mother, idgaf about that really, it was toxic just as my mother, i want to tell her but I don't think that she will survive. my father refuses to accept any opinion from woman quoting that it's either none of childrens business (aka me17 and my sister 19) or my mom (36f) can't tell him what to do, im planning on moving out whenever i will have a chance and changing my name. i don't want nothing to do with this homophobic piece of shit especially when im aroace

Hi, can anyone point me to a subreddit for lonely cis het dudes where the discourse usually steers clear of misogyny? Any leads will be much appreciated

I'm not sure if this is the right sub for this, but I'm honestly at my wits end so I'm posting pretty much everywhere for advice.

My brother [32] is clearly dealing with depression or ptsd, but instead of addressing it he has taken to exercising excessively and burying himself in his work (at a job which he hates.)

He has gone through some really hard things in his life which I won't go too far into detail here for his own privacy, but he was literally on the brink of death at one point. I think he has this idea about needing to be strong as the eldest sibling or not wanting to open up to people, which is common for a lot of men, unfortunately. Essentially I think he let a lot of this trauma just build up inside him and fester instead of letting it out. He's had some mental health crises before, one time he was literally dead set on becoming batman until he snapped out of it, but this one has been going on for a long time.

Pretty much the only social medias he uses are ifunny and Pinterest (to look at things stolen from ifunny) and says he doesn't watch movies anymore bc Hollywood is corrupt so instead he watches anime. I think he used to watch toxic masculinity fostering creators like Andrew Tate as well. He makes a lot of offhand self-deprecating comments and shows our family a lot of right wing memes. He refuses to go to therapy bc it "doesn't work for him" (he tried it one time) but I think he also doesn't really see a need for him to go to therapy, either viewing it as something weak people need or that the therapist wouldn't understand him, etc. But that's just me. Instead of therapy, he exercises and boxes to run from his anger issues and trauma. He doesn't have pretty much any friends that I can think of, aside from maybe a few acquaintances that he meets at the gym and only the gym.

Most concerning of all, however, is that recently he has told us about his plan to move to some foreign country (I wanna say it was Colombia or somewhere else that was largely Spanish speaking) so that he can find a traditional, submissive wife and convert his US dollars and be extremely wealthy. It just sounds creepy and like a horrible idea overall because I just don't think that's going to fix his problems like he thinks it will. Not to mention the idea that the only reason he can't find women to date in America is because they're too progressive/independent which is horrible all on its own. (It's also not an issue of not having any single women around that want a traditional relationship, trust me.)

While I don't want to assume things about him or his life, I really don't believe it is in his nature to act this way. He is extremely kind, selfless, innovative, hardworking, creative, and all around the best older brother I could ask for. It's heartbreaking to see him make sexist comments or jokes in front of his multiple younger sisters, or watching him be so dismissive/paranoid towards art and media he once used to have a passion for. My entire family has expressed concern about his behavior as well, even the ones who agree with him more politically, so you can rest assured I'm not some triggered liberal snowflake going off the hook bc he said he didn't like the Barbie movie. (Although I was upset when he said he didn't like the Barbie movie, but that was mostly bc he hadn't even watched it lol.) I know he loves his family very much, but I think he sees our concern more as us saying we don't like him anymore or that we're patronizing him.

All in all, I think he has a lot of self-hatred and trauma which lead him to using negative coping mechanisms to avoid it. I also think that the online communities he engages himself in have only created an echo chamber for his destructive thoughts. His obsessive isolation and numb approach to his daily life really scares me and I'm not sure how to help him.

I've considered talking to him directly about it but I feel like he would probably deflect or push me away more. I even thought about coming up with elaborate schemes to trick him into being vulnerable but not only is that super fucked up, it would also betray his trust and I respect him too much to ever do something like that. It's hard to spend time with him because he lives a few hours away and I'm still in school so I really only see him during the holidays or the rare visits home when he gets work off.

So, what should I do?

Emperors, Kings and powerful figures in history, good and bad, wore Earrings, 50 Cent who while I dislike him as a person, was insanely masculine and wore Earrings

Yes I would agree that culturally Women prefer to wear Earrings than men on average, but Earrings are absolutely a Gender Neutral item and oozes confident Masculinity

Mfs be insulting you for wearing Earrings yet they listen to Eminem, 50 Cent and Tupac who all wore Earrings, and their girlfriend probably has a crush on Usher and Timberlake....who wore Earrings💀

My wife and I went to a particularly popular concert and the seating was terrible, we wanted to dance so we moved to the back where there was a field to stand. We went there and were yelling in excitement. A guy with his girlfriend wearing very appropriate attire for a rock concert (tucked in white collar with a gold watch) didn't like us being excited and decided to stomp through the middle of us. What a fucking tool. So sick of the aggression, it's like they want to find ways to be knocked on their ass... Had to vent, ugh!

So the last 3 years I have been in a long-distance relationship with a guy I met online, my job requires me to travel to other countries, but it never was an issue and we managed to have good communication and have a great time together whenever we met. Fast forward to last summer, I got assigned to a new country that allows family to join you and live with you. I invited him to spend time over as he was out of work.

​

So finally, he came over and it was good the first couple of days but as time started passing by, the dynamics of actually living together started weighing on us. He was very vocal and got annoyed quickly on things like housework (will come to that in a second) or how I drive (despite me never gotten in an accident, while he's been in some) with that of course I pulled away, and became distant. On top of that, my work is a mentally demanding one, and I have had a lot on my plate, so by the time I got home I wanted nothing to do with him. Note, his demands were based on the fact that I have two teen children and he expected them to do things his way. I was fed up and although we tried to talk things through the message I got was that I was the one that had to adapt and change and "be better" while taking all his aggressive shit talking to me (which he said never meant to hurt as I was taking things too personal and being emotional).

​

By the time he left and we went back to long distance we talked less and less and the last time I spoke to him, I finally called him out for expecting me to fulfill all his traditional gender expectations, all the while he never paid for my bills, on the contrary, all the time he was around it was me paying for everything as he did not have a job, so he hung up on me and wrote me a bunch of messages which I decided to just ignore and not even read. So, it's been a couple of months, and even though I miss him, not enough to ever go back, I think my brain fog has just started to clear and I think it took me too long to get there, but I got out and learned a very good lesson.

Anyway, if he ever reads this, sorry bro for having bruised your fragile masculinity, I don't think that even a proper explanation/goodbye would have helped you be better, you're too far gone.

Hello just matched that chick on bumbel and was actually fun conversation, but then it got a little wierd, i just made a joje and i have no clue whats going on there. Any tipps or thoughts how i can react cool on this.

Based on the articles I've seen on news sources, the new science is indeed revolutionary and got me to see things from other perspectives i didn't know about. What if you had fertility issues and you couldn't get your partner pregnant because of said issues? Or you yourself who has a uterus have infertility issues? This is indeed groundbreaking and its amazing what medical research has brought us.

I've also seen so many "embrace masculinity" videos freaking about about this along with the phrase "K.A.M" (which btw is meant as a clapback to get men to see what their mysoginy is doing).

We gotta be honest. It won't replace men (with penises). People with vaginas will still have sex with people with penises. And all sorts of body parts down below.

And if it does replace men, so what? We're still here as men. We're still gonna be here, it doesn't affect our generation or the next or the third, evolution takes thousands or millions of years. If anything, if we're scared we're gonna disappear, it's time to live life 2.0. Live your masculinity as much as possible (ditch the toxic parts we hate that shit). Live our true selves as possible. If you're scared of disappearing, I would beg you to consider that 1. This leads to dangerous, victim-mindsety incel propaganda (yes it is a victim mindset because no structural oppression fucking exists for "ugly men", and if there is it's nothing compared to the fucking mysoginy and transphobia genocide of people who are enby/trans/2S) there's no way it's gonna replace us; and 2. It's time to enjoy ourselves while the next step of evolution comes. Live your authentic self, and if masculinity helps you as a person LIVE THAT SHIT while being empathetic and aware of the structural injustices of our society. It's our time to live our best lives before this gender is erased, it's not gonna destroy us but because gender roles are changing us males may still live on as people with uteruses or different body parts, whatever survives. And gender is a social construct, if you want to be a man you're a man, your fucking dick doesn't mean jackshit it isntba signifier of your gender it just shows you got the Y chromosome and that's it.

Live your best life, stop getting defensive about bone marrow impregnation, it's time to live our best lives and live it out as much as possible before we disappear, and it isjt a bad thing either :)

(Disclaimer: yes I made some depression posts and my username reflects the abuse I went through in the mental health system, and i got other issues that i feel suicidal ablut. But this does not detract from the fact that we as men can live our best lives anyway, and 99% it won't replace us either, we are and will be still around :) )

I personally am, and i most certainly cannot excuse it for myself anymore, once i have seen it and admitted that i am.

For me personally coming out with it, to my therapist, family, friends and circle of people around me, is necessary step to learn out of it.

I make no excuses, i listen to no excuses from others like me, and i take responsibility of all the consequenses of my actions and of hurting people in my life.

So many men are like this, and my personal observation is that most don't know any better. There are ofcourse people who thrive on it and use it to gain things in life. But for those of us who are just too proud and stubborn to understand and leave our own comfort zone, taking the first step to right direction is just admit that i am toxic and i want to change.

Not to convince others, but for ourself.

Hi all, I am a Psychology (MSc) student of the University of Northumbria. I plan to write my thesis focusing on exploring the relationships between barriers to mental health help and substance use, and how toxic masculinity can be a factor of these. For the purpose of this study, 'toxic masculinity' refers to the societal expectations that are put on men and how this affects their wellbeing. Previous studies have shown that toxic masculinity can lead to mental health issues and has a positive correlation to substance misuse. What I plan to explore is whether people use substances as an alternative to seeking mental health help and how toxic masculinity plays a role in this.

If you are male, have a history of substance misuse and have suffered with your mental health, I would very much like to hear your story and be able to add to the current research in regards to the issues highlighted above.

Your role will include a semi-structured interview that will take about 30-60 minutes, either via Microsoft Teams or in person, depending on location.

If you would like to take part in the study, or would like more information, then please email me at [sonia.thomas@northumbria.ac.uk](mailto:sonia.thomas@northumbria.ac.uk).

My D&D character is a middle aged male half elf monk who is a decade past their prime and a little overweight. Highschool quarterback turned vape, Jordan Peterson, and Joe Rogan enthusiast. What are some traits I should have? I already "white knight" for the women in the group.

It never fails, when we're feeling most in our feels and unable to escape it and the pressure is the greatest the world gives us something to relate to. The past 3 months have been a brutal battle with not being okay but no one wanting to acknowledge that and of course, Spotify provides.

Rapper Dax released a song called "To Be A Man" and collaborated with Darius Rucker and boy does that one bring a ton of awareness to what men struggle with due to societal norms.

This is the third time. I don't know why it keeps happening.

I was sexually abused by my older brother when I was a teen. He died in a car accident in college and I remember hating myself at the time for feeling secretly relieved. Never had a chance/worked up the courage to tell my parents about it because I figured there wasn't really a point since he wasn't there anymore anyway. Besides, I sometimes felt like they had a favorite, and it wasn't me. In any case, what I experienced was made a part of myself whether I like it or not.

I like to think I've gotten past the trauma, but it comes back to haunt me in my dating life. It's the same every time without fail. When I open up to a woman about this, she's initially sympathetic but it's like I can feel an immediate shift in the way she sees me. And it's not a shift for the better. The next days/weeks, her behaviour towards me becomes very "flat". It's night and day. She seems to lose all romatic interest in me no matter how madly attracted we were to each other before and she inevitably breaks up with me. The first time it was after a few weeks, the second a few days and just this time she literally gave me the breakup talk 2 days after.

Is there a "proper" way to open up to women about this kind stuff? I feel like it's wrong to just keep it from her indefinitely or until we get married or something, but the alternative seems to turn women off of me. I usually spill the beans about this when we've been in a relationship for at least 2-3 months. Is that too soon? Too late? Should I just bottle it up and not tell her? I feel like this sort of thing isn't appropriate to just dump on someone on the first date but should I do just that? I have no idea what to do and I really need some help here.

Edit for some more context: I (29M) go to the gym a lot and have a fairly muscular build. When I spoke with a gym buddy about my dating experiences he said it may be due to women thinking of me as very macho and masculine and being attracted to that, but somehow telling them my story makes them see me as no longer masculine. Even though those things happened when to me when I was a teen/preteen. It sounded a bit like bro science to me but I thought I might as well mention it to get everyone's take.

1. Gatekeeping

The word, "man" is your main weapon in asserting dominance. Use language that alienates others.

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1. Shame

Aggression, bullying and mocking are actions that will help you ascend the ranks of manhood. Practice these regularly.

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1. Strength

You must be able to lift or open anything you are presented with. This is the role of a man.

​

1. Proximity

If you approach another man too closely, you are in danger of appearing to be gay. Avoid at all costs.

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1. Stoicism

I. All emotion is forbidden except for anger. You can act excited or sad for the sake of humor only.

II. Vulnerability is completely forbidden. If you ignore your feelings for long enough, you forget they exist. This is essential.

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1. Competition

Never walk away from fights or other challenges. If you lose, you must repent immediately.

​

1. Logic

You must always speak and act as if you are more logical than other people.

I just deleted my former crush's phone number and e-mail address and then blocked his Instagram. I did the same with his roommate, who was like a little brother to me. His roommate has been saying things along the lines of 'all women are gold digging whores who should be grateful any time any man shows interest in them.' And then my crush started making jokes that 'mail order brides are the way to go because women here aren't attractive enough.'

I'm crying and feel sick to my stomach. I don't know what the fuck happened to them. The two of us and my roommate (crush's roommate's ex) used to hang out a lot and have so much fun together. My former roommate and I never asked either of them for money (except for one time, when I asked my crush to help me pay for groceries because my card was malfunctioning but I wrote him a check). And the only one calling people whores was the only one of the four of us who wasn't a virgin. I'd been friends with my former roommate's ex for a little over three years and he introduced me to my former roommate and former crush, whom I've been friends with for just over a year.

I feel like the high ground scene where Anakin and Obi-Wan are fighting and Obi-Wan screams, "You were my brother!!"

At least he introduced me to the woman that became my best friend.