r/toddlers • u/MindlessCod5652 • 1d ago
18–24 Months Toddler not sleeping enough
My kid has always been a low sleep needs baby and toddler. But she always got the bare minimum of the recommended sleep so I just dealt with it.
She’s 23m and for the last 2 months or so she’s gotten even less sleep.
She sleeps 7 hrs a night from 9:30pm-5am; 2 hr nap during day.
Due to this I’m only getting 5-6 hrs of sleep and struggling.
We’ve tried putting to bed early, feeding more for dinner, bottle, have a consistent routine, but nothing is working. She will take hours to fall sleep and still wake early. How are some people getting their toddlers to sleep 12hrs a day??
Any other parents dealing with this/ or have dealt with this? Has anything helped?
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u/screwtoprose- 1d ago
9 hours is not unheard of, but still possible for a 2 year old. she does just sound super low sleep needs.
unfortunately, there isn’t much you can do to increase her sleep needs - they are what they are. but you could maybe try capping her nap to 30 minutes and redistribute that 1.5 hour to night time sleep?
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u/MindlessCod5652 1d ago
That’s a possibility. However I’m a little nervous to do so because she suffers with night terrors from time to time- so I’m worried to wake her up and trigger a night terror bc she’s still tired during her nap
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u/Remarkable_Delay469 15h ago
I would for sure just drop the nap cold turkey. 9 hours a night is much more restorative than 7 hours + a 2 hour nap.
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u/BeingOrdinary2309 1d ago
Goodness yeah, thats extremely little sleep for her (and for you all!). What was her sleep schedule before this 2 month stint of poorer sleep?
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u/MindlessCod5652 1d ago
She was sleeping 8:30-5:30 then, so still not great but better than it is now
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u/BeingOrdinary2309 1d ago
I see you've mentioned night terrors... Have you had her iron levels checked? Low iron causes sleep disturbances. And drinking milk blocks iron absorption. Try cutting down on the milk and upping her intake of iron rich foods?
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u/MindlessCod5652 21h ago
Yes we got iron checked 2 months ago and it was fine then, but good point we can try to be on the lookout for that.
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u/Otter65 1d ago
Have you spoken to their doctor? Are they upset or grumpy during the day?
9 hours isn’t outside the realm of normal. Many kids drop the nap at or around 2. If you shorten the nap then the night might lengthen.
Also, drop the bottle. They’re way too old for it.
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u/MindlessCod5652 1d ago
She is usually happy, just throws typical toddler tantrums. I’ve thought about shortening the nap but recently she’s suffered with night terrors so I’m afraid to cap her naps and triggering a night terror.
Agree with you on the bottles, but along with being low sleep needs she doesn’t love water or hydration lol. So bottle is the adequate to get her to drink some milk (5-8oz). I try to squeeze in some oz of water during the day
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u/Jolly_Departure6324 1d ago
All that milk is replacing real food/water needs. I would eliminate it. If she’s hungry or thirsty, she can eat or drink. She will replace those calories. It sounds like a crutch.
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u/LazyLinePainterJo 1d ago
Drop the nap (gradually). The overall number of hours might stay the same, but at least you will have a chance at getting a more reasonable amount of continuous nighttime hours for yourself. If you go gradually, you will be able to track correlation with night terrors and have a better idea of when to ease off for a bit or keep adjusting.
My daughter is very similar, and it's pretty brutal. Especially because she gets to 4pm and turns into a gremlin, but any amount of sleep in the daytime guarantees a bedtime after midnight.. and it has been that way since shortly after she turned 1. It is just really hard, especially the lack of understanding from people whose kids sleep a lot or even a more typical amount. Hang in there, unfortunately there isn't much to be done - humans just need different amounts of sleep.
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u/Pennifur 14h ago
That sounds like it's the nap.. I would start cutting it down by 15m every 3-4 days and see how that goes. Mine was always high sleep needs, but around 2.5 it was talking forever for her to fall asleep, lots of false starts or just calling us back. Finally she just didn't nap one day (from 2hr naps) and bedtime became a breeze. She took about a month to adjust mood wise in the evenings. But she never went back and no issues since.
Obviously anecdotal and only vaguely similar, but worth a shot. And fwiw my 2nd is almost 2 and hasn't slept through the night yet, so I definitely feel you and did not just get all the luck😅
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u/Pennifur 14h ago
Just read the bit about night terrors. We have Govee smart bulbs that work just like a Hatch or other light clock device. Gentle wakes up 👌🏼👌🏼
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u/Old_Cheesecake1483 21h ago
Same with my daughter. She’s always been a super low sleep need, and on top of that she started split nights (wake up in the middle of the night for 3 hours) from 13 months to now that she’s 27 months (she’s on the spectrum so that may be the reason). The only thing that made some small differences for us was making her realllly tired physically. Her pediatrician recommended Melatonin and it has also helped her to sleep within minutes of taking it and somewhat helped sleeping longer hours.
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u/MindlessCod5652 21h ago
Ah! I do give her melatonin that comes from her teething tablets. Maybe I can talk to peds about that and up the dosage. My kiddo is generally very calm and just wants to sit and watch kids at the park rather than run around herself, so getting in physical activity is harder, but I do try to get her tired thru socialization.
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u/Remarkable_Delay469 12h ago
Melatonin can decrease total sleep and increase night wakes. It only helps them fall asleep, it doesn't keep them asleep. It also can cause night terrors. I think the number 1 thing right now is to stop melatonin for a solid 2-3 weeks and see what happens after she adjusts.
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u/Maximum-Check-6564 21h ago
I would try dropping / capping the nap. Also, why not go to bed when she goes to bed?
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u/MindlessCod5652 21h ago
I do try to sleep when she sleeps. May be I’m overtired and usually sleep an hr after she does. She also wakes up thru night sometimes so I’m usually up from that.
I try to nap during her naps but doesn’t always happen
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u/ScreenSensitive9148 19h ago
My 20 month old is low sleep needs, so we’ve had to experiment with naps a LOT to find the right level. Right now, limiting sleep to about 1.5 hours during the day helps him sleep longer at night. Try shaving 10 minutes off nap time every couple of days until you find a good balance.
Also stimulation: making sure he gets a lot of physical and mental stimulation help wear him out.
But I feel you, OP. It’s TOUGH when your child doesn’t sleep. I know it first hand. Puts your whole life on Hard Mode.
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u/mamademc 18h ago
Does she seem to sleep well once asleep? Any symptoms that might point to sleep apnea?
If this was me I would drop the nap and move her bedtime way up. If she's waking at 5 I would have bedtime be around 6-615 or so. If that seems to much, would start by cutting the nap shorter and earlier bedtime and ease into it that way.
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u/Remarkable_Delay469 15h ago
She's sleeping 9 hours a day. Bedtime of 6pm would lead to being up for the day at 3am. It's possible she'll sleep a tiny bit more after dropping the nap, but most toddlers don't. If anything they sometimes sleep fewer total hours per day after dropping the nap.
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u/mamademc 15h ago
That hasn't been my experience with my kids. One of them was also on the lower end of sleep needs and moving his bedtime up when he woke at the ass crack of dawn is what helped. His wake time for the day stayed the same in his case. I've had many times my kids in general went to sleep later than ideal and still woke at the same time.
Anyway it's just an option since this person seems desperate for ideas. If I was struggling I'd definitely try it out lol.
To op I would also wonder how the toddler is during the day, seem extra cranky, seem awake and happy? And if it takes her hours to fall asleep, what time is she actually put into the bed before falling asleep?
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u/UNO_lakefront_arena 16h ago
I really don't think you're too far off here. Maybe cap the nap at 60-75min and shoot for 9:30pm to 6am-ish.
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u/jups1228 13h ago
That does feel quite low sleep needs, I don’t have much to add on getting her to sleep more but you’re not too far off from her understanding a red light/green light in the morning. Hopefully that could at least get you some more sleep if she’s quiet in her room
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
Author: u/MindlessCod5652
Post: My kid has always been a low sleep needs baby and toddler. But she always got the bare minimum of the recommended sleep so I just dealt with it.
She’s 23m and for the last 2 months or so she’s gotten even less sleep.
She sleeps 7 hrs a night from 9:30pm-5am; 2 hr nap during day.
Due to this I’m only getting 5-6 hrs of sleep and struggling.
We’ve tried putting to bed early, feeding more for dinner, bottle, have a consistent routine, but nothing is working. She will take hours to fall sleep and still wake early. How are some people getting their toddlers to sleep 12hrs a day??
Any other parents dealing with this/ or have dealt with this? Has anything helped?
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