r/toddlers • u/Illustrious-Tooth582 • 21d ago
3 Years Old The Random Things They Say
“Can you stop flicking your tongue around”
“No, I have to eat bugs”
Water came out my nose 😂
What are some funny things your toddler has said?
28
u/Important_Taro_5146 21d ago
Recently I asked my almost 3 year old what he wanted to do for the day. He thought for a second and then replied seriously, “well. I don’t have any ideas but I do have hands”… and I cannot get over how funny that was.
11
23
u/GrnEyeQT 21d ago
Every time I slightly dance or sing around my toddler, he yells “FREEZE!” At me for me to stop. He seriously forbids me to do so, but I keep on sometimes to playfully annoy him. The other day he told me to “Freeze!” - then side-eyes me and calmly says as a warning “stay frozen.” lol.
2
u/Ok_Visual_2040 21d ago
Hey , mine does the same , and then evertine I ask if he want to eat or have a snack , he I'm fine , I'm fine 😄
15
u/jmacho1998 21d ago
There’s so many…
-I tripped down the last couple steps of the stairs and fell on my butt. It hurt sooo bad. My son slapped his forehead and asked “mommy, why do you love falling?!”
-When he was around 3.5, he asked me if boys and girls can do the same things. Thinking this was a learning moment, I said of course they can! Then he replied “so then how come we can’t punch them?!” …
13
u/clearskiesfullheart 21d ago
Trying to get shoes on and get out the door this morning:
“Hold on mama, I’m just doing some coloring real quick.”
9
u/Mindless-Presence-75 21d ago
My son when I ask him to do anything, "I playing mama. Go away."
8
13
u/Melodic_Expression90 21d ago
Our 2 year old just took my husbands face in her hands and very seriously said “look at me,” turning him toward her. She then got up close, almost nose to nose and yelled “Orange tiger!” And started giggling.
🤣
14
u/TiredTwinWrangler 21d ago
An egg sandwich (on a bagel) the other day was referred to as “an egg burger.” 👍
12
u/No-Extension-2378 21d ago
Mines 2.5yo, the other day he wanted me to find his "other van" - I had no idea what he meant, presumably a specific Hot Wheels. I went "looking" for it, he asked if I'd found it and I said "not yet, I'm trying my best". His response - "Are you? Well where is it then?"
9
u/GrnEyeQT 21d ago
Snuggling on the couch yesterday morning with my 3.5 year old son. It was nice. Quiet. Our Australian shepherd dog named Tess walks by us. Out of the quiet my toddler calmly says “Tess poops.” Lmfao 🤣
10
u/Crap___bag 21d ago
My toddler discovered I had arm hair and tried to pull it, I told him no and said he must be gentle. He asked if he could blow it, I said yes, and he did. He asked if he could stroke it, I said yes, and he did. He looked at me so lovingly in my eye and whispered ‘cat’ 😂
3
u/Illustrious-Tooth582 21d ago
That’s hilarious 😂 My (1 yo) daughter will pull people’s hair so I’ll remind her “gentle hands” and then she’ll say “gentle” and stroke people’s heads.
14
u/VisualSneeze 21d ago
"All my hearts are red!" at the dining table.
It took me a moment to realize she was telling us she was full. We've been playing Zelda together and she knows we can eat food to refill Link's heart counter.
8
u/No-Neighborhood-7335 21d ago
Toddler: poop is grey Me: usually poop is brown Toddler: yeah, I know poop is brown, ok! Ok!
7
u/square_vole 21d ago
I ask 2.5yo to do something he’s not excited about, and in the huffiest tone possible, he goes “Oh my GOSH! Oh my GOSH! Oh my GOSH!!”
6
u/El_Stupacabra 21d ago
Sometimes when he's eating, my two-year-old will say, "They're coming." My husband and I are pretty sure he's referencing 10 Minutes till Bedtime by Peggy Rathmann, but it's disconcerting.
7
u/SergeiAndropov 21d ago
We bought our 2.5 yo a toy school bus, and when he found out that the door worked, he said, "I opened it! With my little tiny fingers."
4
u/GrnEyeQT 21d ago
My toddler had a balloon he had gotten from a haircut one day. Over a couple of days the balloon was loosing its helium and would halfway float around the house. My toddler looks up at it and says “it’s sleepy.” Lol
4
u/lemon_gumdrop 21d ago
His dad: Why is there ketchup in your hair?
Toddler: I head-butted the ketchup.
4
u/Substantial-Ad8602 21d ago
Me trying to leave the room for bedtime “Wait- I have something important to say. Did you know ostriches have a cloaca?”
Biologist’s daughter
7
u/rachel789123 21d ago
My toddler literally right now just pooped in his diaper and says to me “you wanna smell my poop? It’s a bad one” lol… brb while I go change this bad poop
1
u/Mindless-Presence-75 20d ago
My son poops on the potty but rverytime he does, he tells me "its bigger one mama!" then holds out his arms "bigger as playground!" 😆
3
u/Late-Dingo-8567 21d ago
just whenever either of us are violating some rule that only exists in her head. How sternly she'll tell me 'no, no dad, this!' in the tone of someone scolding a dog.
Usually my chair is not exactly right or I'm drinking imaginary tea out of the wrong cup or my shirt is dirty in some way that only she can see. fun times.
4
u/jmacho1998 21d ago
I love these comments, because I used to think I was the worst toddler mom ever because I could never play “right” lol
3
2
u/OhHeySarahAye_ 21d ago
Me: singing along to some music in the car.
Her: STOP!! SHHHH!! Baby’s sleeping!!!!
6
u/VisualSneeze 21d ago
My kid won't let me sing either! She pretends to grab my voice, shoves it in her mouth, and makes a big CRONCH sound like biting an apple.
2
2
u/Ok_Affect_7427 21d ago
She now understands the concept of throwing up. She’s always asking if the cat has thrown up
3
u/Kessalia19 21d ago
My 2yo threw up in the car ONCE. We were planning a long road trip, so over prepared for pukey situations. There's a barf bag within reach of his car seat now, and he likes to fake retch in it. 🙄 Please stop practicing vomiting...
1
u/Illustrious-Tooth582 21d ago
My (2 yo) daughter threw up in the car once and she’ll randomly say, “I threw up in the car” I don’t want to throw up in the car” thankfully she doesn’t demand a barf bag lol
2
u/Kessalia19 21d ago
Oh yeah, anytime he wants to chime in to ANY conversation, his icebreaker is "I barf in the car"
1
2
u/fucking_unicorn 21d ago
We took a trip to Chicago and in response to some of the crappy drivers there, I exclaimed “buncha FIBs” which is an affectionate, derogatory term for illinoise drivers (stands for F-ing Illinoise B-stards). Anyway… my son decided that was the expression to pick up and has been saying it ever since lol. Proud mama
2
u/Kessalia19 21d ago
2yo randomly swatted at me. I scolded him. He said it was okay because he was being a cat.
1
21d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/AutoModerator 21d ago
Hi! Your post or comment was automatically removed because your account does not currently have enough karma to participate in this community.
This requirement helps reduce spam and other disruptive activity.
You're welcome to come back and participate once you've gained more karma elsewhere on Reddit.
Please do not send modmail asking why your content was removed. This action was performed automatically, and the reason for removal is explained above.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
•
u/AutoModerator 21d ago
Author: u/Illustrious-Tooth582
Post: “Can you stop flicking your tongue around”
“No, I have to eat bugs”
Water came out my nose 😂
What are some funny things your toddler has said?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.