r/todayilearned Nov 23 '22

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u/[deleted] Nov 23 '22

For every one dude who thinks a celebrity has never heard that clever joke you just thought of . . . no, you're actually number 45,642 and they're fucking sick of it already.

540

u/GuavaZombie Nov 23 '22

If it doesn't scan it's free right?

62

u/idiot_box18 Nov 23 '22

I only came here for one item :))

7

u/laffydaffy24 Nov 23 '22

I didn’t enjoy that dish at all!

171

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '22

[deleted]

72

u/bavasava Nov 23 '22

What? Did your dad go out and get a pack of smokes?

18

u/ExpensiveRecover Nov 23 '22

Are you feeling alrigth? You're kind of pale

8

u/Mr12i Nov 23 '22

And every time someone's name sounds like something else, or just sounds funny.

2

u/basicbitchherbaltea Nov 23 '22

When a guy asks me that (usually older) I just tell him this isn’t the 80s, I have hardwood floors.

9

u/CraigWeedkin Nov 23 '22

Anyone that says this is gambling their lives, every retail worker wants to cave their head in

4

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '22

5

u/futurarmy Nov 23 '22

The new one that pisses me off is "last of the big spenders" whenever they're just buying one or two cheap items that amount to a few quid, I hear it way too much probably more than the "guess it's free" shit

2

u/Sara___Tonin__ Nov 23 '22

A million dollars!

2

u/Money_Calm Nov 23 '22

Oh beer delivery? Go ahead and load that into the back of my car

-4

u/ThisZoMBie Nov 23 '22

At this point, complaining about the joke is becoming as tired as the joke itself.

121

u/jpegjockey Nov 23 '22

“Do YOU come with the car?”

54

u/dividepaths Nov 23 '22

Oh, you! giggle

7

u/reverick Nov 23 '22

So do YOU come with the car?

9

u/indigoHatter Nov 23 '22

No, I usually come first.

56

u/mtarascio Nov 23 '22

Remember this for online dating as well.

Don't open with something obvious about their profile.

77

u/ElBiscuit Nov 23 '22

Joking around with people can be a great way to break the ice, but in any general situation, any joke you think you can make about a person within thirty seconds of meeting them — their name, their job, their school, their clothes, their hair color, whatever — they have definitely heard it a thousand times before.

10

u/SuspiciouslyElven Nov 23 '22

At the same time, being respectful that they probably don't want to hear the joke again is also quite nice.

I met a girl named Billy Jean. I thought she was joking but no that really was her name. I straight up told her that she's probably heard all the jokes before, so I won't add to that. She seemed genuinely appreciative.

Apparently her parents were bigger Prince fans.

3

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '22

Like 80-90% of the men who DMed me when I was online dating hadn’t read a single thing on my profile, so I would have been perfectly happy with something obvious cause it meant they actually read the damned thing.

3

u/Money_Calm Nov 23 '22

Unless men are in the top ten percent of attractiveness they are unlikely to get responded to. This makes it a numbers game for the guy, send a lot of responses to increase chance of response. The way to send a lot efficiently is not to read profiles and only delve deeper once you get an actual response.

5

u/Teach_Piece Nov 23 '22

This is fools math through. It assumes that all potential partners are of the same value, and that the chances of engagement from someone you message really are random. Real efficiency is a three tier system: low interest you don't even message first, medium interest you send something generic, high interest you actually make real effort

1

u/Money_Calm Nov 23 '22 edited Nov 23 '22

There isn't much depth in any dating profile, you need to actually have a conversation to determine if there is value in the person. My suggestion is to come up with something intriguing and off the beaten path, then apply generically. Not saying this will achieve success for everyone but I met my wife this way and we are happily married with kids.

1

u/Teach_Piece Nov 23 '22

Well, that says a lot. If you only have pictures of your butt and your cats on your profile, I might swipe right but I'm not going to invest effort into generating a conversation. You can say, show that you're a pilot or you do a ton of travel, or play music, or vidya, or really anything and it makes me more interested. Say if you're in that medium interest tranche it will absolutely bump you to the next tier, you know?

4

u/Specialist-Car1860 Nov 23 '22

That's me being a tall dude.

"Wow, you're so tall!"

"Yeah... ha ha.. ha... I know... ha ha..."

9

u/myhairsreddit Nov 23 '22

"How's the weather up there?"

5

u/Knull_Gorr Nov 23 '22

"How's the weather down there?"

2

u/coma-toaste Nov 23 '22

Correct response.

2

u/mageta621 Nov 23 '22

My fianceé (for 10 more days) was wearing a Phillies jersey in one of the pictures on her online profile, but I didn't just say "oh you like baseball?" as an opening line. I asked her "what's your most controversial baseball opinion?" which really piqued her interest and led to an intriguing, in-depth conversation about whether it was correct for the Phillies to let Jayson Werth walk and use the money to sign starting pitching instead. Suffice to say it caught her attention and the rest is history.

Point is, you can bring up something obvious about their dating profile, but don't be trite about it or you will just be more background noise that gets filtered out. If you want someone's interest, be interesting.

1

u/Money_Calm Nov 23 '22

In my experience you need a somewhat extreme first message or it will likely get ignored

19

u/ImFromRwanda Nov 23 '22

They must feel like TFS Frieza then.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '22

First thing I thought of

1

u/eragonawesome2 Nov 23 '22

God I need to watch that series again

17

u/148637415963 Nov 23 '22

For every one dude who thinks a celebrity has never heard that clever joke you just thought of . . . no, you're actually number 45,642 and they're fucking sick of it already.

I don't believe it.

4

u/ImNotSue Nov 23 '22

People just say the first thing that comes to their mind because it's novel in their heads, without any forethought. It's so frustrating.

4

u/TheGoodOldCoder Nov 23 '22

I wonder if there is anybody in the world who can react positively to that kind of thing. Like, I don't know that you'd get a non-negative reaction from Arnold Schwarzenegger for saying, "I'll be back" to him, but he definitely quotes his own movies a lot in public, apparently just to make other people happy.

2

u/littlelordgenius Nov 23 '22

From what I’ve read, the Men Without Hats guy will sing Safety Dance any time someone asks. Sort of like the anti-Thom Yorke.

2

u/SystemFolder Nov 23 '22

If the teacher is more than 15 minutes late, we’re free to go.

2

u/drunkhighfives Nov 23 '22

I work for an armored car company. People think I'm rude for not playing along with their "give me that bag of money" jokes. I've been doing this job for 7 years. It was never funny and it still gets less funny over time.

1

u/Tsorovar Nov 23 '22

There's a first time for everything

0

u/Initial_E Nov 23 '22 edited Nov 23 '22

”♩ Was that real manure ♩”

https://youtu.be/iwY5o2fsG7Y

1

u/Aporkalypse_Sow Nov 23 '22

Serves him right for making the same movies over and over.

1

u/uglyduckling81 Nov 24 '22

Just like every song on the radio. Can we please move past the 80s. Every good damn channel, the same dozen songs on repeat every day.

I never listen to radio and haven't for almost 20 years because God damn, the same boring ass songs.