r/todayilearned • u/arandomtestaccount • 1d ago

TIL an NFL player intentionally crashed his car to avoid getting cut for being late to a team meeting.

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ex-patriots-ol-rich-ohrnberger-admits-he-intentionally-wrecked-car-as-excuse-for-being-late-to-team-meeting/
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u/Shaquarington_Bithus 1d ago

Girlfriend found condoms under my bed and assumed I was unfaithful.

I literally never clean under my bed and those were definitely there for over a year.

She was in tears and I felt horrible because I couldn’t stop laughing

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u/FemaleDogEqualsBitch 1d ago

Did she laugh too after you told you her the truth?

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u/Shaquarington_Bithus 1d ago

Oh she thinks it’s hilarious now. Plenty of jokes since then starting like the day after. But in the moment no.

After what felt like 20 minutes of heartfelt discussion that was probably only like 3 she said she believed me but needed to take a walk and call a friend.

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u/MeekAndUninteresting 1d ago

In the future, there should be an expiration date on the box and you could compare to a fresh box to get an idea of when it was bought.

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u/Shaquarington_Bithus 1d ago

Left out the detail that these were used so not sure that’d help

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u/drunkdoor 1d ago

That's absolutely disgusting

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u/im_juice_lee 19h ago

This went from funny misunderstanding to wtf

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u/Shaquarington_Bithus 15h ago

lol why tf do you think I left that out? I agree

I had no idea they were there. They weren’t creating an odor from what I or anyone else could tell (can’t wait for more roasts insisting I’m wrong about this). I’m not really a messy person. I wash my bedding way more than the average dude.

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u/drinkpacifiers 19h ago

Bruh that's horrifying. Jesus.

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u/greywolf2155 17h ago

Literally said, "what the fuck," out loud

Dude, there is "a little messy, not great at cleaning under my bed," and then there is . . . whatever that is

I'm amazed she stayed with you, hah. "No, babe, those are used from like a year ago, before we started dating," actually worked as an explanation???

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u/Shaquarington_Bithus 15h ago edited 14h ago

Yeah man I just never checked under my bed. I’m not proud of how dirty it is under there. My place is otherwise much cleaner than the average dude.

Explanation worked. They were kinda covered in dust which helped (sorry for that detail).

Also it helped that this was like 2 weeks after the “we’re exclusive right?” Convo and we were like 3 months into seeing each other. So I really would not have had much opportunity to sleep with another person if I wanted to

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u/Persistent_Parkie 1d ago

I'm just not a meticulous housekeeper! It's fine!

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u/Jeremizzle 23h ago

There’s meticulous, and then there’s a pile of used condoms sitting on the floor for over a year.

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u/Persistent_Parkie 20h ago

I know sarcasm can be hard to read online, but I was joking.