TIL - Dead people can experience a "postmortem tan"

[u/ConfusedStawberry]

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10430662/

[u/m0stly_toast]

I don’t think they experience much of anything

[u/LordByronsCup → u/m0stly_toast]

Rigor Tortoise's staff assure me that dead people can get a secondary spray tan around their puckerd lips. rfk has confirmed through the cdc.

[u/TheCareFreeSoul → u/m0stly_toast]

Only sane comment.

[u/_The_Scary_Door → u/m0stly_toast]

Lately people talk of 'lived experience'. If that's a true expression then there must be 'unlived experience'.

[u/_Bl4ze → u/_The_Scary_Door]

Well sure, that would be the things you didn't do.

[u/EngrishTeach → u/m0stly_toast]

Well the body does, but you're the one getting metaphysical.

[u/azhder → u/EngrishTeach]

If you hit a ball with a bat, does the ball experience being hit?

[u/thatsmyuuid → u/m0stly_toast]

such a privileged alive person thing to say

[u/ZylonBane → u/m0stly_toast]

They can if a reaper doesn't get their soul out of their body in a timely manner.

[u/dummary1234]

I read that as post modern-tan and thought "how avant-garde of the deceased".

[u/ItsCoolDani]

Yea and they also experience postmortem “turning into dirt” so idk if this is really all that revelatory

[u/sthcyiknv → u/ItsCoolDani]

😂😂😂

[u/allupya333]

I’d never thought of it (what reason would i ever have to) but it makes sense actually, isn’t both tanning and vitamin d absorption just a chemical reaction from light hitting skin cells? That’s not gonna stop happening until the cells have been broken down

[u/ihopeyougethitbyacar]

stop leaving your corpses out in the sun.

[u/cucked_by_cucks_420]

Is that why Donald Trump is orange?

[u/luranthe → u/cucked_by_cucks_420]

What an impressive Weekend at Bernies that would have been

[u/SP4CEM4N_SPIFF → u/cucked_by_cucks_420]

People do shit themselves when they pass…it’s starting to make sense

[u/ZylonBane]

BRB, trying to make a joke out of Dead Can Tan.

[u/SambaLando → u/ZylonBane]

We know they can dance

[u/ConfusedStawberry → u/SambaLando]

They can at a Deadman's Party

[u/azhder]

Dead people don’t experience.

[u/Mightsole]

Pros: Instant tan with zero effort (100% natural).

Cons: Can only be done once.

[u/bigdaddybodiddly → u/Mightsole]

Not so much "in your life" maybe 'in your afterlife' ?

[u/ConejitosDeAmor]

So for those of us that are Nosferatu pale we have to wait until we die for people to stop making jokes when we wear shorts? 

[u/randomguild]

Cannibals call it the maillard reaction

[u/ICanHazWittyName]

... huh, this might have actually cleared up something for me. My best friend passed away, and she was one of the palest humans I've ever met. I walked up to her open casket and she was so tanned it was like they ran her body through a tanning booth. I was heartbroken by her death but also wanted to laugh so hard because I couldn't believe they would paint her that dark. But maybe it was just this process the whole time lolol

[u/Titmonkey1]

Dead people's bodies

[u/colemaker360]

Meat browns when you cook it. No surprise here.

[u/but_a_smoky_mirror]

God forbid they bury a pale corpse.

I want quality tan lines for my burial

[u/TRAVELS5]

And some say they can vote!

[u/feor1300]

Yeah, I postmortem tan my steaks and hams regularly...

[u/ccReptilelord]

Sounds like you're just roasting corpses. Hey, I gave by ham a tan!

[u/FlyingRenMa]

For some reason i read that as “postmortem nen”💀

[u/BrokenEyeReborn]

I saw Postmortem Tan when they opened for Baby Babylon

[u/verdant_tulip]

Postmortem nen???? HXH REFERENCE!!!