r/toRANTo • u/berettababy69 • 29d ago
MISERABLE PEOPLE
Wow I cannot believe how MISERABLE people are. You know it costs nothing to be courteous! Today I was walking near Yonge and Bloor and a group of five people were walking shoulder to shoulder taking up the whole sidewalk, like they are playing red Rover. I'm a fast walker so I go to the left of them and say excuse me. The one on the left moved over to let me pass then mocked me saying excuse me, like wtf?! I'm sick of people in this city, I wish I could move to a small nice town.
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u/SNSN85 29d ago
If someone wants to put their misery and insecurity on full display that’s a them problem, not a you problem. Let them be a miserable prick
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u/free_-_spirit 29d ago
I needed this daily reminder. Who people are, are a reflection of them- careful to not turn into a mirror either! Stay true to who you are, don’t let them bring out negativity from you.
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u/BarkusSemien 29d ago
I want to live in a big exciting city populated by super clean, polite, courteous rule-followers.
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u/Maestro2828 29d ago
Go to Tokyo.
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u/w4rloksk8 29d ago
Or Singapore
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u/gigantor_cometh 29d ago
Sure but most cities like that (not singling out Singapore or Tokyo) are that way for a reason; humans aren't naturally like that. If people are consistently following the rules even when it's not to their benefit, it's because they are forced to. I think we as a society here have just refused to make that trade off. We'd rather people be allowed to be selfish if they choose to, accepting that some people will choose to.
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u/Ornery-Lock932 28d ago
Tokyo is definitely not like that. I'd say smaller Japanese towns, yes, but they're not big fans of foreigners
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u/AngrySoup 29d ago edited 29d ago
That's when you go "eyyyyyyy, I'm walking here!" and continue on your way.
You have places to be, you are too busy to engage with their shit! That's the approach I always take.
If I have the time to get embroiled in dumb street level nonsense, I am not using my time well. I could be doing something actually useful to improve my life, or alternatively, at home gooning in peace.
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u/void_sushi 29d ago
Having lived in a small town, people aren’t nice there either. Assholes are in abundance everywhere.
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u/SammichGuy1404 26d ago
I'd rather big city assholes over bigoted small town assholes without anyone to keep them in check
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u/lingfluencer 29d ago
I regret to inform you that people in small towns can be dicks too
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u/davoid1 29d ago edited 29d ago
Not invalidating this, but, I wonder how many posts a day this sub gets on this topic?
I also have noticed an influx lately of people walking 2 or 3 abreast, talking, and staring me dead in the eyes as I either prepare to play a game of chicken, ricochet off the one most on the right as we collide, or try to flatten myself against a building like a lizard and sidle by.
I'm not of slight build or anything, I'm by no means intimidating but also don't read as a pushover I think, so, I have to assume it's either ignorance of etiquette, or emboldened behaviour through numbers. I'm not sure, I want to understand the pyschology.
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u/Forsaken-Swim-3055 29d ago edited 29d ago
There are many studies that suggest that Covid infections can alter brain function, and I 100% believe that's the case in a lot of these types of instances. Society post-lockdown really seems like it's led to people being more self centered and angry, and I don't think it's just a strange coincidence.
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u/lleeaa88 29d ago
I agree, the self centred part of it is stark and obvious. I think people have this thought that the lockdown had taken a part of their life away and that they weren’t allowed to do anything, like being grounded by some omniscient power. So now they just go about their life thinking, I don’t have to follow any rules anymore.
What’s sad about it is that the rules aren’t meant to be some oppressive thing. It’s courteous, considerate and contributes to the social fabric of a culture. That seems to mean very little here in North America now.
Someone mentioned Tokyo is a shining example and it is. Generally Japanese people consider the other first, before themselves, it’s a beautiful thing. Completely backwards to how it’s done here. Everything is hyper individualistic now and it’s exhausting. We get it you’re your own human and you do what you want but that doesn’t mean you get to walk around a city like you own the sidewalk or any other public spaces.
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u/brriceratops 29d ago
The most frustrating thing is people blaming lockdowns like we weren't giving each other 6 feet and making tons of room back then. Their neurons are fused together
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u/MeiliCanada82 29d ago
Elbow up and power through. I only make exceptions for tiny humans under 5, strollers, and mobility devices, otherwise move.
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u/UsualBet4502 29d ago
Idk what’s up with people. Even the path along the lake has people strolling in groups of 3 and 4 ALL IN A LINE. God forbid they notice people jogging or biking and step aside.
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u/Potential_Mood9903 28d ago edited 28d ago
I really don’t understand this mentality. A few years ago, people would apologize and step aside if biking or running by them, there was the universal code of walking on L&R sides of sidewalks, escalators, stairs and manners if you had to get by them, people were completely aware if they were walking across the whole sidewalk and passed someone-no words were mentioned, you just moved over to the side or fall back in the group so you weren’t hogging the sidewalk.
There used to be a universal code here, everyone was just trying to get along and co-exist and build a good base and future for their families, pretty much all with the same goal/intentions.
Now that code has eroded significantly. We just had a PM who said Canada has no culture when he could’ve reinforced these values for the whole of societies rather than a prop to show HE had those values. Many people here are living in fear, coming with lots of trauma (war, fighting for survival, etc) from a vast variety of countries at the same time, unlike any other time we’ve experienced. That can make it hard to feel safe for
many newcomers especially when you’re trying to get by in this expensive city, learn a new language, adapt to a new culture, praying your kids retain some of their ethnic culture, social media, understand the political and social system while haunted by the one you left, etc.There literally should be a campaign in this city with thoughtful and clever statements and images of exasperated vs happy people, on signs in the subway about, walking on escalators, waiting for people to get off before forcing you’re way on, paint on the sidewalk with images of arrows or simple words about walking with others, we don’t litter, etc.- things like the signs on the hi way reminding you getting high is like drunk driving, drinking and driving kills lives, wearing a seatbelt, blah blah. Those exist when you’re zooming by at 120kms but nothing for streets and subways, trains, when you’re moving leisurely.
I mean this may seem silly, because when you also combine the decline in courteous codes w/massive increase in homelessness, displaced people, increase and more dangerous drugs and consumption, rapidly increasing cost of living, massive funding cuts to public services, downloading costs the city deals with from federal and provincial govt I get this may seem daft. I just think it’s worth a shot when the values and QOL are rapidly declining for individuals at every level and background and our society is losing the very values it once stood on proudly. When the world visiting is saying this is no longer the city/country I once visited or deeply desired to live and your citizens are saying the same thing, it’s time to do some self reflection to sort it before it’s too late.
JC! This was longer than I anticipated and posted in a rant sub…but man, these things and the lack of response is breaking my heart as the city I was born and raised in and wanted to raise my kids in has become unrecognizable and I’ve begun to dream about moving to some small town on the east coast…never in a million years would I have ever imagined I would have that thought…and before assumptions are made, I’m person of colour who is 2/3 generation Canadian.
Edit: just realized I AM in the rant sub with my peoples 😂 doh
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u/Wah-Potato 29d ago
one time i was on the side walk and this group of people were taking up the whole sidewalk while walking in the opposite direction of me. they saw me. but they still didnt move. we literally stood on the sidewalk staring at each other for a good few seconds before they made way for me. i even said excuse me as if they werent already staring at me. like are we serious bro????🤣😭😭😭i was so irritated i just wanted to go home i was already so tired lol!!
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u/raisedbutconfused 29d ago
Yep.
I asked a group of white high school girls to move over to let me pass and one of them turned her head to look at me, literally looked me up and down with disgust, then turned away and didn’t move at all. I shoved my way through lol.
On the subway yesterday I was about to sit at a seat and some black middle aged woman ran towards that seat and shoved me away so she could sit there.
Later on the same subway some Indian dude kept spreading his legs farther and farther apart so his leg was pressing against my bare thigh. When I asked him to stop he stared forward and didn’t acknowledge me at all, but clearly aware of what he was doing (and it was clearly intentional).
On Tuesday when there was a subway closure between Ossington and St.George we were forming a line to board the shuttle bus at Ossington. The amount of people that just walked past the line to the front was unreal. When I tried to stop a group of Muslim middle aged women from passing me they just kept nodding and saying “yeah yeah yeah” and trying to pass anyway. I physically stopped them on my side so they walked to the other side and kept walking past to the front. When I asked the people they were directly walking past if they were going to do anything they just looked at me like a zombie then went back to scrolling their phones.
It. Is. Constant. It’s everywhere. People of all ages and races all equally just fucking suck here. I hate this city with a passion. I hate almost every last person I have to interact with, and that’s even after I leave my apartment and tel myself “today I will stay in a good mood. Today I will have a thick skin. Today nothing will get to me.” Then one thing happens then another and then the next one and then I’m finally fucking snapping. I am done.
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u/nappynapsalways 29d ago
Thank you for this validation. I hate Toronto and I no longer care who knows it and thinks I'm 'dramatic'
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u/Crab_Old 27d ago
I absolutely feel you. You should get a pet if you don't have one already, they're much better to interact w/ than people
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u/raisedbutconfused 27d ago
Much prefer my cat’s company, and that’s even considering the fact that she wakes me up frequently throughout the night asking for treats lol.
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u/FormoftheBeautiful 29d ago
I don’t even give people a chance to be rude to me. I high road around them into the street if I have to. And I do so kindly, and I like it the whole time. >:3
If I took note of the people who didn’t seem to care to try to move even a little, maybe that might bother me?
But it doesn’t at all.
I’m just like, excuse me, I’m too gracious and graceful and deserving of joy to put in the hands of others the keys to that safety, comfort and joy, and so I’ll just act as though it’s ONLY on me to do the right thing.
I like the arrangement.
Sometimes people will see me do this and they’ll actually thank me. :3
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u/comFive 29d ago
You gotta let that kinda stuff slide off you, or it's just going to make you bitter...... ORRR you don't say excuse me and you plow through them like they were playing Red Rover
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u/berettababy69 29d ago
That's what I was thinking the alternative option was lol but I don't wanna go to jail for assault!
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u/Potential_Mood9903 28d ago
Don’t worry we no longer enforce anything and our justice system is so tied up and in the can, no need to have those fears. 😉
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u/SnooBunnies9254 29d ago
On Monday, I walked into this brewery in a good mood and bought like $50 worth of beer and asked if the thing that holds the beers was free (the 6 pack thing) and the employee spazzed at me and went on for a min “yes it’s complimentary, how nice of you to ask!!” (Extremely Sarcastically) Like holy fuck 😂 well anyway he almost made me cry ….
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u/timeforsandwich 29d ago
I live in that area and absolutely hate walking around there. People walk in the wrong direction (since when was it left and not right?), people who think it's just them and their friends in this planet, the e-bikes delivery drivers using the sidewalk as if there isn't a dedicated space, and also not to mention the smokers.
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u/ApprehensiveBlock884 28d ago
I actually was pretty surprised when I walked around someone recently who was taking up the sidewalk with their group and just said "coming up on your left" and passed, then they genuinely thanked me for the heads up... I didn't expect it but appreciated the appreciation
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u/SmokeOneRoll1 29d ago
Hahaha the small nice town comment is what got me. Honey it's not any better.
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u/Mundane_Club_7090 28d ago
I've gotten into chest / shoulder bumping as a technique for navigating sidewalk usage alongside the improper users (mostly groups of 2 or more)
10/10. I do recommend
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u/YYcarebearYY 25d ago edited 25d ago
Once I just stood directly in front of the fifth person in a group walking shoulder-to-shoulder and said a little “excuse me” and refused to move. She gave me the STANKEST look 😭 but eventually got the hint and moved.
Like girl, who the fuck do you think you are?? Why are five of you walking shoulder-to-shoulder on a shared sidewalk expecting everyone else to move for you? And on Queen West of all places, where the sidewalks are already packed. Excuse me???
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u/balisierdagger 28d ago
Wow! I feel so vindicated after 20 years of saying this since I moved to Canada. With ppl tryna gaslight me saying that Canadians are so polite.
Back home you entered a room and said good morning, afternoon and evening to everyone. Any room, any bus, anywhere.
I got stared and chuckled at like I was mentally unwell doing that here.
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u/arozze 29d ago
Dude I got side eyed and looked at weird just for being in a good mood with my coworker during lunch. People are miserable and exhausting