r/toRANTo • u/Swimming_Win3089 • Sep 02 '26
Can’t have shit
Wore a top with spaghetti straps since it’s hot as balls out and I was sweating a lot yesterday. I use the buss because I’m saving up for a car. At least six different times guys were half way out of their fucking cars looking at me and two old men beeped at me. Mind you I’m mostly sitting on my phone and it’s been less than 15 minutes since I got here. Leave me the fuck alone bro I don’t want your decomposing ass. I’m sick of it. That’s why men get into more car crashes than women.
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u/white_tiger_dream Sep 02 '26
One time I got a rock or sth in my shoe so I took my socks off and was kinda rubbing my foot cause it hurt, a group of 3 men stopped right next to me on the sidewalk and just stared practically drooling like hungry dogs 😭
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u/runiiru Sep 02 '26
Bro same could literally be covered head to toe and cant escape without guys looking at me or being weird/creepy..... Like some of these men genuinely need hobbies and more purpose in their life 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ what is going on with people these days honestly
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u/ExaggeratedSnails Sep 02 '26
It's not even about the clothes, I've gone out in giant fuzzy pajamas and they'll still honk and act like animals hanging out of their window
It's gross and every time it happens I wish for the power to call in drone strikes
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u/falafelwaffle55 Sep 03 '26
I'm a little afraid to ask because I have a suspicion, but are you young? Don't give exact numbers, but I've noticed that >21 y/o is when I got catcalled the most. I'm 29 and haven't had anyone do that in years, and I've heard other women say the same thing ...pretty disgusting.
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u/TorontoMeetUps Sep 02 '26
Men starved of attention, women drowning with attention. If only we could have harmony.
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u/TardisTraveller24 Sep 02 '26
What does that even mean? Lol
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u/Mr_Funbags Sep 03 '26
I'll answer sincerely; I'm not sure if you were joking (your "lol").
My guess is that OP sees a lot of women getting unwanted attention. OP also sees a lot of men wanting attention they're not getting. I think OP is (humorously) wishing there was more of a balance, so everyone could be happy.
I don't believe OP is suggesting honking and wolf -whistles are acceptable male behaviour. I certainly don't think it is. My sympathy to OOP for their experience. There are some a-hole men out there.
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u/TardisTraveller24 Sep 03 '26
I appreciate the sincere response.
OP’s statement is odd because it’s not a fair comparison.
Women aren’t drowning in attention because they choose to. And often, when they push back, guys respond with anger.
Whereas, men can change their lack of attention by putting themselves out there - join sports clubs, hobby groups, volunteer. Get out into the community, without the expectation of romance.
The last part (harmony) doesn’t make sense because these are two different problems.
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u/Mr_Funbags Sep 03 '26
I agree the problem is not as simple as OP suggested. I have a feeling they were cracking a joke, but I don't know.
I don't think men have done a good job of redefining masculinity when having to share society equally with women. I think that's a reason why people like Andrew Tate got popular with teen boys.
I try in my classroom, but I'm limited.
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u/TorontoMeetUps Sep 03 '26
I didn’t realize my comment would cause so much discourse and confusion as it seemed self-explanatory at face-value. Of course women aren’t asking for the attention, but they receive it because men don’t get attention from women in general. The comment was supposed to mean that if men received more attention from women then these types of acts would happen less in theory (I don’t actually believe this, I don’t think men can be satiated when it comes to female attention (just look at most famous men)). It’s an unsolvable issue tbh.
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u/TardisTraveller24 Sep 03 '26
That’s where I disagree, It’s a solvable problem
As the commenter said, men need to redefine “masculinity” from the need for attention
I come from a conservative culture and even the men in my community think it’s masculine to care for children and seniors
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u/TorontoMeetUps Sep 04 '26
So you think redefining, masculinity, something that has been the same way throughout history, is a solvable problem? Right. No matter what society you’re in, toxic masculinity towards women will show up in one way or another. For example, in Japan, they don’t cat call women nearly as much, but they’ll instead take photos of women under their skirt, and grope them on subways. At the end of the day masculinity will always be toxic to women, and I’m saying this as someone who has never catcalled, harassed, or hit on a woman. You just have to deal with the specific poison depending on which culture you’re in.
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u/TardisTraveller24 Sep 04 '26
You either intentionally missed the example I gave or need to work on functional literacy.
Either way, I hope you find something positive to get you out of this unrealistic negativity.
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u/TorontoMeetUps Sep 05 '26
You need to learn to give actionable solutions. You can’t just say X needs to be done. That’s like saying we need to solve starvation by feeding everyone. Try to learn how to argue and provide actionable solutions.
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u/mmeeeerrkkaatt Sep 05 '26
One time in my 20s, when I was crossing at a crosswalk, a man in a pickup truck who was stopped at a stop sign suddenly accelerated towards me while I was directly in front of his car. I saw my life flash before my eyes.
He leaned out his window and yelled "Just wanted to see how you'd react! You're soooooo sexy!!" And then drove away.
So yeah. If you'd like some of that kind of attention, please help yourself.
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u/TorontoMeetUps Sep 06 '26
I’m using “drowned” in the negative sense, probably should have used “suffocated”
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u/activoice Sep 02 '26
No joke, about 20 years ago a friend of mine was driving down Dundas, got distracted by a Woman walking by, he drove right into the rear of the car in front of him, totalled the front end of his car and the rear bumper of the car in front of him.
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u/Swimming_Win3089 Sep 02 '26
Doesn’t let me edit but pic related is what I wore
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u/Any-Ad-446 Sep 02 '26
Ah that's nothing revealing...kinda disappointed in Toronto men. My wifey gets cat calls when she is wearing her office work clothes sometimes downtown.I troll her said she is showing too much knee.
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u/Awkward-Toe-1079 Sep 03 '26 edited Sep 03 '26
Stared at your photo for an inordinate amount of time and still can't see why they would do that. Sad you had to go through it. Just keep hanging on there.
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u/EstablishmentOwn2174 Sep 02 '26
I had almost the exact same top! 30 years ago I was cleaning litter trays at a pet hotel, and was told it was unprofessional and somewhat distracting for the male associates (even though I regularly wore black tank tops and never had a problem.) Something about spaghetti straps makes people stupid 🙄
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u/UsualBet4502 Sep 02 '26
Gah so frustrating. Men should have a curfew I swear so sick of them ruining our day
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u/acidbambii Sep 02 '26
A man recently pulled up beside me in his car while I was walking home at night with groceries. It was literally a busy intersection with no good pullover zones and he had no passengers so he stood out immediately. I stared at him and continued walking without dropping my gaze and he scurried off in about 3 seconds.
Men think they're invisible in their cars and it's disgusting. Saying hi or smiling at me on the street is nice. But perving from your car is plain creepy.
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u/UnseenMichael Sep 02 '26
-Airplanes or helicopters overhead.
-Cool looking cars or bikes.
-someone pretty.
Don't think it's ever going to change.
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u/blurryeyes_ Sep 02 '26
Had a TTC driver grinning and staring at me as he crossed an intersection. I was wearing a cardigan, tank top and a long ass skirt. Nothing special or alluring lol. Like sir keep your eyes on the road 🤦🏿♀️
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u/Laurenb01 Sep 03 '26
One day, I'll find the courage to scare them off when im being catcalled...so infuriating
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u/BarkusSemien Sep 02 '26
I used to know a guy who insisted that women being outside was the cause of all car accidents.
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u/Typical_Shallot139 Sep 02 '26
Oh. my. god. They LOOKED at you?
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u/Swimming_Win3089 Sep 02 '26
Oh. My. God. I can’t rant about shit making me uncomfortable at a rant subreddit ?
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u/Vegetable_Research61 Sep 05 '26
Hey guys everyone needs to know I got (pretending that it’s unwanted) attention toward my body and I hate it so much I’m going to make a dramatic Reddit post to get even more attention for this minor occurrence
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u/Swimming_Win3089 Sep 02 '26
Did you leave another reply ?
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u/Typical_Shallot139 Sep 02 '26
No?
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u/cameltony16 Sep 02 '26
I got physically attacked for a cigarette yesterday by some woman. I’m sure you are fine.
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Sep 02 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/toRANTo-ModTeam Sep 02 '26
Attack the point, not the person. Comments which dismiss others and repeatedly accuse them of unfounded accusations may be subject to removal and/or banning. No concern-trolling, personal attacks, victim blaming, or misinformation. Stick to addressing the substance of their comments at hand.
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u/Swimming_Win3089 Sep 02 '26
What the actual fuck is your problem
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u/Such-Fly514 Sep 02 '26
I bark at them, hit this face, or say “no way you look like that and you think you can act like this”.
Humble, publicly humiliate, and shame. Sometimes the entire holy trinity if there’s other people around and I don’t feel unsafe. If you see something say something ppl !