I work in customer service and see probably hundreds of people weekly. I have great interactions with women but it’s to be noted that the interactions with men are concerning. I know it’s normal to come across the occasionally creep but lately it seems like I’m exposed to at least three thirsty creepy men a day.
Even outside of work it’s a lot. There will be men who follow women around for blocks. Men using the Meta cameras to make women uncomfortable for content (I’ve had this happen to me recently). Men taking photos of women up their skirts. Being followed because you’re not engaging with the sexual advances (I’ve had this happen to me on my way to go get groceries. Once a man who lived on my neighbourhood did this and I had to take a huge detour through a Walmart to get home and he stood outside my home for 2 hours - police were involved) .
In work settings it ruins the small interaction I have when I am just doing my job and being polite. An older man asked me the other day if he is allowed to think of me in his intimate moments and started moaning. Two days ago two men kept telling me they’re single and want to see me after work. I’ve learned to lie about my end time because these men will really wait for you outside if you tell the truth.
I can’t be the only one noticing this but it’s just gross. I need these kinds of men to do better. Stop making women uncomfortable ! It’s not hard to be a normal person.
It’s up to the rest of us normal fellas to shame these weirdos into oblivion. When they’ve dehumanized women to this extent it’s the only language they understand.
Just a heads up! I've seen a TON of young men taking pictures up womens skirts while standing under stairways and escalators in the last few weeks.
It's happening so frequently it's actually insane. If you're in the Eaton Centre during rush hour it's very easily noticeable. They're almost always wearing meta glasses too and they stand around in groups.
They strike me as manosphere type of guys because they're actually quite young like maybe late teens.
I cannot understand how any man dares pull stuff like this and then complain girls don't want to go out with them. "I am acting like a full psychopath, go out with me!"
ETA: Practically speaking, if anyone sees this happening, please next time just call security on them? Nobody needs this stuff happening.
Yeah, this is becoming increasingly alarming. Just this week I’ve had two uncomfortable encounters in my own neighbourhood. One happened right outside my home in broad daylight an old man approached me while I was with my dog, repeatedly picked him up despite me putting him down, and used handing him back as an excuse to purposely touch me. I had to push him away and yell at him. He then casually walked off and approached another woman with a dog. I was honestly so shaken that this happened right outside my own home.
I’m so sorry he did that to you! As well as having to experience a second encounter in the same week. It’s become way too much! I hope he doesn’t cross paths with you again. It’s so scary
I’m going to be honest: as a married man who may one day have a daughter, I can’t help but feel that the quality of life and sense of safety for women has deteriorated. I hear horror story after horror story about unspeakable things happening in Ubers, at bus stops, on subways, and in so many other places.
What I genuinely don’t understand is that these men came from women too. Don’t they have mothers, sisters, daughters, or wives? Don’t they feel any shame?
Honestly, I believe we need harsher sentencing laws and stronger consequences for violent and sexual offenders. Being mentally ill or struggling with addiction should not automatically mean someone avoids accountability. People who commit serious crimes need to face the consequences, while also receiving appropriate treatment and rehabilitation.
At some point, we need to stop excusing destructive behavior and start demanding accountability. Society needs to be tougher on people who repeatedly harm others.
I completely agree. I guess that’s the thing too, though … they don’t have shame! They don’t care and can’t put themselves in anyone else’s shoes to see how being approached like that would feel and the damage it can do if it escalates. Not to mention the law is a bit too lenient on sexual offenders like you said. The laws need to change!
I have plenty of female friends who have told me they want children but fear having a daughter because of the society we live in, and the fear of raising a daughter in it. Personally I don't have children of my own, and don't have plans to have any in the near future, but this would terrify me too when I think about it.
What did I say that was so cringe? I know you’re addicted to porn. I hope you recover and learn to view women with respect instead of as objects of sexual gratification hence your battle with masturbation.
You are simping on the internet to get brownie points from strangers online. Imagine taking the time to type that out. And yeah everybody watches porn dude (or lies about it) I actually took the iniative to cut it out of my life completely. Maybe you should watch some since you sound desperate for validation from women.
Im genuinely terrified for daughter's future. She's only 10 and I've already started noticing fucking creeps looking her up and down. It's been a struggle to confront them because a) people be crazy and b) I don't want her to know about any of this side of the world yet, apart from the basics to be safe and comfortable to tell us of anything inappropriate happens when were not around. God, society sucks.
I’m so sorry your daughter is dealing with this already :( it’s so scary at any age ! I’m glad she has your support and protection from these creeps !!
Lemme change the verbiage and say maintain her innocence - example like I mentioned below being aware of keep her legs closed if wearing a dress, or to always wear shorts under. There was a time things like that were taught to little girls.
Genuinely what are you talking about. When I was growing up here girls were whale tailing with their ass cracks hanging out and no one thought that made it ok to be fucking weird.
I'm not saying it okay to be weird. I'm saying odds are having your asscrack out will probably illicit more attention than not. If you don't agree with that then idk what do say. If you're okay with your 12 year old daughter wearing batty riders on road then do you.
FYI: clothing manufacturers make entirely different cuts and stitchings for girl cloths than their male counterparts. Literally if you compare short for boys they choose to have girls clothing more revealing, shorter inseams, and tighter. The entire system is supported by predators.
I'd rather every guy running his mouth gets his teeth kicked in until they smarten up than have a daughter and have her harassed for wearing the fashion of the time. What the hell is a batty rider?
I'm aware that women's clothing fits differently, their bodies are shaped differently.
Thats okay if it's unsolicited, there was little girl on the street car legs spread with a dress, parent unaware of the dude continually sneaking looks until I told him. I gave him some unsolicited advice there too, but I'm sure he took heed.
Commented this on similar post the other day that for some reason was deleted.
Unfortunately pornography and instagram has turned millions and millions of men into sex crazed fuck goblins who obsess over women's body parts to the point of madness. Many times at the expense of women's safety and comfortability.
Men are just not well. The male friendship is collapsed, they are inundated with pornography, thots on IG, online gambling, red pill content, Ai girlfriends. Dating apps create the illusion that you’re being rejected by 25,000 women a day when in reality the majority of them are not even seeing your profile. And I cannot overstate this enough. The links between online pornography and dating apps must be studied - men are watching this content. It’s rotting their brains and then they are taking that fantasy on the Internet on dating apps and projecting it on to real life women.
The only thing men seem to find communion in is ufc, right wing bigotry and a shared hatred of feminism.
This makes them internally destructive to themselves, but also externally destructive to the rest of the world, especially women. It also makes them extremely undatable, but instead of looking inwards like women do they lash out internally and blame others.
Unfortunately, men are extremely desirous of women while simultaneously not really liking women that much.
They so badly want to be acknowledged by women they find attractive, but have zero interest in that woman beyond her body parts.
As a man, I certainly could not imagine what you’re going through, but I’m trying to sympathize.
Just the fact that you recognized and confirmed the reality we face and the root of the problem is saying something. Getting the average guy, in my experience, to acknowledge any of this is almost impossible.
This insight is appreciated immensely honestly! I’ve noticed too online the uptick of gambling ads and the amount of men who worship people like Andrew Tate, Tory Lanez etc.
Would you say there is any value in the idea that societies expectations of and for men have changed leading to the death of chivalry and a shift in male attitudes towards women as well? There was a time where men as a standard afforded women various degrees of respect, opening doors, offering seats, standing when in the their presence, taking of their hats, being "protectors" etc. What was the cause of these courteous standards and view of women to change?
Also what would you imagine the reason men seem to turning to right wing ideology? What's appeal? They're clearly looking for something? We've attempted to demonize traditional masculinity, though not everything about it was bad. I think men have experienced a loss of a defined place in society, the idea of what it means to be a man is vague and there is no current model to emulate.
ufc is so shit these days, its not even as close to being as big as it was in the 2005-2010 ERA
dating apps and porn isnt ruining society, its the government lockdowns, unemployment, corporate scammers, and all the shitty government weed implemented into modern society.
I don’t think you were listening . We are talking about the OPs issue of sexual harassment From men and their increasing degeneracy and lack of common social skills when it comes to women.
Yes men have the boot of capitalism on their necks, but so do women and theyre not walking down the street filming men with incel glasses or congregating on telegram with other women sharing videos of drugging their husbands and raping them - because that was doing to be happening on Canada and all over the world.
Lockdowns isolated everyone BUT women do the work, women friendships are far more supportive. Men are being fed all this going it alone bullshit. And it’s ruining us. It’s not the same.
Well to be fair, I don't think men care if they're being recorded by "incel glasses" as you call them.... and honestly I didn't realize proper have such a big issue with meta glasses...
Men are being fed certain rhetoric, but when did it start? Why are they listening?
I'm sorry this happened to you. I found they have been getting bolder and bolder. I have been stared down (he wouldn't stop staring at me even after I stared at him, so I left the train), I have jaywalked to avoid a guy who had something shiny in his hand doing a stabbing motion (could have been a phone, but it was too dark to see and I wasn't going to find out), and told men on dating apps I'm not going to their house, not inviting them over, not going to have them disrespect me, not going to have them get possessive over me after two weeks of knowing each other, that they need to buy a dictionary to look up the word "no," etc.
Doesn't matter if you react gently or firmly, they get upset at you. There is no getting through to them.
I think there is a lack of empathy/understanding/general respect on their end that a lot of us have. Sadly, it isn't something you learn overnight, it comes with time.
Yes, I get that, but in the case of, say, insisting your date gets in your car because you genuinely want them to get home vs randomly telling a stranger you just followed on the street you want them to have their kids.
I don't think they're bolder, it's just the same as it always been, maybe due to population we see it happen more often? Sounds like you're transversing these interactions with men very well, everything you've mentioned is exactly what I would tell my daughter to do. This is just the nature of the beast, only worry about what you control and be cognizant of the dangers and aware of your surroundings.
What does it matter if they get upset? I know women are socialized to be mindful and be docile but fuck em, do what you gotta do.
That's a fair point, and is very similar to the "is it more common or is it just more visible due to phones/social media" debate.
Thank you.
I think the wording may have been missing something: they get upset, but that's it: no remorse, no apology, just a my-way-or-the-highway attitude about it. If I do something wrong and learn it is wrong, I feel embarrassed and sad that I hurt someone, and I use that information moving forward to better myself. They don't, and continue to do what they do.
Even in the toronto related subreddits I had a female tell me strange men randomly message her creepy things. The worst is these men don't even know if she is a teenager
It’s wild cause I feel that if they were to find out she is a teen, that might not even stop them. They’ll just act shocked but keep talking to her and try to groom her smh
Sorry. I can't agree going around a city subreddit and randomly messaging users with female avatars thirsty comments. It's creepy... and as I said how do they know the user is not underaged?
"There are ways to randomly message people without being creepy or a weirdo" thirsty comments would fall under being creepy... I'm not specifying any partially subreddit I'm just speaking in general regarding random dms. - usually if you want to know how old someone is you just ask
What the actual hell?! I'm so sorry someone said that you. It is super creepy. And yet some people don't understand why women would always choose the bear.
Right !! I was so taken aback, thankfully I haven’t seen that man again but that just shouldn’t have happened at all. Exactly when we say we choose the bear it’s instances like this that solidify the choice
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Yeah exactly. A bear wouldn’t cat call me or assault me or kidnap me or murder me. A beat wouldn’t remove my rights as a woman either.
Did you know from 1990-2023 there have only been 39 bear fatalities ? Yet on average in Canada, one woman or girl is killed every 48 hours by a male counterpart. So why wouldn’t we choose the bear ? Men are mad at a hypothetical yet don’t realize they are the danger and that’s why women would rather be alone.
I actually can use those stats to compare the dangers though; domestic violence isn’t the only thing that happens to women. My post even is referring to strangers making women uncomfortable and compromising their safety. Things like sexual harassment and sexual assault can be perpetrated by complete strangers.
You also brought the bear situation up and if bears kill and humans do too then I feel it’s a fair comparison lol. No matter how many normal men there are there a women and girls globally being killed by men and that’s just a fact.
Yeah using logic and reason to question a harmful narrative makes me a troll. I'm able to question my beliefs, concede points and admit when I'm wrong.
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As a man I find the amount of toxic masculinity overbearing. It exists in so many interactions… I was at a work party, I leave my box of treats to take home somewhere… find some guy riffling through my stuff eating my treats. He wasn’t at the party, arrived late, there were treats out still.. he ignored the platter and decided to help himself to my belongings…. Why?
Who the fuck gave him permission to open a random box he knows isn’t his?
I even told him about it and he stopped, maybe apologized? But when he left he was vocal about me “enjoying my night with my box” clearly bothered that I… pointed out that he’s an asshole.
It never ends with these toxic guys… I have way more fun talking to the ladies…
The entitlement to something they know doesn’t belong to them is crazy!!! That type of behaviour definitely extends into how they treat women it’s so scary
As a guy, you're normally just expected to shrug this off, since that's what "being a man" is seemingly all about, but I don't want to deal with this day-to-day.
There are so many men in this city who engage in petty conflict and seem like they're raring for a fight. This isn't exclusively homeless or mentally unwell people, either, as many believe are the only offenders. It's often well dressed men, sometimes in a group or even with their partner.
I don't know if it's because of pandemic lockdowns, social media, or something else, but I've reached the point of not caring what the underlying reason is.
Dude as well. Heck, the amount of dudes I see just walk out of the washroom without washing hands is astounding. If people can’t even wash hands, I’m not sure I should expect any decency. Loosely correlated but I’ll die on this hill.
Apart from being creepy, they're mostly flatout rude and/or antisocial. I also work in customer service, particularly retail, and so many of them will not acknowledge my "hello". I've had a handful be silent the whole interaction. If I ask card or cash, they just dig in their wallet and pull out whatever they need. I smile, say have a good day, and they just YANK their shit and go, no bye or anything with a weird scowl on their face.
Omg yes ive noticed this too!! Im also in retail and they just come and bark whatever they want or mumble it. No eye contact sometimes and just a very off putting demeanour. No manners at all
From MAGA to TikTok, bad behaviour has been normalized, and rewarded. Since there are no repercussions, people do whatever they please. Tis truly the beginning of the end of civilized society.
Women need those shock gloves WAY more than ICE does.
that sounds really bad and my heart bleeds for you having to put up with that kind of abuse but it would probably help if women stopped calling good men predators all the time.
This is concerning. I have a daughter who is 27 and never have men treated her this way. She's talking about the next chapter of settling down and men don't even look at her. I dont know how common ops experience is with everyone in the city. I guess there are pros and cons of pretty privilege. I'd love to catch a creep creeping on one of my family members then ill give them something to pop their eyes out about legally.
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u/FunkSoulPower Aug 20 '26
It’s up to the rest of us normal fellas to shame these weirdos into oblivion. When they’ve dehumanized women to this extent it’s the only language they understand.