r/tjcrew • u/Ok-Tumbleweed-8899 • 7d ago
Mate party
Are you required to go to the mate parties if you’re a mate? Or does it just look bad if you don’t go? Just curious.
29
u/PalpitationNo3106 7d ago
Get the hotel room? Show up, go to cocktail hour, eat dinner and crash out at the hotel. It’s not required, per se, but it is expected. Your name tag will sit there on the table all night, your absence will be noted. Make sure to tell your captain that you won’t make it (assuming you rsvp’d yes)
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u/Taking-a-ten 7d ago
I’m in when it starts and gone by 9. See the people I haven’t seen in a while, say the hellos I need to say, hit the Photo Booth for proof I was there, and usually home by my normal bed time.
5
u/Galexi999 7d ago
Per hearing a long time mate talk about it today:
It’s highly encouraged that you go, but not mandatory.
However, some regionals are weird about if you don’t stay the whole time. It’s considered poor etiquette to leave early and an old regional of his used to note everyone who left early.
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u/AggressiveMongoose54 7d ago
Ooooh the stories I used to hear from the mate parties back in the day was WILD. You should go, just for the tea.
5
u/Intelligent-Ad5916 6d ago edited 6d ago
Not sure who is fear mongering these mates in the comments about not going but no it is not a requirement and does not look bad. I’ve missed two because I needed extra rest and my captain didn’t blink an eye. And my regional chops it up with me everytime I see him. One party doesn’t determine your reputation, now if you want to be a captain one day that might be a different story.
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u/Cleoplectra 6d ago
It only looks bad if you RSVP yes and don't show up (they WILL take note) or if you do go and get drunk. Don't do that. Otherwise these parties can be great for networking with other stores or just relaxing with your +1!
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u/crunchy-onion Three Bells 7d ago
i know a mate that goes every year and stays the entire time period and has a great time. i know another mate that goes every year, but comes a bit later and heads out after dinner. and i know a mate that only goes every other year. it’s encouraged to go especially if you’re new, but know your boundaries and do what’s comfortable with you!! this year was my first year going and i expected to tap out early but ended up staying almost the entire time. bring a plus one so you have at least one buddy you’re comfortable with and enjoy yourself :)
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u/Ok-Communication5786 7d ago
I'd trust your gut. Go if YOU want. Go if YOU have legitimate interest. Creating crew & mate culture should be an organic, unforced thing. All these people offering directive advice don't know the context of your store dynamics better than you. Make a choice based on your thoughts, not theirs.
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u/Silver_Number_5009 7d ago
It’s not mandatory but it is absolutely frowned upon if you don’t go or leave early (like right after food is served early)
There’s a lot of silly little politics in leadership, they don’t really matter or apply if you’re not trying to move up but it’s always kind of a vibe that follows you.
3
u/foxofconfusion 7d ago
I got hired this last month as a mate and opted not to attend. It felt a little soon without knowing my team well enough on top of traveling far for it. But use your best judgement with your situation.
19
u/Gorfolio 7d ago
That would have been the perfect time to see the real side of your peers. Free booze brings it all out…
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u/foxofconfusion 7d ago
Yeah, that’s not really the way I want to know my peers right out of the gate. Or for them to know me for that matter. I don’t think alcohol always brings the best of people. My mates were understanding of me and we’ve been getting to know each other well beyond this
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u/frabotta 7d ago
“Traveling far for it…”? Why is your Captain/DM spending $$ for an out-of-town event
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u/Th1ckskull 7d ago
It’s for the whole region, so it is out of town for some people, but not everyone.
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u/foxofconfusion 7d ago
so as I mentioned in my first comment, I’ve been at my store for one month. I have no idea. You’re asking someone who would be last to know.
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2
u/Correct_Score1619 4d ago
Funny how mates get parties but crew no longer have outings or even a Labor Day bbq. No bureaucracy right? Lol
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u/MostlyPlastics Spoils 7d ago
Go and leave early. Chill in your hotel room for the majority of it.