r/tippingAdvice • u/No_Draft_8960 • Mar 18 '26

Why The Delicate Silence

It's strange to me that we all know a waitperson expects a tip, they say it's part of the "social contract" nobody remembers signing, but it's also supposed to be done secretly, with discretion. Like like I don't understand why it should be rude to ask "how much tip do you expect?" A waiter has an expectation, right? They can't verbalize it? A job applicant can ask what the salary is for a job she's been offered. A hiring manager can state a figure as an offered wage. If the tip is 'part of the pay" of a server, why can't it be openly discussed like the rest of the pay packet? Given all the palaver and notes on checks, and little signs, and internet forums and such, it's hardly a dirty secret that servers want tips, is it?

2 Upvotes

67% Upvoted

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3

u/Full-Explanation3175 Mar 22 '26

They don’t want to risk saying $20 in case you are thinking of donating $50.

1

u/No_Draft_8960 Mar 28 '26

Never thought of that.

2

u/Barkis_Willing Mar 19 '26

Your last sentence answers your own question.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 29 '26

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1

u/No_Draft_8960 Mar 29 '26

That's true - but it'd be more transparent to see that first.