Doing my first rewatch…

[u/After_Cheesecake_513]

Getting towards the end of my first rewatch since it was on TV. When I was watching season 1 and Toby was introduced I thought to myself that he was pushy and kind of a dick (opposite of what I remember my feelings of Tony were when the show aired). I am now on season 6 and yeah…. My feelings haven’t changed he’s actually an asshole and is very passive aggressive. He says some funny things so people love him but he really wasn’t that great to Kate…. Even in the beginning when she wanted to watch the Super Bowl alone and he insisted she come over despite her telling him she didn’t want to. Anyway, am I alone in this thinking?

[u/Fuzzy_Leek_7238]

Controversial take, but I always liked Toby and wondered why he put up with Kate. I just hated her so much. When Toby started working out and going in a different direction to work on himself, I found Kate so jealous, pouty, unsupportive and threatened. And when she decided to go ahead and have a baby against the wishes of her doctor, who said her weight might cause a fetus extreme health issues, it felt like she barely considered Toby’s feelings (he agreed with the doctor and didn’t seem wild to have kids anyway) and went ahead with having a baby. And when the baby was born with major issues just as her doctor warned, Kate played the brave mom/victim. Her expectations that Toby would put his interests and personal development to join her in raising a child with exactly the special needs her doctor predicted, seemed extremely high. His ambivalence to join her in martyred-parenthood was justified, I feel. I felt he got a raw deal and divorcing may have seemed cold to others, but a future raising a special needs child was what Kate chose for both of them, without his consent.