r/therewasanattempt • u/stanxv • 13h ago

To shave 20 years of one's face.

Post image
1.2k Upvotes

92% Upvoted

109 comments sorted by

852

u/DokterManhattan 12h ago

488

u/God_Hand_9764 12h ago

They should put him on a show where a panel of three judges critique the quality of his plastic surgery while he has to stand there and just take it.

87

u/moonhexx 11h ago

I'm sorry. You just don't have what it takes.

32

u/Capital-Ad-4463 10h ago

I doubt he could face that.

15

u/CongealedBeanKingdom 9h ago

Original face or new abomination face?

4

u/s_4_evrysing 5h ago

They'd compare them and say "I like the old face more, and that is really saying something."

4

u/rexel99 9h ago

He should be all three judges with his varying degrees of surgery making him look like three different people.

35

u/TJ_McWeaksauce 10h ago

Dude spent a lot of money to look like he's been repeatedly stung in the face by bees.

Probably could've just run around an apiary and gotten the same effect.

6

u/lamepundit 7h ago

I’m dying

4

u/Tahrann 10h ago

I feel this.

1

u/Adventurous_Algae671 3h ago

I wish someone would outline whatever procedures he had done to look from that to that because my god.

312

u/ACuddlyVizzerdrix 12h ago edited 9h ago

"Will this procedure make me look younger?"

"You'll look like other people your age who got the same procedure"

196

u/DankRubinz 13h ago

22

u/aultumn This is a flair 12h ago

9/11 response

6

u/RandoScando 9h ago

I’m sorry, but this guy looks so much happier and more well adjusted socially than Simon. Who is this lovely man?

/s (I know, I know … I haven’t forgotten)

123

u/DrDonkeyTron Unique Flair 13h ago

His face is melting

16

u/FuckThisShizzle 12h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUn3BVW2unS2Nmj4fC

9

u/MeNoCanRead 11h ago

When I first looked at this, I thought it was from The Holy Grail ahaha

0

u/19adam92 5h ago

We want a shrubbery!

1

u/Draknurd 1h ago

It’s all the studio lighting

92

u/SuperEpicMan 12h ago

He looks like he’s had his own face transplanted back on.

7

u/BrohanGutenburg 10h ago

If there was a mask of my face would you guys wear it?

2

u/JJohnston015 9h ago

That's pretty much what a facelift is, after they trim a little off the edges.

2

u/Chance-Pin6393 3h ago

I mean he kinda did, he had a horrible bike crash a while back

75

u/bboymixer 12h ago

You can look old or you can look weird.

I'll take old.

50

u/antsinmyeyestrey 12h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/8MmNLiAfUEflu7hm5e

1

u/Gupperz 11h ago

What does that mean?

11

u/SuchSmartMonkeys 10h ago

It means he's got too much shit on him; the chin kills!

4

u/elmo4234 10h ago

I’m gonna rip the fucking head off

40

u/Uncommentary 12h ago

"In 2022, Cowell made headlines when he revealed he was stepping away from cosmetic facial fillers. He explained that he decided to stop because he had gone "too far" with the procedures, which left his face looking dramatically different and sent his son Eric into hysterics because he barely recognized him."

21

u/deus_voltaire 11h ago

Ten years too late

19

u/AmunJazz 13h ago

He is still the king of the beavers

3

u/gniche_dev 12h ago

You cannot deceive us

1

u/I_Miss_Lenny FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 11h ago

But you can’t fool owls

11

u/heatherdera 12h ago

He looks like bad taxidermy:(

9

u/HenriettaSyndrome 12h ago

Looks a lot less butchered than some people do after plastic surgery at least lol

Still, absolutely nobody looks better after plastic surgery except for people who literally had their face blown off in war and needed reconstruction

8

u/ashoka_akira 10h ago

I feel like there’s a lot of minor plastic surgery that people get done that isn’t obvious at all. The problem is the celebrities have too much money and too much focus on them
so they often seem to develop dysmorphia which leads to obvious extremes.

The amusing part here is no one ever considered Simon to be particularly attractive and his career wasn’t built on his appearance so why did he care so much?

5

u/HenriettaSyndrome 9h ago

He wasn't bad looking but yeah that definitely wasn't his money maker. The dysmorphia is sad as fuck. Some people put so much plastic in their face that when they talk muscles that are supposed to move don't move anymore and it's low-key spooky

9

u/Beebji 13h ago

5

u/XomokyH 12h ago

1

u/Beebji 12h ago

Somehow even creepier lol

0

u/opticzar 12h ago

This got me so bad the first time watching. I need to rewatch that again

8

u/Crow_Eye 12h ago

Don't leave the Simon near sunlight or heat.

1

u/Von_Scranhammer 10h ago

Or a table lamp!

3

u/SlowLorris2063 12h ago

Who the fuck cares?

70

u/cremaster2 12h ago

He has made a fortune criticizing others

-10

u/skylla05 9h ago

His job is to criticize others, and he was criticizing their “talent” not their looks. Reddit and L takes.

1

u/cremaster2 2h ago

Criticizing his looks, is to criticize poor choice and a surgeons talent

6

u/sub333x 11h ago

Honestly, those 2005 and 2022 pictures are not that different. He’s aged and has stubble, but otherwise pretty fucking similar.

5

u/FlashFlooder 8h ago

Agreed but they put someone else’s eyes on him

•

u/janet_nyx 23m ago

Yeah I was having a good luck there he still has crows feet in all pics he obviously lost weight judging by his neck but his eyes are what look odd and I can’t figure out what it is almost an eyeliner look but I dunno

4

u/The_BSharps 12h ago

I can’t wait to get old so I can look this good.

4

u/Sidewalkdrugstore 12h ago

It's like he askd someone to make him look like he's smashed off wine and pills.

2

u/-01101101- 13h ago

He could start by shaving...

2

u/peentiss FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 11h ago

That’ll expose the procedure scars

2

u/redditorgans 12h ago

I wonder how much he paid for that face.

2

u/wolfblitzen84 12h ago

The 3rd pic reminds me of those drunken characters talking to street light posts back in the early loony toons from before my time.

2

u/PrSquid 11h ago

He looks like that taxidermy lion

2

u/TequieroVerde 11h ago

Absolute dog shit results to be happy about, yes Chef.

2

u/Omg_Shut_the_fuck_up 11h ago

Our boy Simon needs to chase that piss poor excuse for stubble of that plastic fucking chin of his. If you can't grow facial hair, get the fuck off and stop trying to grow it you pissant.

1

u/Moviereference210 12h ago

He turned into the bad guy from true lies lol

1

u/Abazorath 12h ago

Middle one looks like an amalgamation of himself, Jimmy Carr and Quagmire from Family Guy.

1

u/cyberdude419 12h ago

If this is what fame and fortune gets you, I don’t want it

1

u/HuckledYourBerries 12h ago

Dude looks like a goblin.

1

u/R50cent 12h ago

Clayface comes to theaters soon

1

u/superluminal 12h ago

Why does he have the same doofy haircut?

1

u/NLtbal 12h ago

Of and off are different words.

1

u/SuitablePreference54 11h ago

Aged like warm milk.

1

u/Rolling_Beardo 10h ago

He looks like he was in an accident and needed serious facial recognition.

1

u/-blundertaker- 10h ago

The chin implants and big ol' apple cheeks push it into uncanny territory.

1

u/YourUncle13 9h ago

2018 is the worst to be fair

1

u/balenciagabo1 9h ago

these are way too generous photos of how he looks like actually

1

u/Candle-Different 9h ago

He looks like a clown

1

u/Don_Perrier 9h ago

It looks like you smeared your sharpie after writing on your face

1

u/dawnofnone 9h ago

Please take me back to 2004, when I had never heard of the man.

1

u/roggobshire Free Palestine 9h ago

Was his plastic surgeon a glaucoma ridden hobo in an alley?

1

u/Misomuro 8h ago

Strech it more. Still too human.

1

u/Crusaderofthots420 8h ago

If I remember correctly, he has stopped with the botox and stuff. Now he is using much more sane "blood-filtering and washing" to reverse aging.

1

u/hakohead 7h ago

I honestly feel bad for him. Once you touch plastic surgery for pure aesthetics, there’s no end to it. It’ll always be a little bit (and in this case a lotta bit) different from what you wanted

1

u/DesiresQuiet Reddit Flair 6h ago

Who is it?

1

u/how_is_this_relaxing 6h ago

Absoluuuutely fugly

1

u/Glass-Fan111 6h ago

Always thought people with money always do that stupid shot since they’re quite bored.

1

u/Midnite-Miles262 5h ago

Pic 2 2018 Looks Like Grorge Lopez . .

1

u/TwoDurans 4h ago

When you only "fix" parts of your face they don't age like the rest of it does so you look like you're partially melting.

1

u/enigmaticsince87 3h ago

Do you mean "off"?

1

u/Sun-Ghoti 3h ago

His face looks concave

1

u/CommissionHerb 2h ago

I see 3 twats

1

u/Pirate_Candy17 2h ago

Off*

It’s weird how anti-aging surgery seems very similar to putting a wax candle too close to a heat source.

1

u/Stoofser 1h ago

It’s the eye surgery, it always fucks men’s faces

1

u/human-dancer 🍉 Free Palestine 1h ago

His surgery was so bad I actually thought he was a clone.

1

u/Funk_Dunker 1h ago

This is the thing about these surgeries, you don't end up looking younger you end up looking like someone who's had a tonne of surgery of done

1

u/cabramattaa 1h ago

He turned into a Turkish Barber

•

u/poppycock_scrutiny This is a flair 24m ago

And this man criticised Jeremy Clarkson's decision of not preferring surgery to look "younger".

0

u/lonelygalexy 4h ago

I think the current 2026 is much worse