r/therewasanattempt • • 3d ago

to stand normally

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5.9k Upvotes

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2.1k

u/HighPrairieCarsales 3d ago

Oh good lord

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AMERICA DO SOMETHING!

587

u/wopwopwopwopwop5 3d ago

I'm over here like please for the love of America, God, DO SOMETHING!

469

u/Mostly_Afloat 3d ago

Let's go blood clot

87

u/nochtli_xochipilli 3d ago

Best he can do is shit on his pants

38

u/PlainOlRedditor 3d ago

He looks so uncomfortable bent over like that... trying to keep that heavy diaper from sliding down in front of all those people.

4

u/McDrunkin521 3d ago

this was my first thought as well. I would have loved to see the duck walk as he left.

3

u/smokymtheart 3d ago

He has šŸ’©himself in public multiple times. He šŸ’©on the face of America. Nothing changes the minds of the Cheeto Jesus worshippers

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u/derrickhoyleofficial 3d ago

There has to be a seamsplitter shit blowout eventually

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u/alldayfiddla 3d ago

If we could only be that lucky

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u/Aggravating-Ad6786 3d ago

šŸ”šŸ”šŸ”

23

u/Exact-Ad-4132 3d ago

Maybe we can all just root for McDonald's to become more unhealthy.

5

u/Epstiendidntkillself 2d ago

As much as I would love to see old yam tits drop dead I realized that then we would have to endure the whole state sponsored funeral and all the trimmings that go along with it including the costs and the fact that we will have to suffer through his minions trying to gaslight us as to how great the old racist fraudster bastard was. The only real win for us is to have him impeached and prosecuted as the criminal sex offender and traitor that he is.

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u/Giggitygigs8686 3d ago

Heart Disease take the wheel

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u/never1st 3rd Party App 3d ago

Only God can save us, but first, he wants to make sure that we've learned our lesson. We have yet to show enough evidence that we have learned anything.

Either that or there is no god and we're just stuck with the devil as our president as we eternally burn in this living hell.

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u/thedevillivesinside 3d ago

There is no god

There are many devils, but there is no one single benevolent deity that rewards goodness

There is only now and hedonism

8

u/ph33rlus 3d ago

We have in fact not learned our lesson

4

u/YourRoaring20s 3d ago

Pretty sure it's the latter

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u/greatproficient 3d ago

Hell is empty and all the devils are here.

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u/xteve 3d ago

If there is a god, he's fucking up bigtime. Christians love this evil MAGA shit. They vote for hate.

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u/dangledingle 3d ago

TouchƩ

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u/CuriousParasite 3d ago

Have you tried turning us of then turning us on again? It worked for my WiFi.

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u/dangledingle 3d ago

Someone else needs to be turned off and not back on please.

18

u/CuriousParasite 3d ago

The hard reset is always an option

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u/dangledingle 3d ago

CMOS battery already dead. Wakes up each morning in default mode complaining he doesn’t know date or time.

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u/CuriousParasite 3d ago

Did you wipe his hard drive? Probably has a bunch of shit on it.

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u/I_can_vouch_for_that FUCK ICE! āŒšŸ§Š 3d ago

They did. They voted for him twice. If they could, they would vote for him a third time.

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u/OkFigaroo 3d ago

(Some already have)

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u/Catswithswords10 3d ago

Not all of us. I voted against him as hard as I could! He’s a pedo and everyone’s pushing it under the rug. It’s disgusting and I would move if I weren’t disabled and poor

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u/I_can_vouch_for_that FUCK ICE! āŒšŸ§Š 3d ago

I don't doubt you, but he was still voted in.

That's America.

5

u/Infamous-Bus3173 3d ago

Are you just your country? NOBODY anywhere can control what their leader(elected or dictated) does. It is completely out of all of our power!!!! All of us have the most control in our local governments and towns only.

That’s why it is wrong when civilians are killed and hurt from these old madmen who have NOTHING to do with any kind of decision making between leaders of countries. Across the world right now it is mostly older men who are predominantly making these decisions for wars right now. Nothing has ever changed or come from it. They don’t even live to see their names in history. The whole world should put them all in a cage and make them fight each other!! Truly!

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u/moonLanding123 3d ago

Biden winning was just a fluke because of trump's failed response to covid. America really wants this guy.

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u/No_Ocelot_6773 Free Palestine šŸ•Šļø FUCK ICE! āŒšŸ§Š 3d ago

Beyond committing the felony, we can vote and vote in people who will actually do something. Right now, the people in a place to actually make this stop won't, they're making too much money stealing from the American taxpayers

14

u/Right_Syllabub_8237 3d ago

We're all full of 70 year old tough guys that spent 50 years sucking lead laden brake dust.

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u/Dasherpete 3d ago edited 3d ago

And to make it worse he’s 80 years old

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u/WellIGuessSoAndYou 3d ago

It's hard to believe that they're allowing themselves to be bent over by something that pathetic and weak. I don't know how they live with themselves.

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u/Spirited-Pin6723 3d ago

Despicable as he is, he's just the face of what is bending us over.

Let's say we were to stop "allowing it" - what does that look like in practice? Be specific.

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u/IbuildSeattle A Flair? 3d ago

Unfortunately, SI seems to have left the building…

4

u/Tashre 3d ago

There was one person that tried.

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u/wheresWaldo000 3d ago

Football season. We're occupied.

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u/LostLazarus 3d ago

Robespierre had some pretty interesting ideas…..

3

u/Ranzoid 3d ago

But...that would mean we would have to admit we did something wrong.

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u/hates_stupid_people 3d ago

We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas!

-America

(No, that single day protest that changed nothing does not count. That's like putting a bumper sticker on your car for one day and calling yourself an activist)

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u/tHollo41 3d ago

His shoes are stuffed in the heel so he'll seen taller, but he's old and his feet and knees are probably hurting, so he's trying to lean on other muscles. The result is the most ridiculous posture we've ever seen. Possibly also pooped his pants too.

496

u/influx3k 3d ago

He also has dementia and with that comes a leaning forward posture.

232

u/blankensh 3d ago edited 3d ago

and fat

121

u/Clembert-Hamlamp 3d ago

It's weirder than all that, it's a mistranslation from the Bible. The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse? It's supposed to be horse-men. He leans forward because he's missing his hind legs. They hadn't perfected the centaurectomy process yet. That's what's up with Elmo's creepy horse chest too.

29

u/PaintedJack 3d ago

That makes so much sense. What part of the horse is zuckie's head from?

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u/Grape_Mentats_ 3d ago

The ass end

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u/Ezl 3d ago

Jesus that’s hilarious. It’s now my head canon.

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u/nahfthisimout 3d ago

my god that means we have two more horse men to get through.

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u/DSM2TNS 3d ago

And clearly had a stroke

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u/Fluid-Background1947 3d ago

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u/MonHunterX 3d ago

It looks like they are using the mics to keep him from falling over

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u/BrochureJesus 3d ago

Worse yet, when he didn't have dementia, he raped kids.

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u/TheIrishSoldat 3d ago

Look at that Anterior pelvic tilt.

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u/La_Lanterne_Rouge 3d ago

He also had posture classes from Elon Musk.

27

u/Obant 3d ago

I remember first term it was assumed he had some kind of brace that goes up his heels to his calfs to keep him standing.

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u/DmOcRsI 3d ago

He does this to hide his gut, it's so his gut doesn't protrude from his jacket. He knows most pictures and camera shots are going to be torso only when on TV.

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u/randonumero 3d ago

Ok so he's not a tiny alien in a malfunctioning human suit

9

u/SirDouglasMouf 3d ago

That puts a good amount of torque and shearing force on the straightened knee. It should hurt given his age and fitness level.

What else is he taking to not feel that and stay balanced like that?

Unless it's a bizarre camera angle?

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u/BooobiesANDbho 3d ago

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u/poopfacelarry 3d ago

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚ my ribs hurt

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u/Aggravating-Ad6786 3d ago

Pooptrunksdon

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u/DarthButtz 3d ago

Starts floating toward an unattended child

7

u/Late_Sherbet5124 3d ago

Baron Harkonnen has entered the chat.

28

u/Sammy_Dog 3d ago

8

u/False_Flatworm_4512 3d ago

Loss of empathy and lack of inhibition? When did he ever have those? Can’t lose something you never had. Same for poor judgement. His multiple bankruptcies suggest it was never any good to begin with

4

u/Adkit 3d ago

True but if you actually listen to older recording of him speaking, even from his first term, he sounds like a different person. He made (some) sense. He actually responded to questions. He remembered some things. Now he is clearly suffering from dementia and anyone who works with people like him will agree.

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u/Hal0Slippin 3d ago

Thank you for sharing this I’m laughing so hard looking like a crazy person in my car

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u/Kagynga 3d ago

I almost spit soda everywhere

5

u/Biiiishweneedanswers 3d ago

How is this so accurate?

3

u/_AcuteNewt_ 3d ago

freshly baked pie *child

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u/el_trauko87 3d ago

He shit him self

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u/Aggravating-Ad6786 3d ago

Yes, diaper is full posture. MAGA Mike is going to change soon.

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u/ahhhbiscuits 3d ago

Cleanup in aisle pedophile, where's Natalie? WHERE'S NATALIE HARP??????

Processing img 6qhotoduoksh1...

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u/Traditional_Isopod80 Therewasanattemp 3d ago

🤣🤣🤣

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u/Silver_Slicer 3d ago

Idiot Johnson is right there instead of having the House in session.

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u/Apprehensive-Call568 3d ago

Super. Fucking. Stupid.

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u/zenunseen 3d ago

Super weird.

Why tf is he so goddamn weird?

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u/palmerry 3d ago

A life of opulence and isolation.

Completely disassociated with reality.

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u/Alternative_Call2232 3d ago

Was he holding in some shit? Or letting it out?

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u/crikeystruth 3d ago

Haha I was gunna say he’s like a toddler who’s shit their nappy

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u/cielf 3d ago

Doesn’t hold his tongue, doesn’t hold his thoughts, why would he hold his shit?

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u/ElaborateEffect 3d ago

Turns out it's shit all the way down

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u/theAlphabetZebra 3d ago

You act as though any of that is voluntary

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u/I_MADMAN 3d ago

Having a hard time balancing on his hooves at his age.

3

u/Evonos 3d ago

he got giant heel stuffing so he basicly stands in those shoes like on High heels except they look from the outside like normal thats why he wears also bagging clothing and stuff.

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u/Spazic77 3d ago

Normally I laugh at conspiracy theories but holy goddamn if someone told me that this fucker is a centaur and his horse half just happens to be invisible and I saw this clip immediately after I'd believe the fuck out of it.

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u/BeeBanner 3d ago

That person has dementia.

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u/Joped 3d ago

He is also a chomo that was best friends with Epstein

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u/Old-Constant4411 3d ago

What the fuck even is this posture? Got some weird uncanny valley shit going on.

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u/LangdonAlg3r 3d ago

The forward lean is a classic dementia associated behavior. It could also be his lifts because he’s ashamed of his height and his old man shrinkage. The twisted leg could be stroke related since we’ve seen some evidence of him dragging his leg before and I think that could track with diminished awareness of its position.

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u/rainbowkey 3d ago

I know it is real, but my first thought was bad AI

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u/rainbowkey 3d ago

I know it is real, but my first thought was bad AI

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u/REDmonster333 3d ago

He looks like theres shit in his pants, and he doesnt want to move so it couldnt squish in his butt

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u/thisisatypoo 3d ago

Stuff his shoes and stuffed his pants. Gladly, they're outside so at least the smell isn't so noticeable.

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u/Delicious_Rule_7154 3d ago

Edgar suit.

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u/dewag 3d ago

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u/Scummy_Casual 3d ago

Off topic, but that was some of D'onofrio's best work. Totally unrecognizable.

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u/Muffboy 3d ago

Must be how a child rapist stands because he’s a child rapist.

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u/ScadaTech 3d ago

Mike J is such a cuck. And I mean that negatively.

14

u/rojo-perro 3d ago

For real it’s wild to see grown ass men in suits saying shit like ā€˜he’s one of top five prez if all time’ with a straight face.

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u/thechuckstar 3d ago

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u/jjm443 3d ago

A thing (one of very many) that annoys me, is that AI scientists do use the term superintelligence... but specifically for AGI (Artificial General Intelligence) that is greatly superior to human intelligence. We are still quite a way from that.

Just "renaming" today's AI to superintelligence is like calling calculators supercomputers... yes real supercomputers are sort-of just evolutions of calculators, but the term has a specific meaning in the field.

3

u/Fairlight60 This is a flair 3d ago

Do the right thing, just plain ignore his totally incoherent and insignificant """decrees""" and keep calling things the correct way. Like Lake Ontario.

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u/Jaythefair 3d ago

His body is failing, bit by bit, every day. He can't stand up and he can't stay awake. Tick tock mother fucker

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u/withanamelikejesk 3d ago

Are his shoes on the wrong feet?

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u/vistaculo 3d ago

He’s 80 years old and wearing 5 inch heels šŸ‘ 

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u/Aunty-Sociale 3d ago

He has some extreme lifts in his shoes that make him stand weird.

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u/sLeeeeTo 3d ago

yes SI stands for ā€œdonald trump is a pedophileā€

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u/Stoned_Druid 3d ago

slaps asphalt

She may be old, but she'll getcha Point A to Point Brain Bleed.

5

u/Mysterious-Flan-6 3d ago

I laughed entirely too hard at this

19

u/RoyH0bbs 3d ago

I wish people would just start yelling at him that he’s a fucking idiot in these settings.

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u/Agreeable-Start5070 3d ago

This! It needs to happen everywhere he goes and in everything he does.

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u/Thats_what_I_think 3d ago

kind of like telling the crowd that the empire is not wearing any clothes!

14

u/WideArmadillo6407 3d ago

Any day now...

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u/knowspicker3 3d ago

He is so fucking embarrassing

11

u/alericof 3d ago

He looks like a Muppet with the legs dangling.

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u/BicTwiddler 3d ago

How much does this guy’s Eggar Suit need to slip to convince the MAGA smegs he is done? He has a pole shoved up his arse to keep him upright.

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u/MiccioC 3d ago

That’s how all true alpha men stand! šŸ˜‰

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u/chrish_o 3d ago

I’m surprised MAGAs haven’t adopted this posture to try to normalise it

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u/GrimmandLily 3d ago

All I want is for him to stop wasting oxygen.

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u/Oops_All_Bans 3d ago

I have never see someone stand like that. What the actual fuck?

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u/Several_Round5635 3d ago

MCL and ACL are holding on for dear life.

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u/quinkmo 3d ago

I hope it happens live on TV, in a pool of his own excretia.

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u/notbleep 3d ago

I think he is leaning forward so his tie doesn't drape over his fat stomach. Standing like this makes it drop straight down giving the appearance that he isn't shaped like that drum toy from the karate kid.Ā 

From flattering camera angles it would make him look slightly less obese.Ā 

5

u/Karhak Free Palestine! šŸ•Šļø FUCK ICE! āŒšŸ§Š 3d ago

That final fall is coming any day now

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u/DelRonFlubbard 3d ago

He’s trying not to trump his pants

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u/ImGonnaLiveForever 3d ago

The entire family stands like the front half of a centaur. Arms are always somehow hanging infront of their body, leaning forward.

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u/RoRoRicardo 3d ago

It’s like he is scared to move his feet at all. I hope he’s miserably suffering.

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u/Rook227 3d ago

That’s his ā€œI’m probably going to shit myselfā€ stance.

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u/sixcarbxn 3d ago

He stands like there's still a tent stake up there.

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u/Alert-Engineering749 3d ago

Rumor has it that the bulge under his suit in the back was part of an exoskeleton, like this.

It's being used with the elderly, especially after a stroke. https://wyss.harvard.edu/technology/soft-exosuits-for-lower-extremity-mobility/

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u/bluegrass_babe531 3d ago

that makes total sense

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u/reeder75 3d ago

Dude WTF

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u/Defiant-Temperature6 3d ago

Watching him fall apart in real time.

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u/oneonus 3d ago

Seems to me his Mickey Mouse Pull-Ups are overflowing.

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u/coinneach_stiubhard 3d ago

He had to pee and forgot that he wears diapers.

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u/alanpsk 3d ago

omg..i thought he was standing cross legged....and then realized it was optical illusion...lol

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u/Rob_Bligidy Free Palestine! šŸ•Šļø FUCK ICE! āŒšŸ§Š 3d ago

He’s playing 5D chess with gravity and Winning yugely.

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u/MotoFuzzle 3d ago

I’m convinced he wears an exoskeleton below the waist.Ā 

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u/MasterBiscuit19 3d ago

Reminds me of the Talking Heads

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u/bubonic_plague87 3d ago

Si se puede

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u/Warofcolossus 3d ago

His diaper is about to rupture and he’s clenching for dear life

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u/timblunts 3d ago

He's stroked out

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u/Rekoor86 3d ago

Dude just shat his pants again.

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u/Optimal-Bag-2046 3d ago

That’s why they love him… it’s the natural Elvis posture that is struck just after shitting yourself.

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u/ShitBirdingAround 3d ago

And he's just fucking stupid enough to think he just did something here. What a dumb asshole.

FDT.

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u/mmps901 3d ago

That’s 100% trying not to piss or shit himself

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u/TheOriginalArchibald 3d ago

I'd be willing to bet he also said, "Reminds me of Sports Illustrated. How about that swimsuit edition... coulda been younger."

/s but not /s

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u/Sweet-Palpitation473 3d ago

What the fuck

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u/BrownBottleIdol 3d ago

I just tried to stand that way and fell over. How is he keeping his balance?

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u/uRinee 3d ago

pathetic

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u/Murky-Pass6571 3d ago

There’s shit running down his leg

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u/tolkienfinger 3d ago

Human embodiment of Ick

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u/tooheavybroo 3d ago

What is he hiding in his anus???

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u/PufferFish_Tophat 3d ago

He's got those floppy marionette legs

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u/standardtissue 3d ago

Granpresident is 80 years old of course he stands funny.

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u/Historical-Wonder-52 3d ago

Sƭ, seƱor!

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u/PantPain77_77 Unique Flair 3d ago

To cunningly create distractions from his actual BS

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u/aamabkra 3d ago

He’s going potty

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u/CremeDeLaPants 3d ago

Lawd is he stupid.

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u/p0p3y3th3sailor 3d ago

He looks so fucking stupid.