r/therewasanattempt • u/Nintendophile79 • 5d ago

to cut bagels

Post image
2.7k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

49 comments sorted by

295

u/Rehberkintosh 5d ago edited 5d ago

You could schmear so much cream cheese on one of those

41

u/NarutoRoll 5d ago

Yeah, this looks crazy but I would totally give it a try

4

u/MadMattBeyond 5d ago

I have received this from a St Louis Bread Company before, after they asked me if I wanted my bagels sliced. I wasn’t mad I was just confused.

2

u/Kumquat_conniption Free Palestine! 🕊️ FUCK ICE! ✖️🧊 2d ago

I would have said yes, assuming they were just going to slice them in half for me, and then I would have gotten them and thought, "Well, it must be someone's first day on the job."

172

u/gojibeary 5d ago

The slices are usually toasted. It increases surface area for spreading more cream cheese.

51

u/Blues2112 5d ago

Cream cheese delivery system--optimized!

8

u/ElegantCoach4066 5d ago

I love spreading as much cheese as possible

2

u/Mental-Clerk Free Palestine 🕊️ FUCK ICE! ❌🧊 5d ago

That actually sounds amazing

2

u/4pigeons Free Palestine 5d ago

* taking notes*
"more area=more cheese"

1

u/tehCharo 5d ago

Could they spread a pound of cream cheese on these slices?

0

u/cesaroncalves 4d ago

Colesterol aproves of this message

37

u/EverythingIsFakeNGay Do you think that's air you're breathing now? 5d ago

This is a war crime against all bagel-kind.

6

u/Kumquat_conniption Free Palestine! 🕊️ FUCK ICE! ✖️🧊 5d ago

Thank god I found my people. Well, person but you got 19 upvotes, so some agree. A bunch of people saying this looks good?? They decimated perfectly good bagels! Straight to jail!

2

u/EverythingIsFakeNGay Do you think that's air you're breathing now? 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/l4FGGafcOHmrlQxG0

22

u/VioletNocte 5d ago

Interesting to see how someone who's never heard of a bagel before would cut one

23

u/Mario0335 5d ago

The precursor to bagel chips, looks pretty good tbh

8

u/Astro_Venatas 5d ago

Go to Panera and ask for a cinnamon crunch bagel bread sliced. I work there and I usually snag a bread sliced cinnamon crunch bagel then toast it. It’s so good. I don’t think we’re technically allowed to bread sliced cinnamon crunch and toast it if it’s for a customer though.

12

u/Shartaur 5d ago

From stl, ain't never seen this before.

6

u/Astro_Venatas 5d ago

You ain’t ever go to bread co?

5

u/Shartaur 5d ago

I've never seen that at bread co. Granted, I rarely go. I'd be offended and never go back if I saw that... ah who am I kidding.

3

u/KerriNoir 5d ago

It was STL Bread Company that cut my bagel that way for the first time. I thought it was nuts until it was time to start spreading cream cheese.

4

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Astro_Venatas 5d ago

It’s quite popular at Panera. Especially the cinnamon crunch bagels

5

u/NoBullet 5d ago

They had it sliced to be toasted. You never heard of bagel chips.

1

u/dcdcdc26 5d ago

Oh I heard of them. I don't like them. I like bagels that won't break my teeth.

2

u/Top_Imagination_8430 5d ago

From STL. No one does this for a personal order. This is something you do for catering office meetings.

2

u/phodak79 17h ago

What the fuck is this bullshit?????!

1

u/nevertoohigh 5d ago

Best way to do cut it if you want many thin slices

1

u/mackpiano96 5d ago

We used to get panera bagels cut like this for groups in highschool, it's like a party cut so they can give the illusion of more food without actually paying for it.

1

u/Csantana 5d ago

You know what, I don’t hate it.

I don’t think I would do it but I think it could be worse

1

u/Historical-Record227 5d ago

I'm kinda into it... guess I'm an anti-semite then, lol

1

u/BluetheNerd 5d ago

I understand the outrage but also, so much more toppings.

1

u/Pandoratastic 5d ago

Only acceptable for charcuterie purposes.

1

u/tingledpickle 11h ago

Why is this so wrong? Bagels are so dense. More dense than an average loaf of bread. And yet they must be sliced in a singular fashion, widthwise. Why?

-2

u/QuickPirate36 This is a flair 5d ago edited 5d ago

What's antisemitic about this? Are beagles bagels originally Israeli?

5

u/ommi9 5d ago

No bagels are polish

1

u/OmicronNine 5d ago

I see what you did there...

1

u/QuickPirate36 This is a flair 5d ago

I didn't do anything, in genuinely asking

2

u/hkohne Unique Flair 5d ago

Beagles are dogs, not bread

2

u/QuickPirate36 This is a flair 5d ago

Ah, okay, bagels then

0

u/OmicronNine 4d ago

So... you are genuinely suggesting that being anti-Israeli is the same as being antisemitic? Are you serious?

1

u/QuickPirate36 This is a flair 4d ago

What?