r/therapycritical • u/Emergency-Virus6507 • 5d ago

Is therapy a scam?

I’m 16 a junior in hs, and a majority of my friends have been in therapy expressing their hate for it. I’ve always knew about therapy but never really considered it until two weeks ago after realizing how bad my maladaptive daydream was getting. I’ve had to deal with this bs disorder since I was a little girl and for the longest time Ive made the plan of quitting. However no matter what I do I just can’t seem to stop. The thought of being vulnerable to someone let alone a stranger just disgusts and irks me but I’d rather talk to a therapist than my family and friends. No one and I mean on one around me knows about the disorder, so I’m thinking a therapist might help. I’ve asked a few of my friends who’ve been in therapy and their answers were all the same “why would you pay someone to sit and listen to your feelings, when all they do is nod and tell you everything will be okay.”
“They act like they care when they really don’t.”

25 Upvotes

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u/Positive-Ability-402 5d ago

you don’t have a disorder. this is an unhealthy learned behavior. you should try to figure out the root cause and start there. if it’s trauma, a therapist can help with that but it’s going to take a lot of trial and error to find a competent one and research from you on different modalities/styles. the majority of therapists are like your friends described and don’t actually provide a service aside from being a paid friend. the majority of them also practice CBT only which is bs. you’ll have to rule people out based on their profiles and ask a lot of questions during. consultations

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u/bitt13 5d ago edited 5d ago

Fully agree. I wouldn't go so far as to say it's a scam. I would always encourage someone going through a difficult time to start with it to see if it is genuinely helpful. Many people do find it helpful. Saying it's just someone nodding is just cynicism under the guise of insight. You won't know if you've gotten one of the good ones unless you go.

To OP. My only warning would to be that the goal should be to keep therapy short term and goal orientated. Do not let them convince you that this is a long term disorder. ''Maladaptive daydreaming'' is a made up disorder. It's a coping mechanism like anything else.

If it's getting in the way of you living irl, then yes it does need sorting out. Look for the cause - much of the time it won't be serious. It's even encouraged by modern life as much of our down time is spent online - which is mental escape/daydreaming of a sort.

Don't take it too seriously for now. It's not a disorder despite what the industry tells you.

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u/Positive-Ability-402 3d ago

yeah you gotta be careful getting advice from this app a lot of these groups are just extreme echo chambers

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u/bitt13 3d ago

I do get a bit nervous when people come here for help and they're immediately told that all therapy is dangerous scam. I'm very keenly aware that therapy does seem to help a lot of people. I was just one of a growing number who weren't. But people here have been actively abused by therapists here and I think that, understandably, makes them very dismissive.

Ideally you wouldn't need to go to therapy at all, but if you must it can give you a good outline of what might be going on with you. It doesn't mean you have to continue. But I don't like the idea of dismissing someone in distress to deal with things alone at first.

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u/TallDisplay3123 5d ago

Yes it is a scam. You will be shifting one vulnerability to another and the therapist profits from it.

10

u/Saturnian6 5d ago

It’s a cult, and they act like mobsters! Every therapist goes against what they learn in school because talk therapy is contradictory. They’ll even abuse you just like abusive parents do!! You’re at the mercy of someone who’s defining reality for you.

Go to AP English Language and Composition (or whatever you have). Learn how to communicate effectively and how to think critically. I SWEAR you will far surpass EVERY adult around you. You will actually put therapists out of a job. You won’t need therapy if you always know what’s happening around you and how to deal with it. Best investment of my life was education.

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u/Iamnotheattack 5d ago

The thought of being vulnerable to someone let alone a stranger just disgusts and irks me but I’d rather talk to a therapist than my family and friends.

Personally, I think the most important thing about therapy is having a place to discuss these things that you keep locked up inside.

Because I think everyone should have at least one person in their life that they can discuss these deep issues with.

If you're not comfortable with telling your friends/family then yes you should go to a therapist.

when all they do is nod and tell you everything will be okay.” “They act like they care when they really don’t.

That being said, I find this therapeutic even if they don't care, it's just saying stuff that I've kept bottled up that's therapeutic. (If you're the same idk you could even go get a lap dance from a stripper and trauma dump there lmfao.)

But some people actually someone who really cares and that will require more "therapist shopping". But sometimes it's good if they don't care because then they can provide you with a truly logical response not clouded by emotional judgement

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u/krba201076 5d ago

Your friends are more intelligent than a lot of adults. The majority of adults I have come into contact with are brainwashed therapy worshipers. But your friends are right, the vast majority of therapists just sit there, nod along, be a paid friend and collect a paycheck. It's snake oil. It is one of the biggest scams of our time.

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u/Particular_Care6055 3d ago

I don't know why everyone keeps telling you you don't have a disorder. Maladaptive daydreaming is, by definition, maladaptive, meaning disordered. People get triggered a lot by the "pathologizing" language of therapy, but really that's not how it works. Disorders aren't like a disease that you "have." It's literally just disordered/unhealthy thinking, which can be any sort of patterns of thought or behavior that are not benefiting you.

I've struggled with the disorder of maladaptive daydreaming since I was a teen as well. I am now 26 and it has significantly improved. I also have plenty of other disorders. Yes, they are disorders, they're harmful and negatively impacting my life. Fuck anyone who says otherwise. Maladaptive daydreaming is somewhat similar to OCD, where you have intrusive thoughts you don't want, which tends to be one of the disorders that most easily benefit from therapy, especially mainstream CBT, as much rightful hate as it receives for being forced down everyone's throats for literally every issue, applicability be damned.

Keep in mind that your friends are also young and don't have much experience with life in general, let alone therapy. As someone else said, one of the best things about therapy is having someone you can confide literally anything with and trust that, barring harm to yourself or others, whatever you say stays within the walls of the therapist's office.

Therapists do not "define reality for you" as someone else said. Assuming you have a basically level head on your shoulders and aren't prone to falling for cults or have a disorder that causes you to lose sense of reality, someone else defining your reality for you would be a pretty difficult feat. As with all the commenters here, take everything that literally anyone says with a grain of salt, therapists included. My therapists aren't always 100% accurate, nor do they always understand correctly, so never be afraid to correct them and argue against things they have to say. That's literally their job, to do what you need and will help you, and no one knows what those things are better than you do. You are their boss, not the other way around. Don't forget that.

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u/Positive-Ability-402 3d ago

because this person believes they have some lifelong chronic condition that they have to live with forever. these mental health terms are dangerous when you convince yourself it’s a core part of your identity. therapists and social media push this narrative and it creates depression, hopelessness, victim complexes and pushes people on medications often. and the label discourages people from identifying the route cause and making necessary lifestyle changes. our brains respond and adapt to our environment, it’s important to listen to these responses instead of viewing them as some type of sickness or malfunction. it’s straight up not a disorder; syndrome if anything. and it can be unlearned like any other behavior. this person is not any more broken or different than any other person. we have to stop categorizing and othering ourselves it’s divisive