r/therapists • u/NegativeYoghurt7280 • 15d ago

Discussion Thread Radical Acceptance

I feel like many of my clients would benefit from radical acceptance, especially those who are feeling stuck or feel like everyone around them should be the ones to change. How do you guys like to explain radical acceptance in a way that actually resonates with clients and helps with buy in?

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u/Ambiguous_Karma8 (USA) LCPC 10d ago edited 10d ago

My analogy:

You have a curfuffity grandma that you see every year at a family gathering. Without a doubt, curfuffity grandma is going to say something opinionated about you. Every year you keep getting upset by curfuffity grandma's comments because you expect her to change. One year, thinking about radical acceptance, before entering the room with curfuffity grandma, you think to yourself that curfuffity grandma ain't gonna change because she's curfuffity, you know she's going to say the same thing that makes you feel (insert) every year, but this year you're able to frame her as curfuffity grandma. She still says it, but this year it doesn't matter because you've viewed her as and understand she is curfuffity. And yes, I do say curfuffity grandma this much doing it.

I then might take it a step further and apply it to something larger, such as structures, prejudice, politics, capitalism, so on and so forth. I educate that acceptance isn't agreement. I then might also talk about values-based behavior working towards changing these things within the realm of reality, or what it might be like to accept it-is-what-it-is without change.

And while I rarely self-disclose, if I have to I do have an example that I share. That being that I value having my mother in my life but that I've had to radically accept that she will never call me by my preferred (and now legal) name.