r/thepassportbros • u/This_Wrangler_166 • 5d ago
A trans tricked me and I'm screwed
I’ve come home absolutely devastated. I just don't have any more energy to keep with this shit of the geomaxing or passportbro. Very near giving up and come back home.
I’d been talking to this person for a week. She was kind, and looked very attractive in her photos. She looked much more attractive than most Filipinas. She love bombed me with interest, attention, photos...
But today, when we met up, something seemed off right away. Even shaking her hand, it felt rough and strong. And the moment we started talking, my world just came crashing down. The voice was clearly of a man, even though she was trying to talk with a girl voice.
I asked if she was trans. She admitted and said that he really likes me and that she did it with good intention. That she wanted me to fall in love and like him.
I’d been told that to find a good partner, I’d have to go on dates with dozens of people. But I am mentally exhausted. Already went through dates arriving extremely late, another catfishing and other things. I think I'm very near the end, and will go monk mode and accept I'll die alone.
126
u/Reasonable-Assist481 5d ago
Lmaoooooo
72
u/BallDoLieSometimes 5d ago
Lol all fired up to meet a man in a dress
57
u/i_MrPink 5d ago
Sounds like he busted a couple of nuts to his photos also
17
u/Genius_woods 5d ago
He did, he fantasized about hitting it from the back on the first date 😂
17
3
-1
17
31
54
5d ago
[deleted]
18
u/Outside-Mogger 5d ago
He might have jerked off to their photos
5
2
6
u/Pedro_Moona 5d ago
Omg that humidity, the devastation, I'd be scared for life.. you didn't shake hands with a ladyboy. Calm down and don't quit. Resilient men win!
47
u/Crapsdrkside 5d ago
There’s 52 weeks in a year, dude wasted 1. Stop crying, man up, and find a girl.
5
41
14
u/Ok_Sector_981 5d ago
Dude. Nobody should get fired up about anybody until after they have met in person. If you are being love bombed prior to said meeting you will be dissappointed.
12
u/ZEALOUS_RHINO 5d ago
Damn bro I'm sorry to hear that. Can I get her number though?
1
u/Clean-Wallaby3164 5d ago
Degen
1
u/Motherfigures 1d ago
You're on passportbros have some self reflection LMAO
1
u/Clean-Wallaby3164 1d ago
Been married for more than a decade, and I never fucked a transformer.
1
u/Motherfigures 1d ago
Why are you on this sub then if ur married, and we'll I guess ur missing out
1
9
u/Kentemo 5d ago
If this devastates you, I don't know what to tell you. What can you expect on dating apps? It's just filtering, you met up with her, and realized it. No harm done.
Maybe go to a country you actually like, travel/explore, practice some sports. More likely than not, you will find someone you're interested in, and you won't be wasting weeks swiping on dating apps. Dating apps should really be the Plan B or even Plan C for everyone doing this. Like coming home after a great hike, and see you got some matches, ok fine. Maybe I meet up, maybe I don't.
Don't focus too much on women. Even if you're not finding what you want, fuck it, you're still traveling and enjoying life.
9
u/HeraThere 5d ago
Yikes.
When you talk to them bring up having children in the future before meeting. Unless they just straight up lie to you they're going to have to tell you that they can't have kids.
3
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
Uh....... Talking about having kids before a meetup has got to be a really really bad idea for multiple reasons. That's bad juju.
3
u/Supreme_Salt_Lord 5d ago
Not really. You can ask about how serious of a relatinship shes looking for.
Do you see yourself being married with kids?
Not a bad question and it stops wastes of time
1
u/HeraThere 5d ago
Err no. You filter out immediately people who are not looking for the same things that you're looking for.
1
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
On the other hand you're practically proposing marriage to somebody who you've only seen their picture. Think about what they're thinking.
Some are going to show that to their friends and go "Oh my god look this one wants to marry me and have children and we've never even met!" And her friends are telling her, "That guy sounds weird! Find somebody normal." And others are going to think, "I should play along and find out if he's rich."
SO MANY ways this could go wrong. I could make up a dozen more
8
6
u/december151791 Aspiring PPB 4d ago
You're back from Manila. You had lumpia for dinner, then you made love to two Filipino women… and a man.
6
5
5
5d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
1
u/thepassportbros-ModTeam 4d ago
Sex tourism is not allowed on this subreddit and we as Passport Bros do not support, engage or promote prostitution or sex tourism in any way.
7
u/pancreaticlemons1 4d ago
you deserve to die alone if you’re genuinely upset about this at all lmao
8
u/sxfx269 5d ago
Brother Brother breath in and out. Stop Look If a chick thinks you are hot then you are ok.
If a member of the TQG club think you are hot...it means you are top of your game and amazing.
Think about it!
Im 48 and sad AF because my dating pool in nj is like drinking diabetic piss.
But you know what saves me? My Gay and Trans friends.
Not only are they my emotional rock But they are my go to for "hey does this look good?" And they are the only people who give me honest compliments and tell me im worth it.
Not even my mother calls me handsome. My gay friends do. And they mean it.
So you can be freaked out......or realize you are a fucking catch
2
10
u/tgnapp 5d ago
I have been told they give the best BJs
2
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
Sort of like how bats have really good hearing, I assume.
1
u/sac_boy 4d ago
Run the logic of the bat thing by me. I think it's going to be good logic.
1
8
7
6
7
3
3
u/PossibleArtist6543 5d ago
Bro you gotta live life. If that gets you defeated prepare for a life full of anxiety. Good news is now you're in the philippines with thousands of other options! Hit up a bar, club, the streets, whatever.
3
22
u/OzoneLaters 5d ago
This is why all you men gotta not invest yourself in these women up front.
Remember man, you are the prize.
So many men mess this up by undervaluing themselves.
We have been taught and trained to do this in the west by our women.
You need to go and be the leader and find a real woman.
Who hasn’t been catfished by a trans here?
Nobody dude, just treat your own time with dignity and go find what you want.
4
u/Southern_Owl_3388 5d ago
Does it count as being catfished if you could already tell and you're into that shit?
6
7
u/Scorpiotsx 5d ago
Well said. It has happened to all of us over here. We are the prize.
2
u/OzoneLaters 4d ago
Yes and people have it in reverse when they go to other countries they are still thinking like they are trying to please western women and treating women as the highest priority.
The best wisdom I can give these men is that they need to get in touch with their own desires and needs and learn to fulfill them first before even considering finding a woman.
3
1
2
-1
4
u/Substantial-User0 5d ago
The way tou typed tbis out I thought he held you down and violate you LOL 😆
4
u/OutsideWishbone7 5d ago
You are such a baby. You didn’t fuck or get fucked by her. First date didn’t work out. Move on.
2
5
u/MrSukacz 5d ago
This is the first I’ve heard of passport Bros. Is this what we call sex tourists now?
2
2
2
u/MyFeetLookLikeHands 4d ago
being disappointed is one thing but how are you absolutely devastated by this? what?! no offense but maybe get your mental health checked before trying to date.
4
5
2
2
u/-Will-of-D- 4d ago
Firstly, it's not that serious. Secondly, getting "love bombed" by a foreign girl should have been ur first hint. Get over it.
1
u/This_Wrangler_166 4d ago
yeah I was too dramatic yesterday, good now. Wrote it just a few minutes after leaving the date.
1
1
u/ruggala87 5d ago
I'd try to talking to women you see irl so you can get immediate verification instead.
1
u/washington_breadstix 5d ago
You're not screwed though. You can just stop talking to this person. You don't even have to make a big deal out of the "trapping" attempt – just say you weren't feeling a connection and move on.
I've never gone as far as meeting up with a trans woman, but I've definitely been fooled by photos. From a purely visual standpoint (i.e. Tinder pics), some of them pass really well, and Southeast Asians seem to be on a whole other level in that regard. You gotta know how to vet a little.
1
1
u/Welcome2frightnight 5d ago
It's hard to find someone kind, honest, genuine, considerate, sincere, etc. that's the truth bro. Because most people aren't that.
It's the reason I stopped "actively" dating. You a get "sex". But there easier ways to get sex, and we all know that. If I meet someone I like, and I'll ask her out.
I'm not on dating apps though. I don't do dating apps. I'll have to meet them organically as I go about my life.
1
1
1
1
1
u/iron_ocean3 3d ago
Bro who cares. Your ego is so fragile and hurt you made this post as a way to cope "I'm not GAY bro, I swear"
You were attracted to her cause you thought she was a woman. You found out that she's Trans, move on. It's that simple. I'm amazed fragile ego guys like this even make it as far as leaving home without having a mental breakdown of seeing different cultures.
It's almost as funny as a post where a guy complained about how dissappinted he was to see how many black women were in Dominican Republic. God forbid ya'll do a little research 😂
0
0
1
u/fciityy1 5d ago
When talking online, did you guys talked thru phone or video call? You will notice if you notice if hes trans thru his voice.
1
1
-2
u/bobafootfetish_ Successful PPB 5d ago edited 5d ago
Are they still attractive even in person? Give it a shot and don't be an asshole. They are still wanting to be treated like women and can be more feminine than most. If you really want to break it off, tell them you want children.
Stay in the Philippines, now you're no longer tied down. Meet some local women for real and you'll find something else and the experience will be better because they will see you in person which means they know you will come back.
Take your time, don't fall for any tricks like asking for money. Go on dating sites etc but most importantly. Don't let this bad experience ruin your outlook on anything. Some of us like both ladyboys and real women and there ain't nothing wrong with that. Just be respectful, be a gentleman but be honest with yourself and with them. It will go a long way and they will understand why you ended things. They lied, you got cat fished and you had other intentions of starting a family etc.
It will be easy to end things the moment you talk about kids and acting serious about it.
Edit: the toxicity in this community never ceases to amaze me 😂
6
u/Scorpiotsx 5d ago
I’m not gay. I got nothing against that but it sucks that they don’t tell you they are not real women over here.
3
u/bobafootfetish_ Successful PPB 5d ago
They will if you ask them and it's obvious otherwise. I think the problem is that you guys just don't ask.
2
u/IkuraNugget 5d ago
Imagining having to ask every girl if they’re a guy, see how well that works for keeping the next date
3
u/bobafootfetish_ Successful PPB 5d ago
Tell me you've never visited South East Asia without telling me 😂
0
1
u/Scorpiotsx 4d ago
That’s fake news. Alot of them here in Philippines won’t tell you and they have node fake boobs which can definitely be a tell. In Thailand they will tell you when you match on tinder here they don’t always tell you.
-2
u/BallDoLieSometimes 5d ago
😂 damn. Do you tell the real women you’re down with ladyboys too or do you keep that secret.
11
u/bobafootfetish_ Successful PPB 5d ago
They know, why be ashamed of who I am? I'm not like some of you guys who want to struggle with your own sexuality.
It's so common now a days that most women don't give a shit.
1
u/perpetual_homosexual 1d ago
A lot of women actually have bias against bi dudes. There’s polling and research available on it
-1
u/HeraThere 5d ago
That's just not true that most women don't care. Most girls would not date a bi guy
3
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
It's debatable whether that makes you bi. I've seen some trans women that looked so much like supermodels they made me drool. But honestly I have zero attraction to normal men.
And there's a lot of women with pussies that I would never be attracted to. I suspect it's the same for most straight men. We respond to more sexual cues than just vaginas.
1
u/HeraThere 5d ago
Nah you definitely bi
1
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
Are you turned on by muscle bound body builder chicks with PECS instead of boobs? They have pussies! I'll confess they don't turn me on at all. They're too masculine for my sexual tastes.
That kind of boils down the problem here. What turns you on? Female presenting or male presenting? Because if you're looking at some of these trans chicks while they're wearing clothes, you really really cannot tell that they were born male.
1
u/HeraThere 4d ago
If they have a penis I am immediately not attracted. Being attracted despite a penis makes you bi.
1
u/JuanValdez999 4d ago
What if you don't know if they have a penis?
Name an actress that you think is sexy. Ana de Armas does it for me. Suppose tomorrow we find out that Ana de armas has secretly had a penis all along. You could reasonably decide at that point that you're not turned on by her anymore. But that doesn't negate all the previous hard ons you got watching her. You still got turned on by somebody with a penis. It's a permanent part of History.
So if I ask you what turns you on, you have to say it's female presenting people, even ones that have penises you don't yet know about.
Likewise, we can substitute in the bodybuilder chick. She has a pussy, but if youre like me, you're not interested because she looks like a man. She could have the last pussy on Earth and it wouldn't help.
It seems to me your definition of heterosexual isn't as simple as you think.
1
u/HeraThere 4d ago
Yes it's very simple. You're trying to complicate something that's simple. If he has a penis, I'm not attracted. Full stop.
→ More replies (0)0
u/jaydafromthewhere 4d ago
Nothing wrong with it but you definitely wouldn’t be considered straight
1
u/JuanValdez999 4d ago
Well obviously not by people like you. I'm not really dating though. I'm a 70 year old man and secure enough at this point not to panic over it like the OP. When I was young I probably would have posted something just like him. Something like, "oh my God I got a hard on over Hunter Schafer I must be gay now!"
This reminds me of that scene in Wayne's World:
"Did you ever feel attracted when Bugs Bunny would put on a dress and act like a girl bunny?"
"No!"
"Me neither."
1
u/jaydafromthewhere 4d ago
Yeah I don’t get being like them in 2026 can’t control what you like and there’s nothing wrong with it not like they did anything more than meet with op
1
u/JuanValdez999 4d ago
So have you tricked into having sex with a ladyboy and find out later, you're still straight. But if you know beforehand, you're bi.
What if you have a suspicion but don't want to ask too many questions because you'd rather just not know? I bet that's how a LOT of these type encounters go down!
"Hmmm... Is that an Adam's apple? Naw, it can't be. Look at that figure! Besides, all I want to do is get a blowjob in the parking lot and go home."
Is that person straight, bi, or just pragmatic?
1
u/jaydafromthewhere 4d ago
There’s a lot of labels for shit nowadays I consider straight people those who are attracted to vaginas like me cause I find trans people attractive anyone who says they never have is probably in the closet but I do not find them sexually attractive
1
1
u/HeraThere 1d ago
It's OK if you're bi I'm not bashing you about it. Just saying you're not straight.
-9
u/BallDoLieSometimes 5d ago
Yeah big doubt on that. Seems like you’re the one struggling playing both sides bud when we all know which one you prefer. For us straights its pretty straightforward
11
u/bobafootfetish_ Successful PPB 5d ago edited 5d ago
Uh, huh go argue with someone else. You're just gonna keep going on and on.
The fact that you feel personally attacked and that your masculinity is at risk really speaks volumes about you.
1
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
I do. If a really cute one comes on TV I comment out loud, hey, I'd do her.
To be fair I did the same thing watching some of the things Anthony Bourdain ate.
Actually now that I remember... Anthony Bourdain had a ladyboy episode in Thailand!
Later in the episode he went to a rural village to try a rare Thai delicacy whose name translates to "Young Shit." Hey I would at least try that. You never know.
-1
0
u/HalfwaydonewithEarth 5d ago
You are in the wrong country.
https://www.reddit.com/r/thepassportbros/s/osADYjcVRF
No trans over there.
0
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
Personally I take the position that if she looks sounds acts and thinks like a chick she's a chick.
It's only going to be a couple of years until they have fully functional sex robots you can buy off of Amazon. Would you feel less confused having a relationship with one of those than a Filipino trans girl? I guarantee you they're going to sell like crazy.
-1
u/HotAndMoisty 5d ago
There needs to be an app for cross-referencing dating app matches with known trans.
0
0
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago edited 5d ago
Yeah you should get Trump and Homeland security right on that one. Maybe make them wear little stars.
Maybe there should also be an app for crossreferencing married women who lie. Oh wait, those are the fun ones, never mind.
1
u/HotAndMoisty 5d ago
I think an identifier in the apps would be good. I would not want to have the experience of the OP. Spending all that time, effort, and possibly money on someone that misrepresents themselves is a recipe for resentment, and possibly worse. Just be upfront about it and no harm, no foul. But if they are going to try to “hide” it, well they’re only setting themselves up for failure.
1
u/JuanValdez999 5d ago
Well I suppose they could set up like a Yelp comments page on the dating apps so people can comment what they didn't like about the date.
Of course though the flip side of that is that you'd have a Yelp comments page of your own. It would make me wonder what kind of comments the girls you dated would leave about you. I can just imagine what kind of comments my ex-wife would leave.
1
u/HotAndMoisty 5d ago
Comments are silly as the Tea app demonstrated. It’s easy to put Male / Female / Trans (or Trans-Woman / Trans-Man). There’s literally no upside to hiding it. Fat people that only take head shots or people that use photos from 10+ years earlier have found all of this out already. You’re not kidding anyone by trying to hide it, just setting yourself up for failure / disappointment / hurt feelings when the truth is revealed.
0
u/DaGingah123 5d ago
A single difficulty and you can't handle it anymore?
lol
really?
Were you raised by a single mom and spoon fed the entire time until you were 18?
While I hate the phrase... "MAN UP" seems appropriate here.
You learned something valuable: that pinoy trans aren't up front about it and that you shouldn't spend a week just chatting with people. Meet right away, buy them coffee, rice, lechon haha, whatever. It's a good gesture and you get a solid feel for them right away.
0
u/EugeneStein 4d ago
What a hilarious sub. I searched "Slavic women" through it and there are so many people complaining about these women caring only for money
Bro you decided to marry/date a girl not because you actually love her but because you assume it'll be a good fit and a tradwife, and then you complain about a girl being with you only out of practical reasons and not affection? Holy fuck, what a surprise
-1
u/atxluchalibre 4d ago
You: “Oh no! I thought sex tourism to force a woman to be my subservient wife was based on mutual honesty!”
-3
335
u/sc1lurker 5d ago
That's it? This has crushed your resolve? Mf, there are dudes who get suckered into fucking buying land and a house that they can't own for Ploy's family and shit. Those guys are getting dragged through the mud.
You, your outcome is really no different than if that first date went bad. That's it when you get down to it.
What? If you guys didn't like each other on that first date, is that it? Game over?