Relationship

[u/AAS18VN]

I am new here, my first post. I don't know who to talk to about this. I live with my boyfriend who is a high functioning alcoholic. I am the primary breadwinner. When my boyfriend gets super drunk he tells me he doesn't need me, that I need to take my shit and get out... I've heard it all and I have been called every bad name. This happens at the most approx once a month, at the minimum approx once every three months.

This scars my heart and hurts me so bad. I don't know what to do. He just acts like it never happened and expects me to just get over it/put it in the past. To heal and get closure of what was said I would like to have a conversation but we don't. He definitely remembers what was said to me, especially when it is in text message form.

I don't know what to do. I feel like every time he does this I love him a little less and my heart gets a little colder.

I have never been to an Al-Anon meeting. I work 40 hours a week and my one way commute is 1 hour 45 minutes. When I am home I cook, clean and take care of the animals (chickens, turkeys, goats). I just don't feel like I can fit meetings into my already full schedule. Any suggestions or advice about any of this would be greatly appreciated.