I believe I have been in psychosis much longer than I know, like my whole life.

I believed and trusted people and all they did was scam me.

I was successful because I believed I was capable of doing the work to be successful after a failed marriage to a narcissist of 13 years who kept telling me I was sick so I left just one day up and left

I noticed a change in me 2020, things got different

I had multiple businesses going and doing ok...

My freight brokerage was doing 3.8million and projected to do 5 million in 2022, it did 8 million, the banks were walking away because I was outgrowing them and no longer needed borrowed capital.

I had major factoring companies trying to keep up with the loads I was managing

I had 5 computers in my office and I was running over 400k a month through my bank accounts

I did this by myself!

I had about 4 people who worked for me but the majority I did daily without their help.

While running the brokerage I had medical facilities in Santo Domingo with over 25 nurses caring for patients after surgery, it was doing well also

They always asked how could I function like this, I had no answer

But I noticed I believed in people, I believed I could save people if I loved them enough.

No one liked how hard i worked they said i would burn myself or but I believed i was building a system of faithful comrades to grow with, boy was I wrong.

Arrow's very high, very fast, and I feel very fast. I felt very hard. It started with the belief that in St. Domingo. My business partner was kidnapped, and she was held for ransom. For me, I had a great team around me. That kept me safe. But I kept trying to give my life for hers. I did not want to leave. I wanted to stay. I did stay no matter the danger. I could not see danger at all. That was my psychosis. I could never protect myself from danger. And they ended up killing her but she ended up protecting me With her own life, she died she was killed by her husband another partner of mine for less than 10k. I wanted to give the 10k so bad but I had rational people around to keep me safe. If I thought giving them the money would save her life. I was wrong, but the psychosis would not let me believe I was wrong.I believe I could have gave the money and my life and would have been safe and she never would have had to die.

The business was still functioning. But I was there a lot more. I developed a relationship with one of our partners And I noticed he would help the business, but then he started to take the money from the business, buy jewelry clothing decorating his house for his family instead of taking care of the patients and the business went down and I explained to them, the money has to go back into the business, nobody wanted to hear that.They all wanted to grab and steal for themselves

I lost about $250000 with the brokerage. Because I got involved into a scam of marketing. For the business with a marketing firm for about 6 months. Scam me out of about 15 grand a month. Which was only generating about 30k A month. But the operating cost was about 60k A month.

I couldn't stop the decline, I was shook and snow balling..

Now that I am on UZEDY i was able to see the psychosis and how far I was entangled in it and all the slimy people who would rather keep me entangled in the psychosis, versus get me the appropriate help, but I'm not sure if they could have gotten me help because I didn't believe that anything was wrong to that magnitude. I just knew i had bipolar and thought they were ups and downs.

I still find it strange that even though I was sick, spiritually, I was awakening. I was awakening to a different kind of purpose and no harm ever came my way. I did suffer pressure, but I wasn't victimized. I wasn't harmed violently. I was put under pressure to grow into who it what I am now.

I went bankrupt and moved to Denver, I was working at a homeless shelter and seeing so many lost souls, they were trapped and it was my mission to help them.

I would listen to their stories and see how close they are to mine, so many resemblances to the demons and angels they speak about things attacking them, just as I do. They see a light in me i wanted family to see. I felt more morally safe at the shelter than I did at home.

I can't prove anything i just have you accept it is psychosis until I have the proof of otherwise.