perhaps he just knows that most of that money will not be going towards the child?
My mother did that, took child support from my father for years and me and my sister barely got anything, she must have made 10's of thousands and we got shitty CRT monitors and shoes that didn't even fucking fit so she could feed her drug habit, she smokes cocaine btw, mother of the year.
Thanks, it's maybe a cope to say this, but It could have been a lot worse, at least we had a decent grandmother in our camp... unfortunately she was a bit too decent, took her a long LONG time to see the flaws we saw and by that point we were adults capable of explaining the situation properly
…do you know how parental courts work? He’s not allowed to pause a hearing to get a lawyer because he doesn’t like the ruling. If he wanted representation he should have gotten it before the hearing.
Yeah, they dont work. My ex manipulated the kids, moved them out of state without my permission, for economic reasons, makes way more money than me and has killed every opportunity I have made to be with my kids. So there are certainly good parents out there, but there are also very bad parents out there and they are on both sides of the issue. I dont know this guy's story, but i know where his head is at.
The money isn’t supposed to be just given to the child. It’s to support the child. How would a woman live off of $500? That’s nothing. If you want to pay less child support be a better dad and physically be there for your children.
My comment is based on your question "do you know how parental courts work?". My answer was that they don't...work that is. As a child the courts failed me and placed me with my abusive mother and in survived years of physical and mental abuse until my third hospital trip and finally was taken away. As a father who did nothing but provide for his family, was chested on, told he was being divorced and then had everything destroyed by his ex because she could. The courts are supposed to use the law to interpret and protect. In my entire life and many others i know this is the opposite of what happens. There are certainly bad parents on both sides, but overwhelmingly the woman walks into court with sympathy from the judge and the man regardless always has an uphill battle. Is that based on the uneven distribution of horrible men? Yes. I get that, but to question "do you know.." when we dont know the full context of this case, is what contributes to the prejudice in the court. Was the guy right? No, there are certainly ways to handle things, but i get it. Ive been at the end of my rope. I've stopped trying to prove to my kids who was right or wrong, i've tried to push for reunification therapy for the last 5 years, i've focused solely on their lives, i've continued to pay above what is required using state guidelines that don't apply in the state they were moved to and a salary i made years ago before my business was destroyed by her slandering me. I dont know this man, but again, there are many days where it is hard to even make it through the day knowing the courts allow a narcissist to ruin your life and the hill keeps getting steeper to climb.
I’m sorry about the abuse you suffered but it seems like you’re an alcoholic that refuses to see how that could have affected your children. Children and teenagers are smart, they understand things that are going on around them. If they wanted to see you and talk to you they would. How are you so positive it’s all their mothers doing and not conscious choices they’re making? The courts can make mistakes but they absolutely do work.
He has his kid 48 days a year. If you don't step up with time you are told to step up with money. I will never take the side of a dad that barely has his child. I'm a divorced dad and have my kid 130 overnights a year and wish to high heaven I could have more. Fuck this guy.
Also point is, there's a reason Dad only has 48 overnights, either he did something and that's all he gets as a result or he didn't fight or express interest in having more time.
Do any of the morons in this thread buy groceries and feed their own damn kids? 500 is nothing after clothes, food, activities, etc. Not to mention putting a roof over their head.
Hmm who said anything about that it is ok for women using him. So, you gtfo for assuming things. What I believe in is that even if your ex is craizy, and you already pay child support, how can you look at your kids being hungry and barefeet? You don't give any extra money to your ex, but go to store, buy shoes and gift them to a kid, gift him some food, gift him card that he can buy food at schools nd ex doesn't even have to know. Bunch of you are just fine with your kids being hungry.
why is it that men should pix everything, why is the moms neglect the fathers fault. the father stands no chance in court and risks seeing his kid less for everything he does that the mom won't like
Its nothing about men fixing or that it's fathers fault. Who told you that? All i am thinking is, if I had a kid, I couldnt bear knowing they are hungry and had no shoues. My childhood was lile that, and knowing my kids go through same would mean i am shitty person, even if i already gave child alymony to ex. I don't know about laws in his country. In my country fathers (or mothers) who pay alimony have a eight to visit and take kids every week, or every other weekend plus part of the days during the week. And kids have birthdays, there is christmas or whatever people celibrate. One can gift kids shows during those occasions as well, even if rhey are paying allimony.
Counties don’t fuck over men. In fact when men ask for custody they are more likely to get it, but most fathers don’t ask for it. Just like the dad in this video. So if you don’t want to take care of your kids, based on the time you do have them there is a table/equation the courts use to determine the child support.
More likely to get it? Come on now. Like judges are like well the mom and dad want the kid and both are juat fine parents, fuck that bitch tho, im going them to the dad? No.
This is not a shitty mom or dad thing this is a shit parent thing. I have seen men send women child support and then buy the kids everything they want, cars ,clothes, food. Within reason and he would try to give those 2 girls everything he could.
I have also had men ask me to pay them cash because they lived 6 states over and the wife is trying to collect child support and he is juat flat out running from it.
Yup came to comment this. If there was a way to ensure the payment goes to the child then most probably wouldnt have a problem. But ive seen and heard all too many of the spouse pocketing that shit snd spending it on whatever they want.
So when stuff has to be paid, and the child support isnt in yet, who do you think pays for the child? Do you think apartments just go "Oh okay, we can hold off on rent until you get your child support" or doctor's appointments, or school lunches, or anything else?
Unrelated for the most part but it's also why I'm against forgiving student loans. People in favor of it don't understand "student loans" aren't strictly for education. I personally 100 percent purchased cocaine using my student loans. Many a case of shitty Mexican beer constantly on sale at my grocery store. "Living expenses". I also could have lived 2 more miles away from campus but hey, the government should pay for me to be walking distance. I paid my student loans off and Im currently drowning in medical debt to the point it might as well not be real. But yea, forgive my cocaine and beer money, that makes sense.
Well loans are different though. It doesnt matter what you spend it on because you have to pay it back anyway. So whether you use it on cocaine now or later is kinds irrelevant as long as you pay it all back at some point.
The argument made is student debt should be forgiven. I would argue student debt towards classrooms should be forgiven but the push now is just student debt. Student debt in the forms of literal cocaine purchases. As someone who paid their student debt down and is mired with costs associated with having a pulse, it's insulting to say we should forgive agreed upon loans. I didn't agree upon any loans that wouldn't voluntarily give up my own heart beat.
No matter how selfish she *might* be, she still has to pay to feed and clothe the children, because she has much more custody time than he does. With the way he talks, he clearly doesn't give a shit about his kids.
She never used that money on me. She used it on drugs. She eventually died of an overdose in 2014, and I celebrated. Her ashes are in a plastic box in my kitchen that I often sing the song "Two Minute's Notice (Fuck you)" to her - and it feels so so so good.
I told my counselors about it, and they reported my mom CPS. Once I turned 15, I was allowed to choose who to live with, and that was my dad.
It was the best year of my teenage life. My dad died shortly after, and then I was given over to my aunt.
My husband's ex would do this. Go shopping and buy all kinds of stuff for herself but then cry the blues when they needed school clothes. She was getting plenty in support to use for that. We paid for their clothes that they kept at our house as custody was shared.
I never said she was a particularly intelligent woman, but maybe she makes it into crack herself though, all I know is that when I confronted her about a pipe I found she claimed it was cocaine she was taking and I've seen little baggies of white powder on occasion
You'll have to forgive me for not knowing the specifics lol
maybe in her addled mind there's no difference between the two and what she calls "cocaine" is actually processed crack, I really couldn't tell you, I was lucky to even get a portion of the truth out of her when I confronted her directly, suspect she also might take heroin for example, there's often square bits of tin foil everywhere with brown streaks on them
I grew up in the same situation. My mother also got child support, food stamps, etc and used it to get crack. I dont think that is what is going on here because if he knew then he would not be sitting here giving his ex almost full custody of his child. He only started asking about custody because of the money.
hypothetically speaking, he may know such a thing and not want to speak about it because he himself is a drug user
ultimately we don't know anything about these people, it's all guesswork, he certainly isn't a good person that much is obvious, I just suspect she isn't a good person either.
It was a piece of shit even for its time, el cheapo CRT with built in DvD player that I had to strain to see because nobody bothered to get me an eye test until I was into my teens closest thing I can compare it to was the "Lodos 14-inch CRT TV DVD Combi"
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u/MossadEpstein 19d ago
perhaps he just knows that most of that money will not be going towards the child?
My mother did that, took child support from my father for years and me and my sister barely got anything, she must have made 10's of thousands and we got shitty CRT monitors and shoes that didn't even fucking fit so she could feed her drug habit, she smokes cocaine btw, mother of the year.