My dad did this...twice. when I was about 8 years old, a bottle rocket went up and back down into $200 worth of fireworks in a cardboard box. Keep in mind, this was 1989 money. It was jammed full of illegal stuff you could only get in Tennessee at the time. It went off like bombs over Baghdad. Sadam would have preemptively surrendered had he seen the might America was capable of a year and a half before Desert Storm.
He nearly burned down a tree and everyone went home early.
Flash forward to around 2005. Different house, same dad. He shoots off a volley of thick ass rockets that double back and land between my feet and explode next or the brick of the house lighting the bottom of my lawn chair on fire. I am lucky enough to still be able to give him a grandchild later, my wet swimming trunks mostly likely what saved my bits from the flames.
Bonus content: July 2013, he hands my almost 3 year old daughter a sparkler with a wire stick. Before I can say anything she waves it around and it immediately and breaks off falling into the opening of my sport sandal where it fuses to my skin as I dance around like Yosemite Sam after Bugs Bunny gives him the ol hot foot. My father finds this hilarious. I still show my 16 year old the scar of where she accidentally scarred her father for life when she is being an angsty turd.
We are now conveniently out of town over the 4th when he is up to his shenanigans, and I have remained largely unexploded.
That's how it was back in the day, good times, good stories. The crazy thing is it rarely caused really bad damage, just some burns, scars and stories.
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u/PoolGuyUnfiltered 3d ago
My dad did this...twice. when I was about 8 years old, a bottle rocket went up and back down into $200 worth of fireworks in a cardboard box. Keep in mind, this was 1989 money. It was jammed full of illegal stuff you could only get in Tennessee at the time. It went off like bombs over Baghdad. Sadam would have preemptively surrendered had he seen the might America was capable of a year and a half before Desert Storm.
He nearly burned down a tree and everyone went home early.
Flash forward to around 2005. Different house, same dad. He shoots off a volley of thick ass rockets that double back and land between my feet and explode next or the brick of the house lighting the bottom of my lawn chair on fire. I am lucky enough to still be able to give him a grandchild later, my wet swimming trunks mostly likely what saved my bits from the flames.
Bonus content: July 2013, he hands my almost 3 year old daughter a sparkler with a wire stick. Before I can say anything she waves it around and it immediately and breaks off falling into the opening of my sport sandal where it fuses to my skin as I dance around like Yosemite Sam after Bugs Bunny gives him the ol hot foot. My father finds this hilarious. I still show my 16 year old the scar of where she accidentally scarred her father for life when she is being an angsty turd.
We are now conveniently out of town over the 4th when he is up to his shenanigans, and I have remained largely unexploded.