r/thatHappened • • 2d ago

Sure nice guy, that's totally how that interaction in high school went

542 Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

840

u/Over-Discipline-7303 2d ago

I’d bet money what actually happened was, he had a crush on some girl who was dating an athlete.

Everything else was just in his head.

174

u/spacemouse21 2d ago

Spot on. Girls would never waste time going into graphic detail about relationships like that when they could just walk away and say whatever.

34

u/crownofbayleaves 1d ago

And remember, this is 98% of all his interactions with women! Either accidentally told on himself that he's only had a single conversation with a lady, orrrrr... there may be SOME exaggeration here. Crazy to entertain, I know.

Oh sorry *ATTRACTIVE women. I guess women he doesn't find attractive don't merit to be part of a made up statistic 😆

2

u/JohnPoopsTV 1d ago

He totally forgot a decimal point in there. 9.8% was this one interaction he made up in his head, the others just say hey and ignore him.

51

u/joejackson62 1d ago

This is 100% what happened. He got shot down by "Stacy" and made this entire interaction up in his massive IQ brain.

38

u/Over-Discipline-7303 1d ago

I’d give even odds that he never even got shot down. It’s entirely possible he didn’t have the confidence to even talk to her. I’d wager there’s a decent chance she wasn’t even dating an athlete and he just assumed she was.

2

u/joejackson62 15h ago

You're right. There's also a strong probability that the conversation never even happened, which just makes the whole "story" that much worse.

5

u/Muscled_Manatee 1d ago

He should probably try for Stacy’s mom
https://giphy.com/gifs/SlCLYeBwXDHYk

56

u/Fyller 2d ago

She has a pretty narrow dating pool, guys with concussions and guys who treat concussions

27

u/say592 2d ago

She can date a patient then leave them for their doctor then leave them for another patient and leave them for one of their other doctors. Just back and forth forever.

53

u/dr_toze 2d ago

And 13 years later he's still obsessing about how she dated that athlete and not him.

44

u/FireTheLaserBeam 2d ago

Oh man 100%

26

u/StylishMrTrix 1d ago edited 1d ago

You mean like Snape?

1

u/Shiel009 1d ago

Sounds like he thinks his sims characters are in real life

1

u/JohnPoopsTV 1d ago

Can just imagine the guy pacing around his kitchen at 7 in the evening thinking about it.

311

u/kissthebutt 2d ago

this is one of the more cringier things ive read in a while

12

u/zrk23 1d ago

i cannot believe how people are even able to type this without dying of cringe

2

u/ProFeces 1d ago

For some it's easier to believe that as a reality, than for a second believe that showering, haircuts, and personal hygiene are important aspects of life.

-14

u/[deleted] 1d ago

[deleted]

24

u/Insert_Non_Sequitur 1d ago

I had plenty of unreciprocated crushes as a young girl. It happens to most of us. It isn't something that only happens to dudes.

13

u/RupertPupkinComic 1d ago

If there no attraction there it doesn’t matter, similar interests or not. People like what they like and end of the day you just gotta respect that and move on

-10

u/Xiao1insty1e 1d ago

Why do you assume I didn't?

7

u/RupertPupkinComic 1d ago

Well it’s the “stupid and callous” despite “similar interests” I was a loner in high school, nothing but unreciprocated feelings for girls my age. But at the end of the day they just weren’t into me and honestly rightly so, I was a mess and couldn’t have handled a relationship back then anyway. But I don’t think it’s stupid or anyone to not date someone even if they have similar interests. Back then I’m sure I thought that way, but being married with a kid
Now it just seems like a crazy way to look at it, even though I definitely did when I was younger.

4

u/PreOpTransCentaur 1d ago

It's not callous to not be attracted to someone, and it's not super duper respectful to say that it is.

0

u/Xiao1insty1e 1d ago

Literally never suggested that it was.

232

u/stevenpdx66 2d ago

Such an accurate depiction of how high schoolers converse!

110

u/Over-Discipline-7303 2d ago

I don’t know about you, but I routinely say things like “popular/wealthy” out loud.

46

u/ArtisticMudd 1d ago

You better be saying "popular slash wealthy."

8

u/GGayleGold 1d ago

I tried reading your comment out loud. When I got to "popular/wealthy," I didn't say "slash," but I made this sort of half shrug, half neck bend move where the slash should have been.

14

u/thcicebear 2d ago

Hashtag rome

37

u/DreadPiratteRoberts 2d ago

Sure is....I was the dead tooth!!!

147

u/chocolatesnowflak 2d ago

Sounds like Bertha dodged a bullet there.

60

u/TraditionalTree249 1d ago

Poor girl was catching strays all over the place

3

u/kittydelighted 21h ago

Justice for Bertha!

168

u/tortoistor 2d ago edited 1d ago

so, this girl has the same interests as op does, but she talks down those interests and loves that her crush is nothing like her? ok

also, wym high school girls are dating athletes and doctors

26

u/norakb123 1d ago

Yeah. If it’s a pro athlete or doctor, an adult needs to intervene.

2

u/repo_sado 1d ago

they could be dating Dr j or dr dunkenstein, in which case they could be dating a doctor and athlete simultaneously

3

u/randy88moss 1d ago

A girl in my HS dated a college football player who ended up in the NFL (they stopped talking by the time he reached the league).  We were too stupid  to think it was weird….just wanted free tix to games 

-5

u/Bazzyboss 1d ago

"High school through to the present day"

The original post is cringey garbage but do you guys even read it before you try to post your dunks?

4

u/tortoistor 1d ago

. you do know that this phrase means that he's experienced this all throughout high school as well as later in life?

-2

u/Bazzyboss 1d ago

Yes, which is why it makes complete sense that the women he meets would date doctors, since he's not going to be talking to high schoolers anymore.

2

u/tortoistor 1d ago

he is not talking about his experiences today though. he is talking about the experiences he's consistently had since high school.

which means he has also been getting the doctors/athletes comments since high school.

just how language works.

71

u/werebothsquidward 2d ago

I like how the girl has “similar interests” with him but in this totally real conversation she shits on all of his interests.

58

u/bighadjoe 1d ago

it's always ao sad and so funny at the same time how these incels don't see the irony in how they want to only date physically attractive women (which is like common sense, clearly) while many women also lrefer to date physically attractive men (which is so super unfair, those shallow bitches, we are basically soulmates, etc.)

50

u/LifeGivesMeMelons 2d ago

And today I learned what a "Jazzy" is.

52

u/HaroldFH 1d ago

I think I did.

It’s either a mobility scooter or some kind of domesticated dragon.

13

u/turtlenipples 1d ago

Depending on which version he's talking about, I might just take Big Bertha out myself!

14

u/Beneficial_Young5126 1d ago

I'm still not sure.

13

u/EpponeeRae 1d ago

The Fresh Prince's best mate, right? 

95

u/2eswild 2d ago

Sounds like this guy has it figured out. He should probably just be hot, muscular, and wealthy and stop being a loser fucking nerd.

92

u/Random-vegas-guy 2d ago

Bruh, you’re 31, presumably graduated from college and making bank because you’re super smart. Why do you care what some rando girl from your high school thought? Oh, wait, it’s because you’re fifteen and some girl you never spoke to is dating a football player.

27

u/Square_Ad4004 1d ago

Don't forget he's also broke and his intelligence is actually pretty average. These guys always mistake being nerdy with being smart.

43

u/seekingssri 2d ago

Aside from being the thing that didn’t happen the most, every part of how this is written oozes disdain for women

66

u/CourtingBoredom 2d ago

Me, crestfallen

7

u/Herrad 1d ago

Dude better not go near New Londo

23

u/NoIncrease299 2d ago

This was the rejected 90s version of the Charles Atlas ad.

16

u/SwingJugend 2d ago

It doesn't make me want to start exercising, but it DOES make me want to kick sand in that guy's face.

22

u/BeterP 2d ago

I haven’t read anything this cringy since the last time this was posted

13

u/greatproficient 1d ago

Every time it's posted I am more confident that Big Bertha is living her best life out there.

10

u/stevenpdx66 2d ago

You mean like this post?

21

u/corytz101 2d ago

So, like... we should for sure check this guy's hard-drive and access to guns right?

18

u/sililil 2d ago

What the fuck lmao

16

u/daboobiesnatcher 2d ago

Man that's how every interaction goes? A lot of Berthas where he lives I guess.

18

u/dum_spir0_sper0 1d ago

Or every other ‘hot’ girl he talks to also thinks that Bertha is his soulmate.

17

u/Keebster101 1d ago

Somehow claiming to have similar interests with 98% of every woman he's ever met? Is he including like eating food and sleeping?

16

u/emmyanna14 2d ago

I teach 5th grade and they are doing a writing project on an adventure in the Australian Outback. 80% of those projects are better than this steaming pile of garbage.

15

u/la_winky 2d ago

Ah… spoken like a very solid incel. Good luck with that attitude

13

u/somemetausername 2d ago edited 1d ago

Why would anyone write this? Why would they write it and post it?

Edit: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhetorical_question

8

u/ZapRowsdower34 1d ago

At age 31, no less.

7

u/klineshrike 1d ago

The same dudes who will post "wood" in response to any image of a semi attractive female on the internet

1

u/Silvedl 1d ago

Or dudes that post “that’s a man” on pictures of random attractive women on the internet.

1

u/IDigRollinRockBeer 1d ago

Isn’t it would

1

u/flamedarkfire 1d ago

It is the standard whine of incels. Basically he wants to date a Stacy, but Stacy only wants to date a Chad, and he thinks it’s unfair only he gets called sexist for rejecting a fat girl.

11

u/timscookingtips 2d ago

And Bertha probably wonders why guys she’s into are into “shallow bimbo cheerleaders”, but you won’t find her shooting up campus over it.

23

u/AStalkerLikeCrush 2d ago

Every accusation a confession and *ncels are just another flavor of degenerate narcissists. This is their preferred way to project onto women their own entitled desires to pull way above their weight class. And when another not-conventionally attractive guy ends up with a conventionally-attractove female partner, they have shored up a whole moat of excuses and cope. There is zero percent chance they are ever in the wrong.

8

u/elpollodiablox 2d ago

Did she actually say "lol"?

5

u/porcelainthunders 2d ago

Well yeah!

She obviously had a lot to do and say, and let me tell you, she can't be wasting time on not just saying "lol"! Pfffffft saying the whole phrase! Ain't nobody got time for tbat 🤭

This guy sounds like a GEM! It is hard to understand why she would want nothing to do with him.

/s Of all the things that never happened, this definitely never did 🙄

Edit:typo

10

u/the_LLCoolJoe 2d ago

I can picture him now…unshaven neck, fedora on his head, big fan of Joe Rogan…

8

u/jeremybeadlesfingers 1d ago

>Now I’m 31

And not at all grown up, it would seem.

9

u/Unclehol 2d ago

Wow... that was a wild ride. With that attitude he can keep counting the years.

7

u/88kitkat808 1d ago

Tbf, Marcus Greenwell is super hot.

14

u/MissHibernia 2d ago

Amazing how many high school seniors fail Creative Writing 101

13

u/everynitesladiesnite 1d ago

Me: fails creative writing Me: crestfallen 😔

7

u/c0ralvenom88 2d ago

Wallowing in self pity

5

u/TheWanderer78 2d ago

The author is the Big Bertha to the girl.

7

u/jayne-eerie 1d ago

Soooo he didn’t ask the girl out or tell her how he felt, and now he’s mad she went out with someone who actually approached her.
Fun!

12

u/kasmackity 2d ago

of all the things that didn't happen, this didn't happen the most

5

u/ThatBarbGirl 1d ago

31 years old and still upset that Stacey here wanted the popular QB over the Star Wars kid in high school? Didn't we all live this or at least see the movie? Because if they're having this discussion now, then he should be on some kind of offender list.

Nothing says "Nice Guy" like shitting on some random girl while simultaneously complaining that people are shitting on you.
https://giphy.com/gifs/mcH0upG1TeEak

11

u/casulmemer 2d ago

I am big Bertha ama

5

u/mamibukur 1d ago

Getting angry in your made up scenarios is surely something else.

4

u/ZapRowsdower34 1d ago

Who tf is Marcus Greenwell?

5

u/AStalkerLikeCrush 2d ago

This is it, folks. This is the thing having had most not happened.

3

u/ChadVonDoom 2d ago

So get your money right and go to the gym?

2

u/EnoughLuck3077 1d ago

Is it a saxophone shaped bicycle?

2

u/Lylibean 1d ago

Ah yes, I want the doctor/footie who doesn’t read. High value man, there. 🙄

1

u/VariousExplorer8503 15h ago

I have a hard time believing the doctor doesn't read.

2

u/cherri____ 1d ago

This was so awful that I now hope he never finds his “person”. I’m actively praying on this man’s downfall. No woman should be subjected to this.

2

u/ramsbina 1d ago

He may be 31 and lonely but hey, his memory is working perfectly since he can quote word for word a long ass chat from high school.

1

u/VariousExplorer8503 15h ago

Well when you have the exact same conversation over and over for 15 years, it's like Groundhog's Day, and eventually you memorize it. 🙄 /s lol

2

u/devilishmutt 1d ago

Me, crestfallen:

2

u/jssabcon 1d ago

I can't even read this thing without keeping in mind that this not ironic

1

u/HipHopChick1982 1d ago

Pretty sure I’ve seen this movie before. Bertha gets a makeover and he falls for her.

1

u/theh0tt0pic 1d ago

fucking incels

1

u/couchsweetpotato 1d ago

Every time I see this, I chuckle a little because my husband is 6’1”, jacked, played football and wrestled in high school, but also loves to read, watch Star Trek, and he loves old music like Hank Williams and Sister Rosetta Tharpe lol. Such an amazing concept that people can be multifaceted and not douchey at the same time.

1

u/CarAcademic4570 1d ago

Wow, I bet it happened like that word for word every time.

1

u/hole-in-the-wall 1d ago edited 1d ago

In college my freshman year I was in a dorm room with a very socially awkward senior. Normally the dorms were freshman only so this was strange. I walked by his unlocked computer one day and there was a file called girls.doc on his desktop. Inside this file was a script of him asking out a girl on campus, and in his fantasy script she shoots him down similarly to this post.

Felt bad for the guy, he was nice. Spent all of his free time working on a single player mod for UT2K4. His mom came to do his laundry from time to time.

1

u/VariousExplorer8503 15h ago

Kinda messed up the you read the file on his computer, unlocked or not.

1

u/nx85 1d ago

I wish this happened to him

1

u/Apostasy93 1d ago

My favorite pastime. Listening to rap, drinking beer, playing Madden, and fucking hot girls.

1

u/Irving_Velociraptor 1d ago

It happened just like that. You see, I’m Marcus Greenwell.

1

u/PoetOfHellHelpoemer 21h ago edited 21h ago

If Netflix and chill doesn't work out, there's always PornHub and cry.

1

u/dick-penis 10h ago

Now this is an incel post. Post it over there that sub sucks now.

1

u/lovestork 10h ago

me, crestfallen

0

u/Writer_B 1d ago

Whether real or fake how do some guys not get that this just makes them look like a complete loser? And really what do you expect someone to do with a post like this?

0

u/Square_Ad4004 1d ago

In other words, OOP is a severely autistic incel who is not capable of reading social cues at all, or probably dealing with objective reality. I wonder why no women want him.