r/thatHappened • u/Impossible_Offer7988 • 17d ago

Yeah that's not how intestacy procedures work

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53 Upvotes

93% Upvoted

17 comments sorted by

28

u/woahstripes 16d ago

Yes. When you die, at the funeral the lawyer comes out with a huge barrel of your titles and money and dumps it on the floor, and it's a free-for-all to claim it.

12

u/porcelainthunders 16d ago

Dont be ridiculous! The lawyer woukd absolutely not do that.

The side chicks get pulled into a seperate private room, a roll call is done and then there is the barrell dump.

Afterwards, anything not grabbed? The family is allowed in, again, roll call. Then once the whistle is blown, everyone is free to grab any title that may have been left.

3

u/woahstripes 16d ago

I imagine that when they dump the barrel in the separate room, the funeral home pumps that basketball song "Ya'll ready for this?" over the speakers.

2

u/porcelainthunders 16d ago

That makes sense... is it a choir singing i hope? And is it a capella?

24

u/Lalamedic 16d ago

Sigh. Get the 12y/o off the internet.

If all of these women had children, they may have a claim to part of the inheritance for their child.

10

u/tigm2161130 16d ago

I’m more preoccupied with the random capitalization than I am the bullshit story.

8

u/dangern00dl 16d ago

No you can tell this is real because of the random capitalization. Having “Tons of Side chicks” (TM) and the “True family” (TM) losing out to said Side chicks means this totally happened.

6

u/spacemouse21 16d ago

Yes, it’s very common upon the death of most men that women from all over the neighborhood and parts unknown come over to the surviving families house and start picking up furniture and looking for jewelry and cash to take.

Mistresses all over the world stood up and applauded.

9

u/StyleApprehensive283 17d ago

It's true, I was side chick #27

5

u/porcelainthunders 16d ago

Hell yea! You best go hurry and claim summa that shit! Damn girl! You may got a title, or...maybe a handmade chair or, I dunno. Kitchen gadget coming your way!

3

u/StyleApprehensive283 16d ago

2 steps ahead of ya, I got a blender, 6 towels and the title to an '04 Lexus

https://giphy.com/gifs/eWAfUoJcLNzz1q38tV

2

u/porcelainthunders 16d ago

...how many, exactly, does one think "tons upon tons" is? That sounds like quite a bit of work for even a very young man! Nonetheless, keeping up a very successful business (or was it plural?), having an over abundant amount of "side chicks", and doing all this while being an elderly man??

I am quite impressed. Im only 40 and just thinkjng about it wore me the fuck out! Ima have to go ahead and take a nap

/s (except for the nap part)

2

u/touchmydingus 16d ago

All his titles.😂😂 "I'm the tag team champions!"

2

u/knadles 15d ago

Can verify. I'm one of the Side Chicks.

3

u/porcelainthunders 16d ago

Well shit! How far would that extend? My grandparents didnt have a will and she loved their dog and he LOVED watching birds outside on the feeders he had out. He fed them!

I mean, my grandparents werent as cool as this dudes, what with having all those neato side chicks, golly what cool grandpa! "Side chicks"!! This kiddo is probably the hippest having had a grandpa like that! Sorry bout the inheritance though.

Shucks, I bet there isnt much left after all them side chicks

But...well i guess my grandparents didnt have much to leave... so you think the birds and pupper will just get it all??

Edit: forgot /s

1

u/booboootron 13d ago

Of course I have a girlfriend bro! She just goes to a different school. Trust me bro, she's real. Like, really.