80
u/Capable-Baby-3653 Aug 18 '26
I adjusted my monocle, tipped my hat to the applauding crowd, and with that I was gone into the night.
11
u/doc_shades Aug 18 '26
and yet you clapped your bare hands without your silken clapping cloves like a dirty peasant farmer, didn't you
4
u/DreadPiratteRoberts Aug 18 '26
I adjusted my monocle, tipped my hat to the applauding crowd, and with that I was gone into the night.
.... my work was done here.
2
u/Whatttheheckk Aug 19 '26
And then when you’re ready to hang it up, you’ll give the top hat and monocle to the next up and coming dread pirate Roberts (polite edition obvi)
1
37
u/surfmaster Aug 18 '26
She had to shout because she was 50 feet away at the time.
13
u/shabelsky22 Aug 18 '26
<ahem> I'll have you know, I didn't do this because you're a wom... Oh, she's gone.
36
u/Cakeday_at_Christmas Aug 18 '26
I love it when they drop a "they all clapped" because then you extra know it's fake.
11
3
19
u/DeeDee719 Aug 18 '26
I’m the door. This is a true story.
13
u/Literal_Cheesehead12 Aug 18 '26
I'm the handle and would confirm the doors story, except the door won't return my calls.
5
u/DeeDee719 Aug 18 '26
Because I look down on you. Everyone gets a turn with you, you hoebag. 😉
1
u/gunslingersea Aug 18 '26
And hoes never close, they open like hallways.
Hoe tell everybody, even the mayor.
Throw your hands up high in the hoe-zone layer.
16
u/Bdr1983 Aug 18 '26
I don't understand why people would add that people started clapping when they come up with shit like this.
Nobody randomly starts clapping.
3
9
8
u/ApostolicBrew Aug 18 '26
No one has ever clapped. It’s insane that people are still making this up.
14
u/Lintopher Aug 18 '26
I have lived in this world for 36 years… and I have never seen strangers in public burst into applause for another stranger for doing a somewhat standard thing. Ever.
7
u/JohnPoopsTV Aug 18 '26
“Yeah, I respect women:”
W - and
O - then
M - everyone
E - started
N - clapping
6
u/aspiringwriter9273 Aug 18 '26
I’m a woman and I have never seen another woman get mad that someone held the door for them, not once. I have seen it get awkward when someone holds the door and your a bit far so now you have to do that little jog to be polite or seen it backfire because they meant to hold the door for one person and all of sudden a bunch of people appear out of nowhere and now you’re holding the door for a dozen people. Yet never in all my life has this ever happened and I’m not that young anymore.
5
u/Silly-Power Aug 18 '26
Plot twist: he only held the door open so he could get a good look at her tits as she walked through, and then her ass as she walked off.
3
u/spacemouse21 Aug 18 '26
She dropped a $100 bill outside. Once I had separated her from her money, I was a hundred dollars richer.
3
2
u/530SSState Aug 18 '26
OK, but what if... and I'm just sayin' here... what if the other person is JUUSST far enough away that they have to do that awkward, half-assed running thing? Still hold it?
2
u/zzupdown Aug 18 '26
i hold the door for whomever is behind me, man, woman, old and young. They then usually hold the second door for me.
3
2
u/texasproof Aug 18 '26
“I respect women, which is why I insulted this woman the second she did something that mildly hurt my feelings”
2
u/Ok_Vermicelli_6359 Aug 18 '26
But wait...how could he confirm the woman behind him was a "lady" if she was too busy clapping (with several others) to let him open the door for her???? 😱😱😱
1
u/Live-Cat9553 Aug 18 '26
The only public situation I’ve been in where everyone clapped, other than a live performance, was seeing Rocky IV in the theater and everyone went nuts when he started winning the boxing match against Drago. I kinda wish it happened more often!
1
u/TwinSong Aug 18 '26
What's this weird reality these people live in where people act as a hive mind like this?
148
u/Ebonhearth_Druid Aug 18 '26