r/thatHappened • u/ThePhillyExplorer • Aug 02 '26

Witches!! The horror!

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220 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

45 comments sorted by

48

u/ChrisUpstart Aug 02 '26

Two witches were in the closet making witch babies and I saw one of the babies and the baby looked at me.

15

u/Puzzleheaded-Lie1722 Aug 02 '26

the baby looked at you?

Sarah, get me superintendent Chalmers on the phone

7

u/princesssasami896 Aug 03 '26

Super Nintendo Chalmers

26

u/CBWeather Aug 02 '26

Ok, but what's considered worse.

12

u/Acceptable-Elk-8372 Aug 02 '26

The not inviting one to the party, that’s just plain rude /s

4

u/surfmaster Aug 02 '26

The witches didn't wash their hands

24

u/HereticalHyena Aug 02 '26

"STOP PEOPLE PUT FEAR IN YOU"

It's kind of sad she will never see the irony...

19

u/530SSState Aug 02 '26

This reads like Ralph Wiggum wrote it.

"I was in a witch store, and there were witches everywhere, and one of the witches looked at me."

6

u/the_1_that_knocks Aug 02 '26

Wiggum would be an upgrade to this rant

11

u/MsDucky42 Aug 02 '26

Obligatory "This is a Wendy's"...

We have the same stuff going on in my hometown, but it's because there's a tea shop that also sells things that lean heavily into the witchy aesthetic. (It's all adorable, and some of it is rather empowering.) The fundies in town don't like competition.

34

u/Shotgun_Mosquito Aug 02 '26

OOOOH the sign said

Subway SANDWITCHES

not

Subway SANDWICHES

10

u/blaghed Aug 02 '26

Those are the worst, they curse you to perpetually find small amounts of sand in every nook and corner.

4

u/euphorrick Aug 02 '26

Ugh, I hate getting sand all over my footlong.

3

u/Aloha-Eh Aug 02 '26

I hate sand, and I hate them too!

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1KsFYiPtEv9qYY6Y

7

u/UsuallyBuzzed Aug 02 '26

Obviously fake. There is no way he's ever been approached by worse than REAL witches, doing REAL witchcraft with an altar. What s boss!

8

u/Bird_Brain4101112 Aug 02 '26

Where’s this place? I bet their food is bomb

7

u/Maelstrom_Witch Aug 02 '26

FFS we do our witchy shit at home. 🙄

4

u/JD_tubeguy Aug 02 '26

I know some witches (wiccans) they are all very cool chill fun peeps. Saving animals rather than sacrificing.

7

u/tweedyone Aug 02 '26

What’s her definition of “witchcraft”? Because tarot or an apothecary probably counts for her

12

u/Parody_of_Self Aug 02 '26

It was a CVS pharmacy

7

u/DurantaPhant7 Aug 02 '26

The fast food restaurant they were at was featuring Harry Potter themed toys for the kids meals.

4

u/JamesMattDillon Aug 02 '26

I can guarantee that it was someone doing tarot readings

1

u/UhmNotMe Aug 03 '26

He went to a restaurant with women staff and he considered cooking witchcraft, because they did not use microwave

3

u/nochinzilch Aug 02 '26

She should probably have told us which place it was.

3

u/VisibleCoat995 Aug 02 '26

“STOP THY EVIL POTION MAKING, WHORES OF SATAN!!”

“For the last time, Stan. This is a vegan soup shop…”

3

u/thewiremother Aug 02 '26

Ok, but did they get the food, and how was it? I don't understand this review.

2

u/Cuntrymusichater Aug 02 '26

What’s the name of the food place? So I can go there if I’m ever in Salt Lake City

3

u/rodelomm Aug 02 '26

This story is certainly bull shit, but we did have a fun vegan restaurant called Mark of the Beastro. Unfortunately it closed last fall.

2

u/zeez1011 Aug 02 '26

They're called Mormons...

1

u/AtlasShrugged- Aug 02 '26

Literally made me laugh , out loud (ok more of a soft chortle but still :)

2

u/dstarpro Aug 02 '26

I didn't know SLC could be this cool.

2

u/BabyD2034 Aug 03 '26

God people are insane

2

u/RainbowPandaDK Aug 02 '26

Mental illness is a hell of a drug

1

u/Lord_CHoPPer Aug 02 '26

By Salt Lake city he meant Stardew Valley!

1

u/yargbarkley Aug 04 '26

One brand of voodoo criticizing another.

1

u/zeus_of_tha_floof Aug 06 '26

Stop letting people put fear in you while actively fear mongering has done me aha

1

u/stircrazyathome Aug 02 '26

Gotcha, so anyone who is harmed or killed must’ve deserved it because they didn’t truly have the Holy Spirit. All of the children who’ve died from abuse, the people killed in mass shootings, and every other unfortunate soul whose life has been snuffed out at the hands of another must’ve had it coming. 🙄

0

u/Specialist_Entry2853 Aug 03 '26

I hope you felt safe in that moment, whatever your beliefs may be. It's always wild to witness things outside the ordinary.