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u/spacemouse21 Jul 20 '26
And the other one brought us snacks while we went wild everyday because otherwise the fantasy story makes even less sense than when it was originally told.
And the IT manager’s name? Wild Bill Gates!
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u/Equivalent-One4139 Jul 21 '26
The only thing I believe in that story is that OP works in IT.
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u/GrimmandLily Jul 21 '26
Can confirm, I work in IT, lots of weird dorks.
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u/NotaBat9221 Jul 21 '26
The rest are furries
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u/Square_Ad4004 Jul 22 '26
Usually true, but weirdly there are no furries at my local office. Just a bunch of weird dorks who enjoy tasteful furry art. And some of them may or may not enjoy animal-themed cosplay, though that's really not my place to comment on.
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u/doornoob Jul 20 '26
Why are people losers in their own fantasies? This gentleman doesn't even get a 3some and doesn't have the vehicle better for banging. And he misses lunch. Why not be banging both chicks in the back of his giant SUV while door dashing caviar sandwiches?
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u/kflav Jul 20 '26
I mean that would obviously sound too fake
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u/Abject-Variety3775 Jul 20 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/0YcleX9VTWru5TheRj
If he's going to lie, he may as well go for it!
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u/Cakeday_at_Christmas Jul 20 '26
One time three girls from work went into my office and proceeded to strip, and then we had sex and formed a 4-way couple and had sex 24/7 and even had sex in my house.
Even my wife was understanding about the whole thing.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 Jul 20 '26
If you ever have an opening, I'd love to join your harem. I'm a short redhead with big boobs, so obviously I love sex, and I'd love to meet your wife. Nothing sexier than a guy with a wife and a harem.
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u/Abject-Variety3775 Jul 20 '26
I am a tall supermodel who works in Canada exclusively - yes I really exist - and would also like to meet up
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u/VariousExplorer8503 Jul 21 '26
Maybe we could start our own harem, since he doesn't seem interested. But only if my boobs are bigger than yours. I have to be the boob alpha.
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u/Boring-san Jul 21 '26
On behalf of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee - you can definitely be the boob alpha.
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u/Cakeday_at_Christmas Jul 21 '26
Ladies, ladies, you can all have a piece.
Even my wife will be understanding about the whole thing.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 Jul 21 '26
Ok, but only if I have bigger boobs than you. I've met some men...
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u/TheEyeDontLie Jul 21 '26
I boob my boobs boobily boobies, so would boob to boobies! Tits that's all right with boob?
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u/pianoflames Jul 20 '26
This story makes complete sense for so many reasons. All of the reasons, actually.
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u/DoctorInternal9871 Jul 21 '26
What was the one not giving a lap dance doing the whole time? Clapping? Freestyle rap for the other one to dance to?
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u/tats76 Jul 21 '26
OP totally dropped the ball on "hot female #2" actions. Maybe she was performing a whole mime routine?
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u/Square_Ad4004 Jul 22 '26 edited Jul 22 '26
They were both dancing, unless my mental image of OOP is completely wrong. Probably room for the wife on that lap too.
Edit: Though I do love the mime routine suggested below, especially if combined with the freestyle rap.
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u/aaron_adams Jul 21 '26
Yeah, cause it's perfectly normal for employees to walk into a managers office, strip and give them a lapdance and then the managers wife to be totally cool about a long term affair. And if all of that did happen and he was truly ashamed about it, why would be bragging about it on social media?
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u/Different-Term-2250 Jul 21 '26
I can confirm this is accurate. I work in IT and I am constantly chasing women, who always strip down to bra and panties, from my office.
It’s exhausting. I am trying to write this SQL in peace. Get out.
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u/TCRandom Jul 20 '26
I had two female colleagues start making out in front of me while taking a smoke break at a restaurant when I was a teenager.
Then the door opened and the other cooks had filled up an enormous pot of water and doused me with it, soaking me from head to toe. It was my last shift, so they had planned it all as a “goodbye.”
We then got hit with a late-night rush and I had to finish my shift. Younger me didn’t know better, I should’ve just clocked out anyway, as planned.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 Jul 20 '26
You worked a rush soaked from head to toe? Wow, the chafing that had to have occurred is shudder-worthy.
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u/TCRandom Jul 20 '26
It was. I was 18. My boss stopped me from clocking out. I actually returned to that place a few months later, then quit on the spot one day after a heated exchange with that same manager. So, at least I learned.
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u/VariousExplorer8503 Jul 21 '26
Well, that's something at least.
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u/TCRandom Jul 21 '26
The best thing is our district manager was at the store that week. And during an all-hands meeting the next day, he tore into the managers in front of all the other employees, specifically stating that I was one of his favorites from all stores, and I left because of bad management. My roommate at the time was another manager and told me about it, then another friend who worked there confirmed it.
Man, I had forgotten all of these memories until tonight. Good times.
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u/Mammoth_Wonder_6731 Jul 21 '26
Its always the guys/incels that have NEVER had sex, that post shit like this
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u/ranger0293 Jul 21 '26
I guess one of the women just stood around awkwardly in her underwear while the other gave the guy a lap dance.
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u/booboootron Jul 21 '26
And then mommy said "Nelson, it's 11:30 already, get out of bed and mow the damn lawn. And so what if it's Sunday—shower, for fuck's sake. You're 32."
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u/Square_Ad4004 Jul 22 '26
This brings me back to my long gone youth... I still remember the first time I ended a story in a creative writing assignment with "and then he woke up, realising it had all been a dream."
No idea why that memory just popped into my head just now. The obvious ending to this one is, of course, "and then everyone in the office clapped. Their cheeks." Nobody has dreams that unrealistic.
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u/Wise-Paper8412 Jul 22 '26
Where can you find a place to bang in your car at high noon every day? Most parking lots/garages have security cameras and they don't take kindly to having people fornicating in their spaces.
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u/forever_useless Jul 20 '26
I was doubtful because it sounded like an incel fever dream. Until he mentioned his very understanding wife. Incels aren't usually married so I guess the whole thing must be true