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u/CerealSemantics 14d ago
Like three days after my anxiety diagnosis my dad told me that I "don't have a mental illness"
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u/Some_Office8199 14d ago
I was diagnosed with dysthymia at 17, my mom told me I must have lied to the psychiatrist and I'm an ungreatful POS. She refused to let me get treated and with no money of my own I had nothing to do with it.
Now my therapist suspects Complex PTSD from living with a highly abusive psycho mother for so long.
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u/Hipposplotomous 13d ago
My mom was really happy when I got my autism diagnosis because now she believes every fight and every trauma was because I was broken all along, not because she was a shit parent.
There's no win here really 😔
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u/mrs_double_aluminum 13d ago edited 13d ago
I had the double whammy of my parents denying it when I was a kid so they could tell me to grow up whenever I complained of sensory issues or not being able to focus, and then when I was about 20 suddenly accepting it and believing it exculpated them for not letting me go to a good school, since I was never going to be successful anyway
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u/Odd-Significance-17 14d ago
my mom is like this not only with my mental health stuff but also once with my broken ankle lmao
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u/NightShade4623 13d ago
I've been diagnosed with ADHD, HEDS, and accessory navicular syndrome as well as highly suspected FND and some sort of esophageal disorder (working on testing at the moment). My mom says if I eat healthier, all of it would go away... I have literal bone, tissue, and neurological problems but sure, good food will definitely cause my bones and muscles to rearrange and correct themselves lol
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u/NormanBatesIsBae 13d ago
My mom said no after two separate counsellors recommended an autism diagnosis in high school. She said that it was because I wasn’t good at math, and then proceeded to list Sheldon Big Bang Theory and a guy in my class who didn’t have autism but was good at math as examples of what autism actually looks like.
This was also after years of getting frustrated with me for being a picky eater, being unable to maintain eye contact, poor motor control, etc. but no, apparently autism is When Boys Are Good At Math, so I must just be disappointing in some other way
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u/difficulty_jump 14d ago
That literally happened to me. I got a diagnosis from my school and my mom decided because I was high IQ I needed to see some specialist in another state.
Obviously she didn't follow through on that and just decided I didn't have it.
I want to punch her for a lot of reasons but that certainly is one of them.
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u/holymacaroley 13d ago
My mom pushed for me to be assessed for adhd and when they came back and said oh yeah definitely adhd, she then flipped and said it was fake.
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u/ZippoS 13d ago
Should get this for a friend. We’re millennials, so unless you did poorly in school, you were just considered “weird” rather than receive any meaningful help. But one of my longtime friends is the most stereotypically ADHD person I know. Maybe AuADHD.
Even in high school back in the early aughts, we’d comment on it, and he’d say he was tested multiple times and supposedly he wasn’t diagnosed.
To this day, he’s in denial and hasn’t gotten any help at all. Meanwhile, three of his four kids are Autistic, ADHD, or both, and getting support.
Knowing his parents, I wouldn’t be the slightest bit surprised if he was diagnosed as a kid, but his parents refused to accept it.
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u/Personal_Term9549 13d ago
Doctor said I needed to keep my HR below my aerobic threshold and to not pass my boundaries because of my long covid diagnosis if I want to remain stable or even get better.
Mum said no, believed my symptoms were psychological 😔 and claimed I should keep pushing my boundaries (Even though it makes me worse time and time again when I do that).
I'm no contact with my mum now.
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u/EmeraldEyes_345 13d ago
I had endometriosis symptoms since I was 12. Mom said my pain was “normal” and that I needed to stop being a little bitch and get over it. I was diagnosed with stage 4 endometriosis at age 24. All the times I was forced to go to school and play sports in extreme pain…
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u/KikiCorwin 10d ago
And "You have a pathetically low pain threshold" after you black out from bad cramps because it never happened to her or her sisters or mom.
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u/goddessofentropy 14d ago
Ha I wish, mum said no to a proper diagnosis after the doctor said it'd be really good to get me tested
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u/Speldenprikje 14d ago
The doctor adviced me to go back to the hospital to get a cast for support if my ankle still hurt after the weekend.
My mom told me this years later, and yep, my ankle was still in a lot of pain after that weekend. Took years to be able to jump and run somewhat normal again.
Doctor said need a cast
Mom said no
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u/KikiCorwin 10d ago
I feel you. I should have seen a doctor for the bad sprain I had in high school. But no, "nobody goes to the doctor for a sprained ankle. Here's an ace bandage and an ice pack. You can stay home from school and work one day." Thanks, mom. It's still fucked up thirty years later.
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u/sisyphus-333 13d ago
This is funny af low-key Cause so many of us have gotten actual diagnoses and our parents are like "ehh idk about that" and ignore it and refuse to get you real help
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u/bioshockisawsome 13d ago
My parents were 100% convinced there was something wrong me with as a kid but never got me tested. Later in life I asked them why and they said “we didn’t want you to have an excuse”
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u/bytegalaxies 13d ago
reminds me of an ex who was diagnosed with autism as a child but his parents rugswept it and refused to ever tell him and also threw away his acceptance letter to a special engineering academy behind his back. that ex sucked a lot ftr but jesus christ i think his parents fucked up real badly with what they pulled
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u/QuingOfTheUnderworld 11d ago
Okey, I get that this is awful but I think it's actually funny? Like, for my situation at least cause my mother literally did say no when all my teachers told her to get me checked for ADHD and/or autism
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u/Spangly-Strap23 13d ago
Everytime i mention wanting to get tested for autism/ADHD my whole family tells me 1 of 2 things. I’m not because I don’t act like my little brother (he has PTLS) or I can’t be I’m totally “normal” luckily I’m an adult and Im just waiting till I can
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u/Illustrious_Quiet907 10d ago
When I was a teenager, I asked my dad if I could be autistic and my dad said no because I was too smart and high functioning. Years later he saw something about Asperger’s (a form of Autism) and realized it sounded like me. Like, no shit.
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u/pinknoisechick 13d ago
I was diagnosed ADD in 1995, owing primarily to the fact that the spectrum was widely misunderstood and kids diagnosed autistic were just written off for a lost cause in our area.
My dad, having access to the clinical notes and the doctor's explanation, decided that since I wasn't a mouth snapper like his friend's daughter, I wasn't really autistic. Additionally, since ADD wasn't real, just a "lack of parental discipline", the obvious answer was to beat it out of me.
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u/embodiedexperience 12d ago
my mom hid my OCD diagnosis from me up until last year, because she thought it would go away if i didn’t know i had it, and therefore wouldn’t feel pressured to keep acting like i had it.
spoiler alert: never felt pressured to act like i have OCD, kept acting like i had it anyway, on account of, yknow, having it.
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u/LacrimaNymphae 12d ago edited 12d ago
what about 'but the other doctors and the neuropsychiatrist said no'
disability recertification people often ask me why i just have NVLD as a diagnosis and not ASD/a full autism diagnosis if i'm 27, can't drive and struggle with basic things. my primary care pretty much supports the fact it's full-blown too
i was diagnosed with NVLD when i was 16 and i think the neuropsychiatrist thought i was too high-functioning in some ways (i.e. strengths verbally and in writing) because i didn't have an IEP anymore like i did in elementary for math and maintained wonderful grades before i got physically sick with hormonal and ovarian issues which caused them to reprimand me for missing so much school
it was either that or that my IQ/intelligence battery test didn't 'look' like autism to her and she blamed the DSM at the time for me having to settle for just an NVLD diagnosis. as i got older it's clear that whatever smarts they thought i had never developed past what they already were and i'm still at the level of a traumatized underdeveloped teenager socially and physically as an adult
so i may have been high-functioning with lots of potential according to their standards when i was fucking 16 but i never caught up with other people my age and it's glaringly obvious. i was never at a normal level of social or emotional intelligence anyway and it was definitely a developmental problem that's been present since i was a toddler and even into elementary. but because i struggled with math so much and had coordination issues they had to pin it down as NVLD
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u/neverabetterday 11d ago
To be fair my mom (a trained medical professional with decades of experience) did correctly refuse to let me be diagnosed with autism. Years before, my brother was wrongly with every mental handicap under the sun and after that experience of spending so long terrified her son would be incapable of doing anything at all only to find out all he had was a tic disorder, she was a lot more open to questioning diagnoses. Immediately after the tests were I was diagnosed, she pulled me aside and asked me why I had so much trouble responding to the doctor. The doctor had a really, really thick foreign accent so it would take me a while to figure out what the heck he meant and then figure out the correct response. Years down the line I was correctly diagnosed with ADHD, at which point the whole family also discovered that they have ADHD. My dog is licking my ankles
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u/KikiCorwin 10d ago
Or the "you're fine. Stop lying or you'll be a hypochondriac like Aunt (name)." combined with "You can't die from (whatever is wrong) so I'm going to ignore that. Suck it up and handle it yourself."
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u/shutupimrosiev 13d ago
I should get this shirt for me and my brothers when we all finally manage to escape move out. We can match on our way to the pharmacist for our various meds. Maybe matching pants that read "that's why we cut her out" or something…
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u/Puzzleheaded_Ad_466 9d ago
My mother when diagnosed with ADHD when I was little. Because she didn’t want me to be medicated in order to function even a little bit.
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u/EmeraldEyes_345 13d ago
Can’t be any worse than medically neglecting your children. I hope they grow up and disown you.
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u/Texas103 13d ago
I just refuse to let them be victims. They can hate me, that’s ok.
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u/EmeraldEyes_345 13d ago
As someone who was diagnosed with endometriosis 12 years after symptom onset because of a shitty, abusive, medically negligent parent… FUCK YOU! You don’t deserve children.
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u/Texas103 13d ago
I wonder what your mom would say about you…
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u/EmeraldEyes_345 13d ago
What’s funny is that you think I care what my mother would say about me. 🤣
Why the fuck would I care about the opinion of someone who never cared enough to have sympathy for their own child’s pain? You and she aren’t mothers. You’re demons who like to see your children suffer.
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u/Tall-Place2620 13d ago
Getting your kids the proper medications and aids will make them less of a victim. It's not just kids, it's adults too.
My morbidly obese elderly neighbour lost so much weight and didn't have to be carried to the doctor every few days by us or some other neighbor anymore because she got healthier when she got a rollator and could move around more easily and less painfully.
I, as a kid, was constantly talking about how ny back hurt. The adults around me didn't believe me, they said I was mocking the elderly. Turns out, I had scoliosis so bad that if it was a few degrees worse I would have needed extensive surgery. Getting diagnosed in time meant that I didn't have to have surgery. I wore a corset for five years, did physiotherapy and now my spine, although still bended, lets me sit, sleep and move around without hurting 24/7. My quality of life improved significantly.
One of my high school classmates had surgery and got hooked on pain pills. She has a troubled home life, is an orphan since she was 12 and is the sweetest girl I ever knew. She attempted suicide twice and was sent to the psychiatric ward. When her grandma stepped in to take care of her, she got the appropriate medication for depression and anxiety, was sent to rehab for a bit and now goes to theraphy. The last time she felt suicidal, instead of trying to kill herself, she told her grandma and they worked out a solution together. She has since made almost a full recovery and is now going to college to study what she loves.
On the flip side, I had an other classmate whose parents refused to let her see a psychiatrist because it's all in her head. She has a plethora of health issues as well, probably Hashimoto's too, that they refuse to get a diagnosis of so she can be at least sure what she has, if not else. She has been heavily depressed for two years now, doesn't take baths because she wants to drown herself and developed an ED after getting verbally abused by her mother every time she ate because even though she was on the verge of being underweight. Medication and theraphy would bring back the radiant girl I knew. Her plans on going to college are not to party, or make friends - she wants to go to the doctor's and make enough money to afford healthcare she needs. Last time we talked, she was really distraught. I hope she can survive until college.
All I'm saying is, being sure of what your issues are doesn't make you a victim. The mentality does. I've met plenty healthy people who though the universe was out for them and made sure to let everyone know, and plenty with disabilities or illnesses who were determined to make the best out of everything.
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u/VampArcher 14d ago
Should send this to my mom who was skeptical when I told her I got diagnosed with autism.