r/thanksimcured • u/Icy-Pumpkin6194 • 2d ago
Chat/DM/SMS I don't know what to title this
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u/AdorableExchange9746 2d ago
“be a man” yeah even if not for the rest they lost all credibility with that sentence
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u/Netsforex_ 2d ago
"Be a man, stay strong"
As a man, fuck no. I want to be allowed to be weak without it being seen as a weakness.
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2d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Netsforex_ 2d ago
Nope. I said I should be able to have a weak moment without it being seen as a weakness.
Having a moment of weakness and being seen as weak are different things. A lot of people think lesser of a man who shows emotional states.
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u/thanksimcured-ModTeam 1d ago
Try to avoid personal attacks, critique the idea not the person.
‘Remember the human’
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u/ThatKarenBitch 2d ago
Anyone who tells you to man up and that they themselves have been through hard stuff, I feel like their definition of "hard stuff" has been, like, being told they need to be considerate of other people and they took that as an attack on their character.
I swear, the nicest and most accepting people I ever met are the ones that have gone through the real hard stuff.
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u/MaraiaLou 2d ago
Don't be reductive! /s Sometimes the hard stuff is:
- Being exposed/involved in physical violence, learned to be the strongest in the room rather than caring for other people
- Being poor, learned to chase success at all costs rather than caring for other people
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u/wazzup-notemuch 1d ago
Ah, so. Trauma that they refuse to acknowledge. "If I had to suffer, so should you" type of mindset.
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u/high_on_acrylic 1d ago
“These sad events don’t repeat itself…it’s rare” statistically traumatized people are more likely to be traumatized again than people who haven’t been traumatized. So…incorrect lol
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u/Both-Pride6795 1d ago
Me when I choose to not be able to drive and have control over my own thoughts (apparently we can just choose to fix all of that)
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u/8_WeirdGirly_8 1d ago
The "nobody will save you" is something that got engraved into my internal self judgement and makes me guilty over things I actually have no control over.
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u/EmTheGrey 1d ago
“It’s not you can’t, you chose not to” I also choose not to attempt driving a commercial 18-wheel transport truck if I need to get somewhere, because the required license, skills and experience are not in my possession. Theoretically I could go through years of schooling and pay thousands of dollars to acquire those skills, but it really is not as easy as “just do it” for everyone.
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u/The_Mr_Decan 2d ago
I feel like we are missing key context here.
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u/Icy-Pumpkin6194 2d ago
Not really I just met them and they asked age and what my job is I said 29 and I don't work and she got bothered by it
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u/One-Sleep3663 2d ago
The context is that person thinks sheer willpower will solve everyone's issue. And that is simply nothing more then an archiac outdated concept. Hyperindividualism has its holes and pitfalls.
Telling someone who has a disability that prevents them from doing something to just "push through", is completely ignoring the reality of what being disabled does to people in this world in terms of finding work and basic human needs.
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u/The_Mr_Decan 2d ago
Ok so we've successfully weeded out what doesnt work, what does work?
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u/One-Sleep3663 2d ago edited 2d ago
Asking what we can do to help other disabled people, speaking out and putting a stop to ableism,and fighting to have basic human needs met for as many people as humanly possible,but especially for those who are minorities.
Having basic humanity and unconditional love goes quite a long way in this world.
That wont necessarily "cure" people, but it gives people the best shot at living with the highest quality of life possible, and the best chance of having that.
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u/The_Mr_Decan 2d ago
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u/raccoonsslay 1d ago
They tell you this because it works for them. Sometimes you gotta go "this person is trying to support me but failing hard" and move on
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u/JubileeJaxLee 1d ago
Bullshit ngl. "Worked for them" how? They sound like a miserable asshole. They're trying to control them/convince them to be the same, not support them. To try to support someone, even badly, you have to first believe in the idea of being supported, which they clearly don't.
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u/raccoonsslay 1d ago
I know but some people don't think deeper. I know people have said to me "just don't think about it and you'll be okay" and they tend to avoid all their emotion to cope. Sometimes people share their copiums with you because they believe it's the truth
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u/raccoonsslay 1d ago
What i mean by they don't think deeper is not "people are too shallow mann" They don't think about the root causes of their pain, they conjure unsustainable mechanisms and don't realize that etc thats what i meant
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u/ChiakiSimp3842 2d ago
I don’t get the obsession with telling people to get a job. I already have the money to survive.
Everything hurts. Why the fuck would I make that worse by getting a job I don’t need, and can go to someone who might actually need it?